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TW Coping and Suicidal Thoughts

Hi how is everyone? Did everyone enjoy there Christmas. 

I’m not feeling great tonight though have some pretty intense suicidal thoughts, but I’m safe at the moment. Life is just so hard and I’m feel everyone is better off without me. I’m just a burden on everyone. I just wish I could get better nothing seems to be work I try so much and just don’t seem to be improving I’m just getting worse and worse. I just wish something would change I need something to improve because I don’t know how much longer I can go on with this.

 

I even contacted the Mental Health crisis team and they didn’t help at all they just said to keep doing what I’m doing and I’ll be fine. When I’m clearly not and need help and support.. but I have my aunt who has been a great support and helped me develop a safety plan on Saturday so I am safe. 

I also know what services I can contact if things get worse. 

Thanks I hope it’s okay I just needed to vent about how I’m feeling. I just want to reiterate that I am safe and will stay safe today okay.

 

Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 26-12-2022 05:58 PM

Comments

 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 26-12-2022 06:54 PM

Hi @Red_Flamingo

 

I've had a lovely Christmas, I hope you have enjoyed yours too, even though you're having a difficult time. 

 

Thanks for letting us know that you're safe and you have a safety plan in place. We hear you, it's frustrating to keep trying different things and feeling as though you aren't getting better. It sounds like you're doing all you can - you're reaching out to family and services for extra support. 

It also might help to try and focus on some things that you enjoy doing or things that you are doing well. This might take your mind off negative thoughts which we all know can create a cycle. You might enjoy challenging yourself to try a new hobby. 

 

Just so you know, I've replied to your email.

 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 26-12-2022 08:14 PM

Hi@Taylor-RO

 

Yeah I'm trying to do different things. I just feel so lost with everything go on. I feel a bit scared with what's going on and what I could do, but hope it doesn't get to that. 

 
 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 26-12-2022 10:23 PM

Hey @Red_Flamingo

 

That is really great that you are trying to do different things - trying is the main part. Thinking about dying can be quite confronting and scary but it is important to keep reminding yourself of your plan and the support available, if you feel like things are getting worse. Sometimes emotions are like waves that you need to ride out until they pass Heart

 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 27-12-2022 07:24 AM

Hi@Taylor-RO

 

Yeah okay I will. 

Also another thing that's happened lately my mum found out about my self harm. She got a bit upset and cried, but it didn't go as badly as I thought. She did ask if I can stop which I said isn't a very helpful thing to say. I did down play it a bit though. 

 
 
 
 
 
Dem--RO
Dem--ROPosted 27-12-2022 11:22 AM

Hi @Red_Flamingo,

 

We're sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, and really want to encourage you to call Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800), Life Line (13 11 14), or Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), as speaking with a professional Counsellor can be very helpful when people are struggling.

 

As a side-note, we did need to edit parts of your post to better align with the Community Guidelines around talking safely about suicide on the forums.

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 27-12-2022 12:08 PM

Yeah okay@Dem--RO sorry about that. 

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 28-12-2022 05:52 PM

Hey anyone up for a chat tonight? 

Hope everyone is doing okay.

 
 
 
 
 
Walter-RO
Walter-ROPosted 28-12-2022 11:00 PM

Hey Red_Flamingo

 

Hope youre doing okay also and have been able to do something nice for yourself today. What did you get up to today? Have you been able to watch tv, practice ballet or read a nice book?

 

Hope you can go some rest too for the rest of the night.

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 31-12-2022 08:08 AM

Hi @Walter-RO 

 

I’ve been working everyday since Tuesday my day off will be Monday hahaha. 

Today though I don’t work till 1pm so I will probably go for a walk, read my book and maybe do stuff around the house. I can’t do ballet anymore at it has finished for the year, but I’m looking into dance school in the new area I am moving to for university. 

A good couple of shows if you haven’t already is Bump and Jack Ryan they are really good both very different from each other and they both are on season three. 

Overall this week has been up and down it seems I can be distracted enough with work and things, but once I come home from work and don’t have anything to do it’s when my depression seems to be the worst. Let’s hope 2023 will be a better year with less sadness I have to much to do with my life to leave this world. 

Thanks for the chat hope your doing well. 

 
 
 
 
 
Courtney-RO
Courtney-ROPosted 31-12-2022 06:36 PM

Hey @Red_Flamingo It sounds like it's been such a busy week with all the work you've been doing! How did you find starting later today?

 

Do you have any exciting plans for your day off on Monday? It sounds like you deserve to do something nice for yourself after such a long week. 

 

That sucks that ballet has finished for the year, I know how much you've enjoyed it (and we've loved hearing about it!). Looking into dance schools sounds really exciting though! Have any jumped out at you at all? 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have been finding that your depression is worse at night, that sounds really hard. During the day we have all these different distractions to keep our minds busy. But at night there is less to distract us, which just means that we start to notice these heavy feelings a lot more. Is there something that you might be able to do before bed that you find relaxing, but that might still be distracting enough? I've always found a good book to be helpful here, or sometimes even a short game, something to tire me out. Is there anything you can think of that might help you?

 

Just a quick little note to let you know that we had to edit your post a little to remove your location. We always want to make sure our community members are safe 😊

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 31-12-2022 07:00 PM

Hey@Courtney-RO

 

I have found one that looks good, but I will have to wait and see how much it it, the time the classes are on and how to get there and if it's the right level for me. 

Work has been okay not very busy do more time to do nothing hahaha. 

I don't know what will happen monday it depends on how tomorrow goes with my depression and suicidal thought if you get what I mean without me saying to much. 

I do like to read my book though so that does help distract me a little sometimes. Things just seem to be to overwhelming lately. Like just sucks so much I can't believe I'll be starting the year tomorrow depressed. 

 
 
 
 
 
Courtney-RO
Courtney-ROPosted 31-12-2022 10:55 PM

2023 is a new year and you never know what exciting things are to come. Have you got anything planned for the new year at all?

I'm sorry that things have been so overwhelming for you though @Red_Flamingo I hope you know that we're all here to support you, no matter what. Is there a self-care strategy or technique that helps you get through these really hard moments? What have you found helpful in the past?

If you feel like things are getting too hard, we encourage you to reach out to a helpline like Kidshelpline or Lifeline

We're all here for you 💜

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 01-01-2023 06:58 AM

I suppose I have uni, moving to a new state and meeting new people, but I just don't see the point in any of that. 

I have heaps of strategies so I'll be at work till 5pm today and after that I will be having a chat with my Aunt, go for a walk, read my book and maybe watch some tv with my mum and dad. So hopefully if I do all that it will keep me safe. I also made a really solid safety plan so if things get worse I know where I can go for support. 

Thank you though@Courtney-RO

 
 
 
 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 01-01-2023 10:45 PM

Hi @Red_Flamingo

 

It sounds like you have a lot coming up in 2023! Some new beginnings ❤️

 

We are so glad to hear that you have heaps of strategies to use and have made a solid safety plan. It really sounds like you are doing your best to manage the ups and downs, well done! 

 
 
 
 
 
Red_Flamingo
Red_FlamingoPosted 01-01-2023 10:50 PM

Hi@Taylor-RO

 

Yeah hopefully I'm just happy I've nearly made it through the day. This morning I didn't think I would, but I'll come out on the other side tomorrow so start the year off fresh. 

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