I think I’m asexual but I’m not sure
I guess writing this I hope to get a better understanding of what it is to be asexual, or perhaps even aromatic as a young woman of 16 years of age I am questioning my sexuality. I think I’m asexual. What lead me to believe this is the fact I find not interest in my friends obsessing over boys and getting crushes on them and obsessing over them even more. Like how they should text them, when they come into a room, etcetera, etcetera. In this way I get frustrated and angry at them because this is all they want to talk about, what that guy is doing and how gorgeous he is, is all that matter. However, what if I am just young and inexperienced, what if because I haven’t had a relationship or sex yet I don’t know if I have a sexual attraction to anyone. I’m so uninterested in boys and sex as of yet and I know someone who is asexual can find people attractive and enjoy sex and other stuff like that as well. Am I just confused and naive can anyone help me on the road to understanding myself and this sexuality?
Comments
Welcome to RO @Gellen and thank you for posting about this... That sounds like a pretty challenging experience, especially when you're trying to understand yourself and your sexuality. I think that everybody's journey in knowing themselves is very very different, for some they are sure of exactly who they are, almost from day dot and for others it takes time, experiences and seeking understanding to understand themselves. And while everyone walks a different path, just remember you are not alone, we are here to support you and there are some awesome resources you might also like to check out. Q-Life is an LGBTIQ counselling service who has a helpline, online chat and information guides.
Hi @Gellen
It's so brave from you that you talk about it! I'm "only" 15 but I think I know what you mean. When I read your text I saw many things I can totally relate to. I just don't feel attracted to anyone and I never have. But I think it's hard to be sure. Anyway, just in case you need to hear this right now: being asexual doesn't make you a less beautiful person (: I mean you can still care about people and that's whats important, right?So what do you think would help you to understand yourself better? Any idea?
Thanks for replying @musicaddict
To be totally honest with you I’m not sure what will help me. I mean I guess we are at that stage in our life where we are trying to find ourselves in this world. I guess in a way I want to find myself, understand myself. I need to find a way to sort out what I feel and I guess that’s the confusion of it all. I guess to understand it better I need to find people of my age experiencing or have experienced what I’m going through and can relate and hopeful pass advice, experiences, similarities and differences, to help me and to help other figure out who they are (not that they’ll do it straight away,). Like on the stepping stones to find your way not only for yourself but each other’s too. What advice or ideas can you give?
Hey @Gellen thank you for sharing with us here. In my opinion, however you end up identifying, exploring yourself and your sexuality is only ever a good thing and you can end up with a much deeper and more reflective understanding of who you are and what makes you tick 🙂
To share my experience, I identified as asexual for a while when I was 16-17, because I just felt that I wasn't interested in boys the way that my peers were. After a while, when I fell in love with a girl, I identified as bisexual. Now I'm 20 and to be honest I'm STILL questioning who I am, whether I'm bisexual or a lesbian. Questioning can be a long and confusing process. I would advise you to take as much time as you need to understand yourself - journalling was something that really helped me, as was reading about the experiences of other young people who are LGBTQA.
For some people labels are really important, and for other people, they're not. Ultimately a label such as asexual is there to help you to make sense of your identity, so if it's helpful to you to identify as asexual, that's totally okay! If your idea of who you are changes in the future, that's okay too. For some people, identities are fluid.
Whatever your sexual orientation and however unsure you are, know that you are welcome here 
@Gellen Well I don't really know what to do either (I tend to drown all my problems and feelings in music) but I think the most important thing is to keep in mind that you are perfect the way you are. Maybe it's best just to tell yourself that you're not alone. Do you have anyone you could talk to about stuff like sexuality? It's one thing to talk about it in a forum but it's something different if you talk to someone you know well and trust. You can't change who you are anyway so it might be good for you to have someone to help you accept and understand who you are (:
I always try not to make a big deal out of it tho. Not sure if that's a good way to deal with it but for me it definitely works. I mean why should there be anything wrong with being asexual? I hope I could help at least a little bit
I mean I feel I don’t really have anyone to talk to properly. I’ve talked of forums before and now on this but I have t had anyone I can really talk to about and feel like they’ll understand. Sure I can tell people but I feel to get an understanding I’ll need to talk to someone who has or is experiencing what I’m experiencing. Do you have anyone you can talk too?
