So I have depression.

I mean I haven't been officially diagnosed, but my GP, psychologist, my parents and me have been throwing the word around like a hot potato. It's been progressively bad over the last few weeks and I just need to ramble.

Ugh. UGHGHHGHGH. I'm just not really thinking or feeling or anything and I want to do stuff but I don't want to do anything at all. I've spent a lot of time just sort of lying around doing nothing (or crying lol. I mean not lol. It just makes me uncomfortable and when I'm uncomfortable I add a lol. Lol.).

I feel really bad about feeling really bad, too. Like mum and dad are really worried and they put a lot of effort into making me feel better and I feel super guilty. I also feel guilty that I even have such a great support network (which is so stupid - I think when I'm feeling okay feeling guilty about it turns into feeling grateful for it, but I'm not feeling okay). And I'm missing a tonne of school, and I've already missed a tonne of school this year and I feel like I'm letting my friends and my teachers down - especially my teachers, they've been so good about managing me being away, and every time I am away I feel bad about it.

Ugh. So that's where I'm at. I'm going to try go to school for a bit tomorrow. Hope y'all are well.