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TW: Turning 18 and moving on with life
Hey people
Just wanting to get this off my chest, Ive been noticing my friends have been saying and acting in ways I just dont find funny or nice anymore like saying certain words that are just not nice. However, I feel like in a way they have always been my friends and they love me regardless but a part of me is saying move on once school is all over and I feel compelled to listen to that voice because they might have been influencing me and how I behave which I want to improve as I tend to get attracted to people quickly all it takes is a week and I'm sometimes unsure on where I stand with me and my emotions which Ive always hated about me because it makes me seem or feel insecure and that just sucks what I want to do is unfollow all my friends on social media, playstation and in real life and start fresh with friends I will make in University such as in clubs or even at work anyways thats just the start
I also have a habit of overthinking and just wonder if Ill even find someone because somedays I just feel this crushing sense of loneliness that not even friends can help though it does eventually go away I hate the fact that it comes back though I did have online relationships in one of them I was hurt as I got cheated on and I was used for my kindness as she lied about very important things which out of respect for her I will not disclose here but it did hurt me in the end
anyways shes 13 and Im 17 and because of my situation here and my age I want to move out and live in a shared University accommodation with other kids to just be myself and go out and go to parties but I fear for the safety of my parents and their health as they are getting older and Im afraid something bad could happen to them whilst I'm out working or studying so I really dont know what to do in this situation
anyways those are the issues that have been on my mind for the past year and counting I just want to be free of these issues but life has its ways who knows also by the way sorry for the no grammar I just finished school and Im not in the mood for things like full stops or commas thanks for the read!
Comments
Hey @SpaceBanana22 thanks for reaching out. It sounds like there are a lot of parts of your life that are difficult for you to handle at the moment. I also decided to drop quite a few friends post-high school because I recognised they were unhealthy and draining on me. I didn't quite unfollow/block them, but kind of just rejected most chances to meet up until they figured it out. I decided to keep a few friends too- I let them know why I wasn't talking to the others anymore. One person agreed with me that they didn't like them either funnily enough. It sounds like you are very prepared to make new friends at uni- do you have any plans for how you might occupy yourself until then? I'm wondering if it would help your loneliness to keep in contact with your friends until then, just in a less taxing way?
Thanks for sharing your story with us @SpaceBanana22 - it takes a lot of courage to reach out for support. I just wanted to mention that we edited your post in line with our community guidelines as some content might be distressing for people reading.
Sounds like you're going through a lot right now and I just wanted to say I think you're so insightful in the way you're willing to face the hard stuff in your life and make plans for change.
I think it's a really rare quality to be able to do that - though it doesn't mean it's easy of course.
Porn addiction isn't easy as it's so accessible for people. It sounds like it's something you'd really like to change so I'm wondering if there any things you've found help with it?
I'm not sure if it helps, but your psychologist should be bound by confidentiality even though you're under 18. If you're not sure, do you think you could ask them about the limits of confidentiality, and whether it's any different because you're under 18?
It sounds like you feel they could be a helpful person to talk to, and it's a shame to have to wait if it's not necessary.
Re: your family and your sister, I'm really sorry to hear about all you're all going through.
I'm not sure if it's helpful, but the Butterfly Foundation is a great resource for people with eating disorders and their loved ones - they also run support groups for family and friends of people with eating disorders in case that's helpful.
I hope it helped to be able to get things off your chest - we're here for you.