Struggling
I’m so depressed that I can barely get out of bed, I barely go to work, barely eat. I’ve lost all motivation. When I do things it either feels forced or like a simulation. My partner said that my poor mental health is affecting his mental health. Hearing that hurt a lot but I’m not mad at him. So today I’ve bought groceries to make him dinner, I cleaned the house, did the laundry and when it cools down I’ll go and weed the garden. I keep pushing down all negative feelings, I’m forcing myself to be okay but I don’t know how long I can keep it up for. I can barely pay rent so I can’t afford therapy or medication. I just feel really stuck. I think work is going to fire me for using so much leave but I used it all because my dad has cancer. I just have a lot going on and I don’t know how to balance it all, I want to be able to do normal things like go to work without crying about it beforehand or having to force myself to go.
Comments
Hey @TiredAlien,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time at the moment. I can hear you're doing your very best to be there for both yourself and those around you. 💙 This can be challenging when we're not feeling our best and disconnected from the world around us. Especially when experiencing a lot of stress and challenges across our everyday life.
As many others in this chat have already mentioned, I also want to acknowledge how much courage it has taken for you to reach out. This is no easy feat and you've already shared a part of your experience with the ReachOut community. Also, I would encourage you to look through the helpful resources provided by @Marimo-RO, as they can help to support you during this tough time.
Please know that the ReachOut community, which also provides the Peer Chat service, will always be here to listen to you and support you. 💛
I'm sending you hugs and wishing you the very best moving forward.
Hi @TiredAlien, thank you for sharing. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now so I really appreciate you reaching out to the community. I can see that you’re trying your best to balance everything in your life and I understand how this is affecting your mental health. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with depression since you were young and that it has gotten worse recently. I want to let you know that you’ve been really really strong for going through these challenges and for seeking help. It can feel really isolating and it can be difficult to reach out, but you did and I want to commend you for that.
I wish you all the best and hope things get better soon. @Marimo-RO has provided great resources and I encourage you to check them out. You are not alone in this, and the community will always be here for you.
Sending you lots of hugs and love 💙
Hey @TiredAlien ❤️
Welcome to ReachOut, and I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with your depression.
It sounds like you're going through a lot, too much for anyone to handle all at once. I'm so glad you took the step to reach out and use this forum as an outlet for your stress, I know it is much easier to push down all the negative feelings and force yourself to be okay.
Just know that you aren't alone, ReachOut has a PeerChat service that operates from Mon-Thurs 3 pm - 8 pm, Fri 1 pm - 5 pm AEST. If you feel like you need someone to talk to one on one, that option is always there.
Do you mind me asking how long you've been feeling this way?
~ Stego
I’ve been struggling with depression since I was 11. I think I’m struggling
more now because I have a lot of things going on right now like my parents
divorcing, my dad has cancer, I might lose my job and I have bills and rent
to pay and I have to take care of my younger brother. --
Sincerely,
Hi @TiredAlien
Welcome to the ReachOut Youth Community! Thank you for your courage in sharing what's been going on for you. I can see there's been a lot of change going on for you. Feeling depressed and like you have to continue suppressing how you truly feel can be a lot of pressure for anyone.
I can see that you continue to do your best to balance both you and your partner's needs and take care of your younger brother. Feeling stuck in terms of your next steps due to living costs is natural and I want to let you know that you're not alone. On top of everything, supporting your dad through cancer can understandably make things even more difficult to process.
You've mentioned that you're worried your workplace is going to fire you for using leave and I'm wondering if you've had a chance to talk to someone at work about what has been going on for you?
I want to let you know that taking leave is healthy to do and it's clear that you've been needing the leave you've taken given how distressing things have been for you. A GP can support you through both the depression and the worries about you keeping your job.
I see that you've shared that you have depression since a young age, have you been able to talk to your GP or treating clinician about things becoming more challenging?
I also wanted to share some resources that may be helpful to you. Canteen is a free mental health support service that provides free counselling and individual support for young people impacted by cancer. Mindspot is another service that can offer free and confidential access to psychological care.
We will also be sending you an email to check in on you further so please keep an eye out!
