Bullying at Work - What else can I do?
Hi
I wanted to get some help and others' opinion about my current workplace bullying case.
I work for one of the largest companies in Australia and have had a successful career in senior roles for over 17 years. I was a well-respected and accomplished employee and I couldn't believe something like this will happen to me. In September last year I was diagnosed with PTSD associated with severe panic attacks, depression and axiety.
My anxiety started early last year when my team was structured and I was made to report to a new manager. This manager had no prior experience in my field of work and she struggled to understand it. A new support person was recruited to support me but was made to report to my manager, instead of me. This new person was a friend of my manager and also had no experience or skills to do the job. In addition to my training responsibilities, I had a very large workload and working long hours. My new manager and the new staff member started making inappropriate comments about my work and capability despite my extensive experience. Both will keep information from me and will not include me in planning activities which impacted my work. I also felt that some of my work was sabotaged and I kept fixing their errors. In one meeting, my manager yelled at me repeatedly in front of my colleague and I was terrified and cried for hours in the car park. I reported this immediately to her manager but he didn't do anything. I then started counselling sessions with our workplace assistance program then later when my condition did not improve, I spoke to HR to request a transfer. Shortly after, I couldn't go to work anymore suffering severe physical symptoms. During my darkest hour, when I was made aware of my condition, I felt a very strong urge to end my life. I was prescribed anti-depressant medication since. I was off work for a few months and my doctors advised my employer that I am no longer able to return in my previous team.
I thought that by speaking with HR, I will be transfered and my issues will be addressed. Instead, they made it very difficult for me by making me go through all the processes that I felt I didn't need given my situation. I was asked to provide many medical statements and sent me to an independent doctor who concurred with my GP and Psychologist. I didn't take out workers comp at first because I was led to believe that this wouldn't help with my transfer request, which is all I ever wanted - but now I wish I did. Instead of taking responsibility, my employer decided that since I am no longer able to work in my previous role, they have given me three months to find another role in the company or face termination. My union helped to get a fairer decision and asked to exempt me from going through normal recruitment procedures given my situation and health condition, as I am likely to be discriminated by hiring managers. I am due to finish up in 2 weeks with no job prospects.
I also eventually took out workers compensation hoping this would help change their decision but it was rejected with findings heavily flawed and biased to my managers. They even questioned the accuracy of the diagnosis of PTSD for workplace bullying, ignoring three medical professionals' opinions. My union is disputing and applying to reconsider. I also found out that my managers have lied about many things in their statement to make me look bad.
I do not know what to do anymore. I feel I have done everything. My family and friends are telling me to just resign because it's affecting me so much, but I want to continue fighting, otherwise other people in my team will suffer. I have heard of people in the team being forced to sign statements against their will. One former colleague told me that she was ganged up on as well by the same team and now also being depressed. What do you think I should do? My previous team and my managers are very influential in the organisation and I know that they can get people to turn against me. I sometimes feel it's a lost cause. My company also has a big reputation to protect and I'm sure they will do everyhting to cover this up. I'm not sure what I should do. I feel I am being bullied again by this organisation, whom I have dedicated most of my life to. My union says if they terminate me, I will have a case against them, but at the same time it will affect my career. If I resign I will not have a case to fight them but will be easier for me to get a new job. What do you think?
I appreciate any thoughts. Thank you.
Comments
Hello Iamstrong, I'm new to this website and was drawn immediately to your story. I read it last night, along with the replies and spent over half an hour responding, only to lose it all through this silly little laptop I'm presently using! Anyway, I just wanted to touch base with you quickly as I'm getting ready to go to a meeting with one of the staff agencies in the city - yes, I too have a similar story, but will come back online tonight and give you all the appalling circumstances.
I just needed to tell you and everyone who suffers from PTSD as the result of workplace bullying that this is NOT a mental illness, nor is it a weakness of character. PTSD is a 'psychological injury' - a wound, if you will - that cannot be seen. Sufferers are not weak or simply lack the strength to 'get it under control' far from it - we are survivors.
A psychological wound puts a tear in the very fabric of your being and changes you forever. Rather than trying to overcome the injury, it is safer to embrace it, understand and accept that you will never be the person you were before, and when I say that I don't mean we should all give up and wallow in self-pity, absolutely not, but by accepting and acknowledging your injury and recognising it as one of life's battle scars, you can then let it ride along with you and become part of the new you.
I wish I had more time to explain what I mean, but I will have to leave it until later - I'm running late so will now be running around the house doing an impression of the Mad Hatter!
