Friends
Hi guys, I know this sounds like an overreaction (likely because it is) but I would like to share an experience I recently had and I would like to find out how to improve on and to see what I can do about it.
I had these friends who ive been friends with for 2 years. It was until I met another person who I became friends with. Their friend group conflicted with my old friend group and I was kicked out of my old friend group after a verbal exchange. Now for a while the new friend group felt good and all but they had a thing where they would ask me to share secrets and negative experiences or texts from my old friend group. I dont know why but I did not mind it as I at least felt included. Turns out they felt my venting was annoying so I was kicked out and I went back to the old friend group. Now the issue arises that I have had bad experiences with both groups. It was good and all for a while until one of the people in my old friend group (the original ones) went to the park where the friend group where I shared texts and things with showed the person my stuff because they screenshotted EVERY SINGLE TEXT. Now im kicked out of both and yes I do have another group who is much more caring and positive and I also acknowledge I have done much harm and been a generally bad person.
Any suggestions on what could I improve the next time? (If you read down here I personally thank you for reading my experiences)
Comments
Hey @Maize_Dinosaur,
It sounds like it’s been really tough, and I can hear how much you’re reflecting on everything. I actually think it's awesome how much self-awareness you have. 💛 It’s completely normal to want to feel included, but I get how the situation became complicated with both groups. It's good that you have a more caring group now that are kinder and more respectful towards you.
As @MagsMae suggested, I think setting boundaries with friendship groups moving forward may be a helpful strategy. Such as when it comes to venting or sharing personal things that are going on for you. It’s also okay to take a step back and reflect on whether some friendships are benefiting you or if they’re adding more stress to your life.
In the meantime, given how overwhelming this must all be to process, I'm wondering if there's anything you can do to take care of yourself? I find that small acts of self-care are helpful in grounding me in the moment. They're usually small things, like going on a walk outside, or reading a bit of my book.
Wishing you the very best moving forward. Please know that the ReachOut community will always be here to listen and support you! 😊
Hi there @Maize_Dinosaur
Firstly, thank you for being so open and vulnerable about what you've been going through. It’s really brave to reflect on these situations.
Friendships aren’t always easy, especially when you’re caught between conflicting groups. It sounds like you’ve been in a tough spot, and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. It’s understandable that you would want to feel included, but sometimes sharing too much or venting can have unintended consequences. For the future, it might be helpful to think about boundaries when it comes to what you share, especially with friends who may not fully understand the impact of those things.
Self-awareness is key, and acknowledging where you’ve made mistakes is an important part of personal growth. These negative experiences will help you grow and improve as a person. You don’t have to be perfect, I am sure we have all made mistakes in past friendships, myself included. You are definitely not a bad person 💛. That’s also great that you have a new, more caring group, which shows you’re already on the right path!
Take care, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. 🙂
Hello @Maize_Dinosaur 
I love that after this experience you've owned your mistakes and treated this as a learning opportunity for the future! 😊🙌
I wonder if you've spoken to either of the friend groups since the incident (the older one in particular) about the text sharing, and explained the things you've learned from this experience?
It's also great that you have a new group you can reach out to and hang out with. It sounds like you've found an environment where you're surrounded by care and positivity 😊
As shining_sun stated, it sounds like you've gained some self-awareness from this experience and that's a valuable tool to have! I think awareness of others is also an important tool, and it could be valuable to think about the impact that actions may have on others before doing things in the future.
Best wishes 💜
Hi @Maize_Dinosaur
Just wanted to start by saying that I don’t think you’re overreacting.
I’m really sorry that you’ve had negative experiences with both friend groups.
I personally don’t think you’ve been a generally bad person as you’ve said, there is nothing wrong with venting to friends, friends should be there to support you. They should also be having open communication and not be screenshotting texts or talking behind your back, that’s a pretty unkind thing to do. I am so glad that you have a kind and caring friend group, you deserve that.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself, if your friend group wanted to bring up things, they should have done it in a kind and respectful way and not behind your back.
In terms of improving for the future, we all make mistakes and it's okay to take what you have learned and apply it to the new group 🙂
Hey @Maize_Dinosaur !
I don't think that you're overreacting from what you've described; friendships can be hard work, especially with a larger group of friends, so I'm glad that your current friendships are a lot more positive and supportive! 🌟
In terms of asking for advice on how to improve, you've already shown in your response a great deal of self-awareness, which is a huge step in recognising our mistakes and growing from them. Another way to feel that self-improvement is something you've also mentioned- surrounding yourself with supportive people.
I noticed you mentioned that you feel like you have been 'generally a bad person,' and I wanted to remind you that it's important to acknowledge our actions but also to not let them define us! The mistakes you feel that you have made are opportunities for you to learn and grow in your current friend group (and again, your self-awareness is already showing this growth!)
Let me know what you think about this! This community is here for you if you want to chat more. 😊
I really dont have mich to reply with but thank you for your genuine response it means a lot!
