this is just me ranting please don feel forced to reply or read
Hey, Hi, Hello, everyone. I am starting like this cause I really need to.
I’m in economics and lonely. my “friend” (idk if he is a friend or an acquaintance) but he is away today i have one person that i don’t really know but he just asks me for some work some times.
but my mental health is on a down spiral. I am not getting enough sleep i am being left behind with friends and i am extreamly lonely in alot of my classes.
I am sick and tird of it. I want to cry. I cryed my self to sleep last night. my body wont let me sleep.
I just want to be with my boyfriend again all day and i dont want to start crying on him this afternoon cause i only get a couple mins before he has to catch the train and i dont want him to feel guilty for leaving me crying.
what do i do guys? I’m starting to get really depressed and i don’t want to deal woth school any more
Comments
It sounds like you are carrying a lot of heavy emotions right now, and I just want to acknowledge how tough that must be. Thank you for sharing this with us. Loneliness can be really hard to deal with, and I think most of us have felt it at some point. It can feel especially isolating when it seems like everyone else is moving forward while you are stuck.
One thing to keep in mind is that you do have some people around you, like your boyfriend and that person in your class (even if you are not sure yet whether they are a friend or just an acquaintance). If you feel up to it, maybe try getting to know them better - sometimes friendships grow naturally when you spend more time together. It might also help to look into clubs at your school or even volunteering if that is something you are interested in. You never know where you might meet people you click with, and even casual interactions can help ease that feeling of loneliness over time.
I also encourage you to reach out to family members if you can - maybe your parents, grandparents, or someone else. Even a short conversation can sometimes bring a sense of comfort.
I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with sleep as well. That can make everything feel even harder. Something that helps me is listening to white noise and making my environment as relaxing as possible. If my mind is racing, I try a little visualisation exercise - imagining a stream with leaves floating down it and placing my thoughts on those leaves, letting them drift away. It is a way to acknowledge the thoughts without getting too caught up in them, and it has helped me feel a bit lighter at times.
Please be gentle with yourself right now. You are doing your best, and even though things feel really heavy, you are not alone.
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time at the moment. In the midst of this, I want to acknowledge the strength it takes to share your situation with the ReachOut community. 💛
A lot of the points made by @Ishi in response to your post have resonated with me. Especially the one about meaningful friendships taking time to develop. When I reflect on my current friendships, the most special ones are those where the other person and I have built a strong connection over numerous times of meeting up with each other. Something I also found helpful was joining clubs at school or in my local community. This gave me an opportunity to meet up with people sharing similar interests, which was helpful in initiating meaningful conversations.
While I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend has been a strong support, I'm wondering if you have anyone else to speak to about how you're feeling, such as a counsellor or family member? Aside from helpful conversations, I also find it important to practice self-care when I'm feeling overwhelmed. The smallest of things can make the world of difference. For me this can range from going on a walk outside to watching a bit of my favourite tv show.
I'm sending you my best wishes and please know the ReachOut community is here to support you! 😊
Hey @Hermes-the-messenger ,
Battling feelings of loneliness can be really tough. I can understand the need to have people as friends in schools and classes. Often times when we don't have people around us we tended to feel isolated and lonely, which takes a negative toll on us.
Your experience reminded me of my own, so I can really empathize with you right now.
Being lonely was my biggest insecurity. And it feels worse when you see other people in groups of friends while you are standing alone. The image of Highschool portrayed by dramas and films about school being all about friends would always fuel my insecurity. It wasn't until I started uni when being alone wasn't making me feel lonely anymore. Rather, I had become comfortable with being on my own. And from this experience I learnt a lot of things about myself that helped me change my perception of things.
1.) Being alone is not a bad thing!
It's completely fine to be alone. In the real world outside school, you won't have friends 24/7 with you. Just like you said how your boyfriend was only able to spend a couple of minutes with you, there will be a lot of other times when you will be face similar situations where it becomes hard to spend time with people in your circle. Normalizing being alone starts to help reduce the negative thoughts around it.
2.) Making Friends can time
It seems that you are a type of person who really enjoys having people around. It is important to remember that sometimes it may take a really long time to make friends and that's completely fine as well. It's a whole process from knowing them to becoming comfortable with them. Small talk, similar interests or even talking about differences can be a good ice breaker. I just want you to remember that you are not alone. There are definitely other people in class who would want to make new friends but are too shy to take the 1st step.
3.) Being alone does not have to be lonely
If it's hard to have company face-to-face, you could always get company online. During my uni, it was so hard to meet up with my friends face-to-face. And it was even harder to make new friends as an International Student. I also didn't have a single friend in my classes and it had always affected my morale with going to classes. What helped me was keeping in touch with family and friends online every single day. It helped me overcome the feelings of loneliness when I alone in classes or in the library. That way I didn't feel left out.
I really hope that my post helps a a bit! Lastly, I'd like you remember that you've got ReachOut as your online buddy as well so feel free to chat around.
Welcome back to the Youth Community! Thank you for your courage in sharing your experiences.
I can see that things are overwhelming for you at the moment. It can be devastating to feel lonely at school and have a person you're familiar with be away. It sounds like your friend's absence has made things more isolating for you. Adding to that, not being able to sleep properly can make everything more challenging to process. Nonetheless, I can see that you care deeply for your boyfriend and it's reassuring to see that he is a source of support for you.
You've mentioned that your mental health is on a downward spiral and I'm wondering if you have been able to talk to someone you trust or a mental health professional about what has been happening for you?
I'm glad to see that you'll be seeing your boyfriend this afternoon. In the mean time, is there anything you feel able to do to look after yourself?
If you're looking for one-on-one support, we have a free PeerChat service where you can talk to a peer worker who may have had a similar experience. Kids Helpline can also offer free 24/7 counselling support over the phone or via text.
Understandably with everything that's been going on, I can see that you don't want to deal with school anymore and I wanted to share some resources that may be helpful to you. We have an article on how to cope if you're feeling anxious about going to school. We also have another one on what to do when you're feeling lonely.
We will also be sending you an email so please keep and eye out for it!