Hi Goldilocks51
Thanks for your message. I'm interested in your concept of PTSD, particulalry about 'embracing it' and I hope you'll share more with us in this forum. I'm sure many will benefit from it.
You're right, many people wrongly associate PTSD as a mental illness rather than an injury. If people have better awareness / understanding of this condition, the future of PTSD sufferers like us will be better. I have heard and read many stories about people who have not been able to find employment due to the stigma attached to having had PTSD after being bullied. This is extremely unfair as this condition is a direct result of how they have been treated and not their own doing nor is hereditary.
I look forward to reading more of any information you could offer.
Regards,
iamstrong
Hi
My partner was bullied at work recently and is now suffering accute symptoms of PTSD and is currently having time away from work. The doctor is very supportive as the bullying began whilst recovering at home from a workplace injury. We have a very good psychologist, though it's our second one as I was not happy with the first as I believed my partner needed to be educated as to what had happened and how it related related to the symptoms experienced. I lodged a Bullying complaint with WorkCover.
Evelyn M Field has a couple of good books and a DVD which may help. I ordered these books and received them yesterday: Bully Blocking at Work and Strrategies for Surviving Bullying at Work which may be of interest to you. I am trying to find books on how to be assertive. It's been a steep learning curve with many hours spent researching information on bullying and PTSD which has been helpful, however, one website would be ideal. It would also be good if that one website included what an employees options are in these instances and provided examples of how to respond to certain situations when you're being bullied.
I guess it's a matter of what justice do you want for yourself? It's great to stand up to bullies but it's unlikely they will change and as you are responsible for your life - it's important to protect it. I have heard that it's difficult for these type of cases when it comes to litigation, especially the cost and then comes the difficulty proving what has happened within the parameters of the legal system.
Human Rights may be an option as they have a mediation process. Me personally, I'm not keen on mediation. How can one mediate with a bully and a workplace that condones such inappropriate behaviour? Also, once you're traumatised, the mere thought of having to face such people is a nightmare in itself - certainly not something I think is conducive to recovery (in my opinion).
I've seen the effects of bullying and the downward spiral into depression and PTSD of my partner. This has affected myself and our family. Appropriate laws need to be implemented and enforced as it's clear that policies and procedures, if they are in place, are ignored by some employers/management.
I'm pleased to see you standing up for your rights but I'm also disappointed in people for their lack of humanity and ignorance and/or avoidance of such matters. If only employees would stand up for the few rights they have - then perhaps laws would change and the working environment would become respectful, rather than ruthless.
With regards to your appeal of the workers compensation denial, I think there is a time limit on lodging an appeal and it may be worthwhile making some enquiries. Try WorkCover. In our experience lodging a workers compensation claim exacerbated the problem, however, all employees have the right to lodge a workers compensation claim. We've been through the smear campaign where they resort to lie lie lie, deny deny deny and they rely on the mud thrown to be taken prima facie.
I have personally found that education, knowing our rights, being pro-active have helped.
Have you thought of asking some of the people who had negative experiences to provide statements?
You have to decide what you want for yourself. As I mentioned before what justice do you want for yourself? Focus on what is possible and realistic and obtaining legal advice will help you. Your union should be able to point you in the direction of their workers compensation solicitor and also their employment solicitor.
You are not alone...there are many others out there who are going through the same thing.
Perhaps someone else here can answer the question about what groups exist, and where, for people to meet to discuss workplace bullying and their issues. Alternatively, if there isn't a group - how does one start a group - any suggestions?
Thanks for your note. Your partner is lucky to have such support from you. My partner has also been great and I'm sure your partner will agree that we couldn't have survived this if not for your love and support.
To update on my progress, I have decided to resign as the fight for my rights is proving to be very damaging to my health. My union, with the help of my solicitors, is representing me and negotiating my exit with my employer while I stay home. My employer practically ignored my complaint and is doing their best to find loopholes by being technical in every aspect of my situation. This made me lose faith in my employer and I became very sick the last few weeks before I left, up to the point that I get panic attacks just entering our building every morning. Unfortunately, what they are also doing is protecting these bullies which goes against their so-called strict policies against bullying in the workplace. Policies don't work on its own, it needs to be executed carefully. My workers comp claim is being reconsidered after I've disputed their findings which was supported by the union. Their findings were disgustingly biased and unjustified just so they could protect their business - with no care to what has happened to me.
