When will they stop?
I have been touched inappropriately by a boy in my year level (year 7) here is my story of when him and his friends tried to fight me last week.
I was sitting under a tree out on the oval (I hang out there everyday with my friends) and I was standing up and leaning against the tree when a boy who i don't really know confronted me and kept asking if I had a problem. I had an idea for what he was talking about but I acted dumb and pretended to not know what he meant. I kept saying "what" and "what are you talking about?" and "I really don't know what you mean". He kept looking over at his friend (year 7) as though he sent him to talk to me. He asked me about 10 times what my problem is when my best frineds yelled at him to leave me alone and to go away. Soon after a bunch of people who are friends with the boy who touched me came over. they started having a go at mainly me but they were nasty to my friends as well. E*** and T** (T** is the boy who touched me) threatened to punch me and beat me up and E*** got in my face and pushed me with his shoulder. T** kept saying that he's going to punch me and hurt me really bad. I kept telling everyone to go away but no one seemed to have heard me. I started to feel pressured and I tried thinking of ways to get rid of them when a teacher came over and tried to separate them and she was telling E*** to watch his language because he had just finished calling me a cunt and a bitch and some other names. The group didn't leave until the teacher brought over the wife of the principal and she told them all to go away and she sent a few students up to the office. and some other people also went up to the office.. The teachers left and I was really upset and I was anxious about what a bitch of a deputy principal might say to me if I was told to talk to her because she isn't very helpful when I have a problem that needs sorting out. Then when the bell went, I collected my bag and I went to class.
E*** and T** were both suspended and they have been gone for 5 days but they were back at school today. Yay. Anyway, I am now allowed to wear make-up (I am only 13) to school. I am trying to wear as much as I am allowed to put on because everyone is calling me deaf (I am hearing impared so I have to wear hearing aids), fat, ugly, stupid and mentally impared. I feel confident in make-up and I am only allowed to wear minimal mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick. It is maily year nine boys who are threatening to rape me and since I have started wearing make-up to school, boys are now getting other ideas and that doesn't include the words "just friends". I have had five boys ask me out since I have started wearing make-up (since last Monday) and I have to say no because I am not allowed to date until I have a degree and I have finished university (I'm only year 7 remember). I am a very strong Christain and so is my family and I really want to date because I want something to look forwards to when I go to school. I don't know when this will stop. What do I do?
Comments
Hi @mlang166 I'm so sorry you are going through this.
It's NEVER acceptable for people to make someone feel unsafe or to touch someone without permission and I'm really worried about what's going on at your school.
You describe a couple of teachers being involved in this situation which is a good start but I can't work out of they know the full story.
Have you told the Deputy Principle, or maybe a teacher you like. that you were touched by a boy in your year?
School is never perfect and there will always be yuck people in the world BUT you have a right to be protected when you're there and if you don't feel protected or safe you need to let them know.
Is there a teacher or staff member in the school you like talking to?
Or your parents, an adult or someone you trust out of school that you could talk to?
Hi, thanks for replying. (oh, my parents know about everything) i have my grandparents at my house from NZ (they arrived Friday) but they don't know what has been happening and i have had enough of repeating everything that has happened- really, i have lost count of how many times i have said what happened. i appreciate the support everyone is giving me but i am now tempted to tell the police (without my parents knowing) what has been going on at school. i don't want to but everyone is suggesting that i go to the police but i can't because my parents have already said no. mum says that if the boys try to fight me again THEN she will get the police involved but i am terrified that i will get hurt if the boys try to fight me again. the one that pushed me (E***), is VERY aggressive and he has recently had a punch-up with a yr 9 boy (E*** is really short and the yr 9's are really tall) and the yr 9 boy was in hospital for a week. i am scared that in order for my parents to do something, the boys (or anyone else) will have to hurt me really bad. i don't know what to do.
Hey @mlang166 I edited your post to remove a person's name for privacy reasons 🙂
Your situation sounds really tough. It's good your parents do know everything. It sounds really scary to live in the fear of getting hurt at school. Can you talk to a counselor about this and see if there are any strategies you can use to feel a bit calmer at school? You can try Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800.
I also found this website https://www.lawmail.org.au/verification where you can send an email for legal advice. There's more information on bullying here: http://www.lawstuff.org.au/nsw_law/topics/bullying/bullying-at-school
I can understand it's challenging for you to report to police if your parents said they would rather wait until the people who've threatened you try to pick a fight again. Ask these law guys for advice and see what they say. I hope they can provide useful advice.
As for being asked out on dates, that's fairly common. I can see it's stressing you out - you want to date but you aren't allowed to. Is this something you can talk to your mum about? Maybe you guys can work out an agreement (date in a couple of years as opposed to waiting until you have a degree). Let us know how it goes.
my parents have strictly said no to dating yrs ago and i asked them a yr ago and they went mental when i told them that i had a boyfriend. i will try to add more info bcause i am a little busy now
Hey @mlang166 It sucks that you and your parents don't agree about dating. 
I agree that perhaps discussing a compromise with them is a good idea. Maybe they could get to know the guy for a while, maybe you could only go on group dates, if you maintain your grades, etc. But of course you know them better than any of us do. Are you normally comfortable discussing areas of disagreement with them?
Hey @mlang166, if you're a little closer to your dad, would it be possible to discuss stuff with him separately without involving your mum?
I think what @JanaG was referring to by group dates was going out with a big group of people, rather than just with one other person, which would make it less of an intimate thing. I may be wrong though 
