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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:34 PM
Awesome question choice @redhead !
Is all conflict bad? Or can there be positives to conflict?
I don't think all conflict is bad. Some conflicts can definitely damage relationships, but others allow us to gain broader perspectives through finding out another person's beliefs or opinions. It can also allow us to expand on our own conflict resolution/assertiveness skills, by learning to negotiate and compromise with the other person.
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:28 PM
@ClCl maybe these relationships could be more acquaintences or people that you don't know very well (or don't see very often)?
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:21 PM
I'm sorry to hear that @Chrissyabd - sounds like this GR has come at a good time!
It sounds like we're all very much on the same page about conflict-free relationships (or lack thereof 
)
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:23 PM
@redhead would you like to pick the next question to discuss from the google doc? 🙂
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:27 PM
Is all conflict bad? Or can there be positives to conflict?
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:30 PM
Thanks @redhead 🙂
Is all conflict bad? Or can there be positives to conflict?
I think there can be benefits to conflicts. It can teach us how to be able to negotiate and reach agreements with others. It can help us understand ourselves better by investigating why we conflict with others and what we need to do to help resolve that.
But that depends on how both parties manage the conflict. Such as whether they are open minded to discuss things in a friendly manner, or if they are being manipulative and unreasonable.
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:28 PM
You can definitely learn things from conflict so that's a positive- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:32 PM
What sorts of things might be learned from conflict @j95 ?- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:40 PM
@CICIdifferent view points
Negotiation skills
that's all I can think of right now but I know there is a heap more,
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:44 PM
next one!
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:50 PM
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?
I most definitely have, although no specifics are coming to mind right now...
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:53 PM
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?
To elaborate on my answer, I've had quite a few conflicts that didn't go so well, or at least the way i wanted them too. I've learned a little from each of them! I think the biggest lesson i have learned is to try and understand the other person's point of view. Doesn't meant you have to like their point of view, but if you understand where you're coming from, i find it generally takes the heat out of the argument and also helps you figure out with the other person a way you both might be able to be happy!
Bonus Question: What other lessons have people learned from conflicts that didn't end so well?
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:58 PM
Bonus Question: What other lessons have people learned from conflicts that didn't end so well?I have definitely learnt that some people are very set in their ways and can't see another veiwpoint that isn't their own and that can definitely be difficult
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:58 PM
That's a really great point @Ben-RO . By looking at why they might have a certain perspective you can understand the person more, I find it also helps me to identify the underlying reasons I disagree with them, which can help me to explain my stance to the other person in a more constructive way.- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:55 PM
Just a peice of advice when it comes to conflict resolution... burning somebody's favourite item of clothing in a backyard bonfire and sending that person pictures of their favourite beanie alight is not nice and there are definitely alternatives. Just saying- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 9:01 PM
What other lessons have people learned from conflicts that didn't end so well?I have learned that sometimes I need to speak up after a conflict, to apologise and explain where I was coming from and that I didnt mean to offend the other person. Maybe also ask more questions to clarify the perspective of the other person.
Also, that sometimes you both need a bit of a breather first.
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 9:08 PM
What other lessons have people learned from conflicts that didn't end so well?
Something i have learned is that you have to be kind to yourself in a conflict and after too, conflict can be intense, and even if the other person doesn't mean to be hurtful, they can be. It's okay to take time to look after yourself, or not be okay with what someone else says or the need they are trying to meet in the conflict. That's often the case even if it might feel like you're being "unfair" or "selfish".
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 9:07 PM
yeah i definitely wanted things to end differently thats for sure
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 9:05 PM
@Chrissyabd what do you think about these things?
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:59 PM
There most certainly are alternatives @j95- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:58 PM
Yeaaaah @j95 that's like definitely not helpful is it!
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:52 PM
Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with someone which ended badly?Sure have
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:55 PM
It sounds like we have all had experiences with conflict!!!- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:44 PM
They are some really great things you can learn @j95 🙂 Thanks for listing those you could think of off the top of your head- Mark as New
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originally posted on 18-07-2016 8:24 PM
@Ben-RO I am curious, you were the one who said it might be possible to have a conflict free relationship. What do you see such a relationship to be like?
