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Personality disorder (borderline)

I have just found out I have this personality disorder, I have always had really bad depression and trouble coping with things, even just General day to day challenges. Anyone else out there have this mental illness? What did you do about it? What helped you cope? Any Info would be appreciated

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hey @Nh91 


Welcome to the forums. 


It sounds like you have been going through a lot and having depression and trouble coping must be very hard for you. I cannot relate to what you are going through but I think it is so positive that you are trying to find help for yourself. There is a factsheet about personality disorders if you would like to read that and also building positive coping skills are so important and this factsheet has some ideas you could try to see what works for you. 


You are so strong and keep on keeping on Smiley Happy 


Take care 

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hi @Nh91 ,

Welcome to Reachout. Smiley Happy

I don't know much about BPD, but hopefully some of the other people on the forums will be able to chime in with their experiences.

Was it a counsellor who diagnosed you? Hopefully they'll be able to make some suggestions for next steps for you.
Otherwise the fact sheets that were linked before might have some helpful info about different ways to get support.

I hope you stick around the forums and let us know how it's going for you.


Good luck!


Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Im a sufferer of ADD depresion and anxiety aswell as compulsive prefercence to constant crisis, what helped well alot did but acceptance is number one. I found a girl who could accept me and love me. I recconnected with friends, and deeply reconsidered who my real friends were. I started excersising and surprisingly walking had the best affect. I also began helping other people. but dont absorb their problems just help. also strangely finding a religious beleif can help immensely. Once you make your life valuable to other people, you start to realise its worth. this is a breif list and i will elaborate, example or gove you other strategies if these dont work. you are not alone and you are not beyond repair. Smiley Happy

Nothing worth doing is easy, it will be a long climb. I hope this helps, keep in touch

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hey Nh91,


I think it is great that you have been able to recognise something was not quite right and that you sought help with it to reach a diagnosis. You should congratulate yourself on seeking help! 


The factsheets already listed have some really great info on what steps to take now that you know what you are dealing with. In the meantime, I really encourage you to let close friends or family know what you are going through and how you are feeling. This can be really great as not only will it help them understand your behaviour better, but it can also be a fantastic way to get support. Have you told anyone about your situation? If so, do you this benefited you?


Keep trying to help yourself, you are doing a great job! 

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hi there,

I haven't had a diagnosis of BPD yet. My psychologist after a few sessions mentioned that I had "symptoms of a strong Borderline Personality Disorder". I've since asked him NOT to label me with it as i'm afraid of the consequences and am petrified of maybe actually being assigned the label. My gut (and all of my past girlfriends (yes i'm a male borderline)) tell me i've got it. I've stopped seeing the psych since. I suppose I'm like you where getting through the days is an absolute chore. I feel like the day is over the moment I wake up and feel like i'm constantly underwater. My mind never stops and most of the day is an excercise in self torture.

There is something that i've found has helped me get some relief from myself (if that makes any sense) and that is my recent addiction to cycling. I've been cycling for 3 months or so now and I find that when I'm on the road my only focus is the road and not getting hit by a car! The concentrated focus and the pain of excercise gives me some relief from my overactive/ self-destructive mind and actually generates a biochemical natural buzz which sometimes lasts for hours post a ride. I also surf and ocean swim when I can. I find the freezing water has a similar effect and often the fatigue post exertion makes my body (and hence mind) shutdown...

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hey @Kezbar29 


What worries you the most about being diagnosed with BPD? You said you don't want to be labelled like that, why this is the case? Have you starting going to a different psychologist since you stopped going to your old one? In my experience with health professionals I have found that sometimes you have to switch around a bit until you find that doctor or therapist that works for you. If you aren't going to a new psychologist yet, I really encourage you to keep looking around for that support, and know that it may take although it might take a while, you should be able to find a professional that is the right fit. 


Also, it is so great to hear that your exercising helps you get some relief! I personally have found that my dancing classes are the best way to relax for me, as I become completely focused on the task at hand and forget about everything happening around me. 


Thanks for sharing your experience! Smiley Very Happy 

Re: Personality disorder (borderline)

Hi @Gabi


Dancing is definitely something I'm looking to do as well! I'm just not sure what sort of dance i.e. salsa, jazz, hip hop etc. I love movement and I suppose excercise , especially excercise linked to music , can be therapeutic.


I suppose I can feel and switch between moods of vulnerability, insolence, feeling victimised, nervous, snarly, passionate , placid very easily and that I can also detach and split pretty easily. And in a weird sort of way because I'm so adept at adapting to different environments (I speak three languages and have lived between three countries in primarily 6 different cities) that my changeability, at least initially, gives me a weird feeling of security. Secure because I know that given any situation I sort of back myself to be able to adapt , at least initially. I tend to get uncomfortable once I get settled and comfortable. So being comfortable for me is a highly uncomfortable paradox.


In war, I shine ... in love I destroy (myself and the ones I love emotionally).


When I self-observe while with a psychologist sometimes I see myself being almost tickled by what they might be thinking and how they might arrive at statements. While i'm there to help myself I sometimes find it amusing to put myself in their mind and play with it. This ability to empathise towards one's own end (one might even call it manipulation) sort of defeats the purpose of actually seeking help. My other gripe about psychologists is the thought that nags at me that tells me, "This person really has no idea what i've been through and has probably never even come close to experiencing what I have so how on earth can he / she really think that they migh be beneficial for me." Particularly psychologists who are obviously very keen to help, they're the ones that would loathe me. The objective psychologist would be good for me, but then I'd do my best to make it un-objective for them, after which i'd then make them loathe me.


I feel like in every relationship I have, I create a Minotaurian labyrinthe where the entrance is beautiful,but at the end lies only the monster of self-contempt and self-loathing ready to devour everything that enters. I project this labyrinthe onto every meaningful pursuit or person I get emotionally involved with and then unconsciously self-sabotage it to further strengthen my inbuilt belief that I am unloveable. And it works. It works all the time.


It begins with unbelievebale promise, it ends in abject failure.


And it is the ultimate dissapointment ... repeated again and again and again and again and again ...


It's torturous