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Idk
Hey everyone, I’ve had a long month and I’m really just here to vent.
So start of school holidays were a month ago and I’ve already been back at school for 2 weeks. The last week of term I got back with my ex bf things were going well( I haven’t seen him in 2.5 months) the first day of school holidays I travel to a completely different city to see my dad for 2 weeks, now I don’t have a good relationship with my dad,I only talk to him for my 3yr old sister, he thinks I’m self centred, rude, spoiled, bratty and have no respect for him. I am none of those things but I do not have any respect for him whatsoever. He is a bad dad, who often tried to guilt trip me, yells at me, complains about doing fatherly things makes me uncomfortable for many reason some of those including my food intake, and boys. I play afl and had my teams first game of the season the last week of school holidays. He said no and kept making it out to be like I only wanted to go home early to see my bf when in reality I wanted to play a footy game and get out of there. I had to stay there till the very last day of school holidays ( a Sunday)
, I started school back up on the Wednesday and soon realised something was off, I talked to some girls and turned out my “friends” from last term were starting rumours about me saying I was trying to steal there bfs. For context I have been at this school not even 2 terms yet and I am just trying to make friends. I ignored the rumours and kept going with school. The next day my dad had to take my mum into hospital and I found out we had to move out for over a month, this day was also my bfs birthday so I called him to talk while I packed up all my stuff, my mum was still in hospital at this time. It’s been 2 weeks and I have barely heard from my bf he claims he is only busy with army stuff ( he doesn’t cadets 1 maybe 2 times a week ). I was understanding n moved one. The week my mom was in hospital i was heavily leaned on to take care of my brothers. Now because of this I haven't been able to get to footy training in over a month. Mum got out of the hospital last Wednesday and ever since I’ve been angry at her, she keeps budding herself into things and doing stuff like that, now i feel extremely guilty for what I’m about to type but i enjoyed mum being in the hospital i felt lighter in a sense. It’s been 5 days and my mood and attitude have shot up every time she speaks to me, its been 5 days and I already have had my phone taken off me for telling my mum I won’t clean up the mess she left in my room 4 weeks ago and that her and my brothers can do it.and now she is acting all baby
now back at school I’m friends with this guy who does cadets with my bf, this guy has a twin brother as well, I was hanging out with them at sport and everyone started accusing me of cheating on my bf, as well as the fact i bruise easily and i swear i cant see ( exaggerated) i ran into a sharp corner of a wall and now i have a bruise under my eye NO ONE HIT ME, every one is saying I’m being abused.
I am so done and tired this is only a little more then half that has happened this month
Comments
I am sorry to hear that this last month has not been going well for you, both between school and home.
I am sorry to hear about the relationship with your dad durning the school holidays, I know how lonely can that make things. Do you have another any other family members who you could reach out to? I have found that sometimes having support from a family member can help, in these sort of situations.
I completley understand about feeling gulity when you are venting your emotions, espically when it is about loved ones. And while it may be easier said than done, please try and remember that your emotions and what you are feeling are 100% valid.
Please do reach out to Headspace or Kids Helpline. They are fantastic resources
Sorry for the late reply. Yes actually I've reached out to my bio dads mum and she is really helping with how uncomfortable i feel, my mum and step dad help as well.
thank you
I am so sorry to hear about everything that's been going on recently, but thank you for reaching out to vent because sometimes all we need is a safe space to get things off our chest and be heard. It sounds like you've been having a bit of a tough time at home and at school, which I can imagine would be very difficult.
It seems like AFL is such a great escape for you and you not being able to go has been really hard, as our hobbies are great as they help get things off our mind. Hopefully you can go back to training soon!!! I know this can be hard sometimes, but if you've got a friend at AFL you can maybe arrange something where you can get picked up and you guys can go together. You can also try talking to your coach and see if they can help you getting to AFL as at the moment, this is hard.
As for the rumours at school, what does your boyfriend think? Have you guys discussed this together because ultimately nothing that anyone says should matter as it's not their relationship, so why should they be so considered. Them making rumours could be because they are jealous so it's important not to get their comments into your head.
Remember, there will always be people trying to tear you down, so it's important not to get consumed by it all.
Sorry for the late reply, thank you.