You are right, education is key because I don't believe people fully understand the impacts of workplace bullying unless they have experienced it themselves. I have read Evelyn Field's books, they are great. It helped me understand what was happening to me and it helped me realise it wasn't my fault. Reading other people's experiences, not just about their condition, but how they approached it legally, was very useful. I think every employer in the country should have a copy of her book, I am in fact thinking of sending a copy to my employer and our workers comp dept. For assertiveness, I'm reading 'When I Say No, I Feel Guilty' by Manuel J Smith. He is the author of the 'Bill of Assertive Rights' which is a great tool that I used to rebuild my assertiveness.
I also agree that a website dedicated to workplace bullying is great idea. There are snippets of information everywhere but I haven't found anything meaty enough to help victims and their families understand the effects and how to deal with them. My psychologist is an anti-workplace bullying lobbyist and I have offered to help set up her website. She also plans to contact Evelyn Field and other resources like top workplace lawyers to begin some kind of a movement or campaign. I can provide an update on this forum when it is up and running.
Good luck and I hope your partner gets better soon.
iamstrong
Hi iamstrong
I am relieved that you are resigning from your workplace because it sounds like an extremely toxic environment and your health is at risk.
We've experienced a similar situation as yourself. The bullies are protected and the attitude toward company policies is apathetic unless of course non-management employees transgress these policies and then it's not acceptable.
Don't waste your money or time sending your employer a copy of any books. Why? They don't care and it won't make a difference.
They've already demonstrated their apathy toward company policies and procedures then which probably exist only so they're seen to be doing the right thing. Unfortunately, companies know how to micro manage people and how to do so legitimately. They play the game well and employees have very few rights.
We also suffered similar biased and unjust treatment from the employer. Do they care about my partner - no!
Thanks for the book suggestions as I'm really interested in reading good books to help with assertiveness. Whilst I wasn't the one going through it directly, I have had moments when the stress of our situation has become overwhelming to the point where I've been vomiting.
I'm not sure if this falls into the realms of inappropriate, but if you live in Sydney and would like to get together to chat that would be good. If you are hopefully this site may allow me to post my email address here for you to reply direct to that rather than on this forum.
I'm all for someone willing to take on "the powers that be" in order to have bullying and harassment recognised thus giving employees the recognition and help they deserve under these circumstances and a simpler way of ascertaining relevant informaiton and support. I honestly believe animals have more rights than humans.
The other reason why we think it's important that support conversations stay here in the forums is that about 90% of the people who get the benefit and help from these forums will never post or even sign up for an account. Time and time again in evaluation users tell us that while they would never ask the question or have the conversation themselves - reading about others having a similar experience makes them feel less alone, that they can get through it and believe that help is out there. The posts between you and iamstrong will go a long way in helping many people out there feel stronger and more confident to cope with workplace bullying and find the help they need.
I hope you understand...
To ANYONE who is being bullied:
1. This is not acceptable
2. Research WorkCover or other websites and find out what constitutes bullying and how it affects people
3. Compare this with your workplace experiences and how you are feeling - consider this carefully as sometimes
one can be in denial of what is happening and how they feel
4. Remember: You are not the first to be bullied, nor will you be the last. Bullying incidents are on the rise.
5. Keep a written diary of everything that is said to you at your workplace and also record in that diary any other
employees who are nearby who may have witnessed you talking with the bully
6. Work out who the "yes" people are ie. those who support the bullies for whatever reason; then work out
those who ignore an employee who is being bullied and those who are anti bullying
7. Find yourself and good doctor and psychologist
8. You may choose to lodge a complaint with your employer or with WorkCover. Bear in mind that bullying employers
generally do not change. Their policies and procedures are in place so they are seen to be doing the right thing.
9. Consider lodging a workers compensation claim for psychological injury. These are difficult to prove, but not
impossible.
10. Consider what justice you want for yourself.
11. Remember, that you are responsible for your health and DO what is best for your health
12. This may mean looking for an another job due to the risk of your personal health and safety at your present
workplace.
13. Learn how to be assertive, not aggressive - a psychologist can help you with this and also be proactive
researching the internet to obtain information or purchase some books to help yourself.
14. WorkCover, Human Rights, Fair Work are places where you can go to try to resolve issues you may be having
with your workplace. These places have their own jurisdiction and not one place handles all complaints.
15. If you're in a union - enlist their help and be assertive to ensure you get that help. You may need to talk with
2 different solicitors: a workers compensation solicitor and an employment solicitor.
I would like to add that with regard to bullying:
There needs to be one place where people can obtain the information that they need ie, what to do, when to do it, how to do it, where to go; rather than squandering their personal resources (emotional, mental, physical) at a time when they find it difficult to think clearly, because they've been traumatised by the bullying behaviour, and they need to avoid further potential harm to their wellbeing through the frustration trying to establish what can be done.
