How to talk safely about suicide on the forums
Having thoughts about suicide is something a lot of people experience at some point in their life. It’s a painful place to be, and in that moment of pain, it can be hard to know what to do.
It’s really important to talk about these thoughts when we have them, and to get the right help. The right help means getting help in the right place, and at the right time.
Talking safely about suicide online is important because:
- Talking about suicide is brave, important, and a way for people to get support
- talking about suicide online can be upsetting for others and needs special consideration in order to keep everyone safe
This means that we need to know how to talk about suicide to encourage point 1, and avoid point 2.
So how do we talk about suicide?
If you come to the forums with thoughts of suicide, or strong feelings of hopelessness, take a minute before you type up a post to consider:
- What do I need right now? (Do I need to talk to someone? Do I need to feel heard? Do I need to find a way to stay safe?)
- Where is the best place for me to get what I need? Is the forum the best place or is there a more suitable service eg: a crisis service?
- If the forum is the best place, how could posting on the forum impact other people who read or engage with the post?
- How can I communicate this information safely? Do I need to change parts of my language, or add something that tells people I am safe?
If you reflect on the above questions, and choose to share your thoughts of suicide on the forum, make sure your posts follows these guidelines:
- Use safe language to describe suicidal thoughts, making sure not to include any details such as method, or means
- Use a Trigger Warning in the title of your post by putting TW in the subject line
- Make sure that in your post, you confirm that you are safe from these thoughts and able to stay out of serious harm.
- Include in your post the steps or strategies you are using to reduce distress, or that you are accessing crisis/non- ReachOut supports. - make sure you take these steps.
- If you are unsure what steps to take to reduce distress or stay safe, ask the forum for ideas, and be open to these ideas.
Why is talking online about suicide such a big deal?
Talking on a forum, is very different to talking to someone IRL, or in a private space for a few key reasons:
- We are not moderated 24/7 and can’t give you support immediately.
- We are a peer support service that relies on other young people to offer their insights, experience and wisdom. If you are in a crisis, you need support from an appropriate service trained in supporting people in crisis.
- Anything posted online is easily misinterpreted or misunderstood. It can be hard to clarify what someone means.
- Talking in person allows for communication through body language, and ongoing ‘real-time’ conversation. It's often easier to understand what someone means, when you talk to them face to face, or even over the phone. We have thousands of people reading the forums every day that could be impacted by reading posts about suicide - it could cause them distress or leaving them worried.
We may remove or edit posts if the post:
- Makes us or others worried that you will act on suicidal thoughts
- Expresses suicidal thoughts without confirming safety, steps to reduce distress, or access to crisis/non- ReachOut supports.
- Is unclear or vague about safety, if there is no response from member within an hour of initial post, OR if response does not confirm safety.
- May be harmful to the community
It is always up to staff discretion whether a post is harmful to the community and needs to edited or removed. We may also need to introduce time restrictions or pauses on your access to the forums, if we feel it will help you to build up your support network outside of ReachOut. We will always email you about his process.
We know this stuff is hard, so we are here to support and help you!
What next?
- Orygen have a comprehensive guide on how to talk safely about suicide HERE if you want to delve a little deeper. It is a world-first guide to talking about suicide online, and absolutely worth a read.
- If you are having thoughts of suicide head over here for some resources and information.
- It's a good idea for everyone to have a safety plan for when you're feeling overwhelmed - the app BeyondNow, is a great place to do this.
- If you need support now for thoughts of suicide, contact one of these supports.
- If you read something on the forum that is triggering for you, read this post on what you can do about it.
Comments
Hey they warn you not to talk about suicide without prior guidance because you can make the situation worse by not understanding how it behaves in people.
Hi @Michi567
Thanks for joining ReachOut. I had to edit your post to remove the link because sharing links is advised against in our community guidelines (see them here). Also, I edited out the term disorder.
Lastly, as per our Community Guidelines, ReachOut forums are only for users within Australia. It looks like you are an international user located in Europe - is that correct? If so, we will have to deactivate your account within 24 hours. One of the reasons we do not allow international users on our forums is because we cannot support the user the same way we do for Australian users. This is because we have limited knowledge of the services in your country, among other things.
Even if we do deactivate your account, you will still be able to access to our forum as a guest and read articles on our website - just remember that the linked services might not be accessible to you in Europe. I've linked you a list of potential services that we have created for international users like yourself here.
I have a question...
What about people who may not be necessarily experiencing suicidal thoughts but may just be feeling super low and unmotivated with life? That is, they lack the motivation/will power to deal with life's challenges, but a fixation on death or "leaving" is not part of the picture. What should we say/do then? I find this often occurs in times of severe burnout, repeated disappointment, or even during periods of seasonal depression. Hope that makes sense.
Any help would be appreciated!
Hey @Tay100!
That's a really good question, and thank you for asking! As long as you are respectful and considerate of our other users, you can use the forums to talk about anything you want to. Feelings of being low or unmotivated are really common, and lots of users have experienced this, and I am sure many would be more than happy to share these experiences, and even talk about some of the things which have been helpful in letting them feel better 
It is a really good action to take when one needs to speak out and up. As that takes a different kind of strength that some people are not sure about yet.
IDK why but this just made me happy bahaha im weird 🙂
Thanks again for putting so much effort into this
@annabethxchase I'm so so glad this has helped. 
I know this is such a tough area and there is often confusion about what is ok to post what what isn't. Hopefully this post helps people to feel more confident when sharing their suicide thoughts - is there anything you think needs further clarification or discussion?
The two main things we want to emphasise is that
- talking about suicide is brave and important.
- talking about suicide online can be upsetting for others and needs special consideration in order to keep everyone safe
Thanks @annabethxchase.
I just want to add into this thread, that if you ever read something that does trigger you on the forum, head over to this post to read what you can do about it.