AFL is a great escape for me but I've been sick and live 1.5 hours away from my team atm. So i resorted to running where i did well 5th in cross country, made it to the second level and came 5th again and now i have a chance at going to the next level.
Im not sure what my bf thinks, he knows the guy my school is saying I'm dating I believe he thinks its funny. He also thinks its nice that I'm friends with his friends so he doesnt seem to care
It sounds like you have been going through a very difficult time! Props to you for reaching out on here!
I'm sorry to hear what you have been experiencing with your dad. Feeling unwanted and uncomfortable in your own home without having much choice of leaving is an awful situation to be in. I can see how that would make you feel many things including anger and disliking towards him.
it sounds like you have also taken a lot of responsibility on from your family. This can be very draining on your life, when you are trying to tackle school, friends, schoolwork, family and caring responsibilities. How are you coping with this?
I am also sorry to hear what is happening at school. Having rumours spread about you is just an awful feeling that no one should experience. Especially after having recently moved to this school, changing schools alone can be tough enough.
I hope you are able to talk to someone about this like a friend or family member or even a teacher or principal. Otherwise don't hesitate to reach out to support services like headspace. What you are going through is a very tough experience.
Sorry for the late reply I've been busy haha,
I'm copy okay I guess I'm snappy and drain rn. Mum and dad are still relying on me all the time, i had to baby sit my brother for 9 hours on Saturday and we just found out we cant move back into our house for up to 5 more months
im seeing a psychologist atm but she is leaving so i have to get a new one she is really helping
Hey @Goldenrod_Ferret,
I can see that the past month has been really tough for you. With so many things going on, it's understandable that you’re feeling tired and angry. I can hear that your Dad makes you uncomfortable and speaks poorly about you. This must be really tough to experience and I imagine the school holidays must have been pretty lonely. Have you spoken to anyone about your Dad, like a mental health professional or any other family members?
I can see that you’ve also been experiencing bullying at school. Having people spreading rumors about you is not okay and isn’t something anyone should have to put up with. It must take a lot for you to go to school each day knowing you may be faced with these rumors. It can be helpful to speak to teachers and the principal at the school about the bullying and rumors. I'm curious about whether you have considered speaking to a teacher or principal about what you've been going through?
It's clear just how much you have going on at home and at school right now. It's understandable if this might be impacting your mental health also. Do you feel like this is taking a toll on your recovery? I can also see from previous posts that you have some professional mental health support. Are you speaking to your mental health professional about your parents and what is happening at school?
Also, if you ever might want someone to talk to one-on-one, I encourage you to connect with Kids Helpline. We also have some resources on coping with bullying that you might find helpful
Sorry for late reply, yes I've talked to my psychologist. I've spoken to a few people about the rumours, I'm happy to say there are fewer and fewer.
i feel like it is, i had urges but didnt do anything and spoke to my psychologist but then bottled it all back up and i have had a few break downs in the last week
Hey @Goldenrod_Ferret,
Thank you for responding and answering the questions I had asked. I really appreciate it as it helps me to better understand what is going on for you. I am really glad to hear that you’ve spoken to your psychologist and relieved to know that there are fewer rumours!
With your mum and dad still relying on you, finding out that you are unable to move back home for 5 months, and your psychologist leaving, it is no wonder that you’re feeling drained and snappy. I can see that you also had urges and breakdowns in the last week, which would have been incredibly tough for you! I am interested to know how you managed the urges you had? And what do the breakdowns you experience look like for you?
I also want to acknowledge the resilience and courage that you’ve shown for reaching out and seeking support! You should be so proud of yourself!
Sorry for late reply, rumours are back as i told the wrong friend about a boy I met. But i tend to use ice with urges or listen to music.
It depends on the breakdowns wether they are from anger, sadness or anxiety. I tend to have silent breakdowns a few times a week where my heart races, my breathing is heavy and i space out and or panic
Hey @Goldenrod_Ferret,
Thanks again for responding and clarifying the questions I had asked. I am relieved to hear that using ice and listening to music can be helpful strategies for you to resist urges.
It also sounds really exhausting for you to be experiencing these breakdowns a few times a week. I am curious if you’ve spoken to your psychologist about the breakdowns you experience?
Yes! I do CBT with her to help control them although I have just got my 3rd psychologist over the last year so I do expect to continue that