From my personal experience, what I needed was to be educated about what bullying is, how it affects people, then what can I do about it and who can help me ie. what are my options and where do I go to exercise those options but in a way that keeps me safe from the effects of the bullying.
To Sophie-RO - thanks for your response - message understood.
Hi iamstrong
sorry to hear about your horrible time at work.
Unfortunately it is common practice for people to get jobs through people they know, even when they know nothing about the job. In one job I worked in I even saw the boss looking at pornography.
It soulds like you would be happier with another company, and Im sure that with your experience there would be companies who would love to have you work for them.
Hugs.
J
iamstrong: I haven't anything to add to what ElleBelle said. I think she really gave some good advice. Reading through your posts in this thread, I get the impression that you're a strong person and I really like the steps you are taking to get over this hurdle. I hope you will keep us posted on what happens.
Hello iamstrong, welcome to the Reach Out forums. I like your username, and it must be true for you to have been through so much. It is despicable that workplace bullying still exists. These people are cowards and you do not deserve to have been treated so poorly by your colleagues.
It's fantastic that you have such a supportive union who are willing to back you up. Have you discussed your options with your psychologist? It seems like you have carefully considered the pro's and con's of staying and resigning so ultimately the decision will come down to whether you want to go out fighting, or make a break for the sake of your health. It's really unfortunate that whistleblowers are not always treated kindly in this country but I admire you for refusing to accept unfair and illegal treatment.
What steps are you taking to manage your PTSD and anxiety? Relaxation techniques like meditation can be very helpful, and if you have an iPhone you could try the PTSD Coach app.
I hope you can keep in touch and let us know what you decide.
Hi ElleBelle
Thanks for your reply. My username is one of my self-affirmations that helps me get through my day. Since I've experienced the bullying, I have lost my confidence, sense of self, self-worth, self-esteem.. everything positive that I used to believe about myself! I used to think I can do anything, now I don't know. I didn't realise something like this could happen to me, but now I know that bullying can happen to anyone and could be very damaging as what I have experienced.
When my doctors told my employer that I cannot go back to my previous team, I insisted that I work in another team even temporarily while I look for a more permanent role. I knew, whilst difficult, that this is the only way I can get some normality back in my life after being off work for quite a while. And I was lucky to find a team that can take me in. This has helped me so much in getting some feeling of self-worth back. I still struggle with a few things like going upstairs (2nd floor) where my old team was. One time I had to attend a meeting in a room close to where my old team was located and embarassingly, I had ask someone to walk with me to the room. When I returned to my desk, I became very anxious and was hyperventilating and afterwards I had severe diarrhoea. I do my breathing excercises and still have regular sessions with my psychologist but recently it's getting worse again as I get closer to the time when I have to leave my work - whether through resignation or termination. I've been in this company all my life, it's been my very first job after leaving Uni and I've worked really hard to get to where I am today. I'm devastated and furious that I'm leaving this way. I'm also scared of what is out there as I have never had any experience working for anyone else. My psychologist says I'm curently going through a grieving process and it will be very difficult so I need to be very strong. Everyday has become a struggle again, I cry all the time especially when I think about the things I have done in my 18 years with this company and how they have treated me.
To get through the pain, I'm trying hard to let more people into my life. I have shut all my friends and family before but now I'm letting them back in. I have a very supportive partner who helps me and forces me to see other people even if I don't want to. Today, one of my best friends baked me some brownies to cheer me up. I told her I love her which I have never said to her before and it felt really good to be able to acknowledge my feelings whether good or bad... as long as I tell someone, I feel that it helps as I am never the kind of person who shares feelings. I think that's why my cindition got so bad because I tried to manage it on my own and I refused to get help. Now I seek help.
Thanks for your tip about the PTSD app, I have downloaded it now on my iPhone. I will let you know how I go.
iamstrong
I am so sorry to hear about you awful experience - as ElleBelle said, it's awful that this kind of discrimination STILL exists.
I am SO glad your union is helping you fight as well - maybe they will continue fighting for the sake of other employees even if you do decide to walk away?
Ultimately as Elle said, it's up to you what you do but I would strongly recommend talking with your psychologist. Maybe leaving the company is the best idea and then you can take a bit of time off work altogether to build your confidence back up before finding a new, better, more understanding job?
Good luck making the decision - it's a hard one but I'm sure you are able to do it (you are strong after all!).
MM.
