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young relationships

Okay so, I know I'm only young but I've been talking to this guy for almost 3 years, we dated for 1 year then broke up as he got into some bad things, we had a 2 month break but then got back together, I didn't tell anyone we got back together at all ( including my parents ) as no one liked him after the first time, we have now been back together for 6 months and it's been a secret the WHOLE time causing me a lot of stress, so lately I've found myself lashing out on him over nothing and just over reacting and crying all the time. He also has anger problems so he has been getting angry at me easily and talking to me like shit which really upsets me and I feel like I don't deserve it. I've tried not being with him but I love him too much I keep going back, I just need to find something that will help me stop over reacting and getting upset because it's hard enough keeping it a secret and I'm just so stressed....????

 

what can I do to help!!!!!

Re: young relationships

Hi @Erin01

 

Thank you for sharing what's been going on. Stress can definitely test a person and a relationship so I'm glad you've reached out and are looking for help Heart

 

Have you ever been to a counsellor before?

 

I'll tag some members as they might have some experience in this area

 

@scared01 @redhead @j95 @Brendos94 @rebecca-li

Re: young relationships

hi @Erin01 and welcome to RO, its nice to meet you Smiley Happy

im going to go out on a limb here and say i think alot of your stress is coming from your relationship being a secret. not being able to talk to others about what your going through or having trouble with will be taking quite a toll on you. 

do you mind me asking how old you are? i might be able to think of some more services to help you out more specific to your age

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: young relationships

sounds silly cause I'm so young,, I'm only 16 nearly 17 but no one has ever meant so much to me

Re: young relationships

Hey @Erin01, I completely understand how much your relationship is important to you. I agree with @scared01, it seems that your stress is caused by you trying to keep your relationship a secret. Am I on the right track here?

 

Like @Erin-RO has previously mentioned, have you seen a counsellor or other professional supports regarding this yet? 

_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: young relationships

rest assured @Erin01 nothing sounds silly to us. we arent judging you at all. 

 

would be willing to speak to your school counsellor or a trusted teacher to start with?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: young relationships

Don't really trust my school to be honest

Re: young relationships

Hey @Erin01, that's unfortunate to know that Smiley Sad. What about perhaps seeing a counsellor or other professional supports outside of school?
_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: young relationships

thats alwasy an option @Erin01 what do you think about seeing outside of school supports?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: young relationships

I agree with @scared01

may I suggest (only if you are ready, of course) maybe tell someone. if you truly love him than your friends will just have too accept him, they cant always dictate your life. you love who you love.

I speak from experience, I've kept past relationships secret and it got so stressful that I've had to end them. its not easy especially if you add the usual stress of ordinary life.

next suggestion, talk about this with him. not telling him about why you lash out etc is only going to open a rift between you two. there is nothing better in a relationship then complete honesty!

 

 

hope to be of assistance <3

*** “Úvórima ná aiquen quetë namárië írë i tië morna querë imma.” ***