- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Mute
- Printer Friendly Page
TW : Struggling with wanting to take drugs
Hi...so this is my first time here...
I was raised with my father, half sister and half-brother...all were addicted to weed, my father to ice, meth and more...
I've always been strongly opposed to drugs and alcohol, and I mean so strongly opposed...
But for a month now, that's changed...i can't get the thoughts out of my head...i literally go out walking and can't stop imagining finding a dealer and smoking weed...I've been struggling with major depression and DID for years now...i used to want to SH and end my life...but those have kind of gone.... and been replaced... I've seen what drugs do to people, i don't want that to happen to me...but i don't even want to fight it, i know if i find drugs i won't be able to stop...
I don't even know how to find drugs, literally, I've always steered clear...and no one would suspect me, the quiet, anxious kid...i already cover myself head to toe...
Ontop that...im not eating...i feel flat, deflated and always sleep...
Comments
Hey @OctoOctober 
Thank you for sharing how you're feeling at the moment, it sounds like you're feeling really anxious about the thoughts you're having about drug use. I'm wondering if anything happened to change your thoughts about drugs in the last month?
Having experienced family members who struggled with substance use, I can totally understand why these feelings would be really upsetting for you. Is that something you still experience with family members? SMART Recovery have some great resources and supports for people in that situation that might be helpful to check out 🙂
You've also mentioned your struggles with major depression and DID, is this something you currently have any support with? From a GP, psychologist, counsellor etc?
I've also sent you an email, so keep your eye out for that too 🙂
I don't really know...i know the same day i stopped self-harming is when the thoughts arose
None of my family i live with now still uses drugs...if i was still with my dad i would have plenty already...
And yeah i see camhs and a gp...
Thanks for repying @OctoOctober I'm really glad to hear your family situation seems a bit safer for you now. How do you feel about being away from your dad?
It's interesting that the thoughts of drug use came up on the same day you stopped self-harming. I'm wondering if finding something else to use as a distraction might help? There are a whole list of suggestions here. Do you think you'd want to try any of these?
Fantastic news that you have support from your GP and CAMHS, would you feel comfortable letting them know how you're feeling at the moment?
It feels much better...although i feel unwanted by my mother...
And yeah i could try out some..and yeah im going to
Hey @OctoOctober , that's great to hear that you feel comfortable reaching out to your GP and CAMHS to discuss how you're feeling, hopefully they'll be able to offer you with some extra support. I'm sorry to hear that things are still rough at home but I'm glad that things feel better than they used to living with your dad.
You mentioned in your original post that you haven't been eating and that you've been sleeping quite a bit. How are things going there? When you're feeling low, it can be so tiring and difficult to take care of the basics like eating. The best advice I was given about eating when you feel depressed or down is to eat things that you like, so then you're doing something good for your body and there's a small positive moment in the day to look forward to. Is there anything you really love to eat?