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I have lost the motivation to do anything. I need help.
Hey reach out members, I just need some help.
I don’t mean to be a burden to anyone, I’m just not feeling it right now.
just for a bit of context, I would say I’m an A student. I am in year nine and I am finding school work very taxing. I have never had any problems with school work before and am usually always on top of the of my work. I have always been afraid of failing as I’m scared and of what my parents would say. I found that my mental health has been lacking since the end of year 8.
This entire term I have felt no motivation to accomplish anything. I procrastinate way too often and just can’t get myself to do anything ( I’m not usually a procrastinator). I have so much work that I have not handed in and really only have submitted half-assed assessments. For example, my catholic studies assessment is due tomorrow in the morning. I have only done under half of the assessment which is not like me. Am I extremely afraid of the consequences? Yes. Am I doing anything about it? No. I just don’t get why I am acting like this. I’ve never liked catholic studies, but I always submitted work on time. The thing is, the work is so simple. If I had gotten and of the work I had now in year 7, it would’ve been done a week before the due date. Regular work feels like I’m climbing Everest.
I also feel like my anxiety is through the roof! I often find myself skipping meals because of it. I’m losing my appetite and haven’t touched much of the foods I’ve liked. You know that horrible feeling you get when anxious? Like your heart dropping? I feel like I’m getting that all the time.
I’m not very keen on telling this to my parents. I’m afraid I’ll hear something I don’t want too. Like “it’s those bloody games” and have them taken away. My Xbox is the only way I have been feeling any joy recently, and, even now, I haven’t even got the motivation to walk a meter to my desk and turn my Xbox on.
I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I’m just not feeling the greatest 😔
Comments
Hey @Tanko
Just checking in on how things are going for you! It's been a while since you posted this and I'm hoping that things have improved for you. If anything, I'm always available for a chat 💜
Hi @Tanko I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling the greatest. I can only imagine how overwhelming and draining this must be for you. Firstly, as you mentioned your mental health hasn't been great and you are not feeling the greatest, I was wondering if you've been having thoughts of suicide? It sounds like there is a lot going on right now and so I just wanted to check.
You are not a burden in the slightest! In fact, we appreciate you reaching out here and sharing with us what has been happening for you. You mentioned that you noticed your mental health lacking since the end of year 8, do you mind me asking if something happened around that time that may have contributed to these feelings?
I'm also sorry to hear that your anxiety is through the roof. I am very familiar with anxiety and so I know just how horrible it can make you feel. If you are interested in having a bit of a read, we do have some really good articles on Anxiety that might be of some help. It does worry me though that you have lost your appetite and have been skipping meals. When do you think this may have started? I am also just wondering if maybe there was someone you felt comfortable talking to about this as I feel that it is a lot to be dealing with on your own?
I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we are all here for you 💜
Hey @Courtney-RO, thank you for checking in.
If I’m going to be completely honest, I’ve never thought of really committing suicide. However, I have honestly thought about how I would do it. Which even I understand is not mentally healthy.
around the end of year 8 is when COVID struck and we where all put into lockdown. School work just started getting so overwhelming to the point where I’d get anxious and hide myself away from the tasks. I guess maybe these feelings have carried over and I haven’t been able to recover. I’ve been known to love stroganoff and slow-cook. When my parents tried to make me these usually delicious meals, I just couldn’t eat them (which seems to follow up with many other foods). I constantly just felt like my heart was sinking into my stomach and I had that anxious feeling. I think they may begin to see something is up soon.
I have been skipping breakfast lately and just can’t enjoy anything I have for lunch and dinner. I started skipping meals a couple of weeks ago because I just can’t get myself to eat anything. I do try to eat at least 2 meals a day. I’m starting to eat just for the sake of surviving.
I forgot to mention before that I feel like I just can’t stay focused on task for longer periods of time. I also feel like my memory is degrading. I can easily forget something right after it has been said to me, which is something I again don’t usually do.
your reply means a lot, thank you for your help. You guys a truly heroic 😊
Hey @Courtney-RO, thanks for checking in.
If I’m going to be completely honest, I have never thought about really committing suicide. However, I have thought about how I would do it. Even I know that is mentally unhealthy.
Around the end of year 8 was when the second stage of COVID hit us and we were put into lockdown. I found that the school work during this time was very overwhelming and I often got really anxious and hid myself away from from the tasks. Perhaps these feelings have carried over and I haven’t recovered.
I started skipping meals a few weeks ago. I haven’t eaten breakfast in a while and I just can’t enjoy anything I have for lunch and dinner. I just feel like I get sick every time. I get that horrible feeling of anxiety and it pushes me away from food. I’m a bit worried my parents will start catching on as they are very perceptive and I’m known for loving stroganoff, which my parents made as a surprise for me. I just couldn’t eat much of it.
I also forgot to mention that I feel like my memory is degrading. I can forget something that someone has said to my face in an instant, which is not like me. I’m also finding it hard to focus on things. Which again, is not like me.
Thank you for the reply, you guys are truly heroic 😊
Thank you for letting me know that you have never thought about committing suicide but that you have thought about how you would do it @Tanko It sounds like it would have been such a confronting thought to have.
Covid brought with it so many changes and challenges, I can only imagine how the schools would have been affected. With so much going on at that time, I can see why you may have felt overwhelmed and anxious. It is very possible that these feelings have carried over. Do you mind me asking what you usually do when you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious? Have you found anything that helps you, even just a little bit?
Anxiety can be absolutely awful, especially with that nasty, heavy feeling in your stomach. I have been in a similar situation before where I struggled to keep food down because my anxiety was so bad. But its horrible when you can't even eat your favourite food. I'm also sorry to hear that you have been having trouble with your memory too, that sounds like it would be really confusing and scary. I was just wondering if there was someone you felt comfortable talking to about all these changes you are going through? Perhaps even a GP that may be able to offer you some solutions to help? It sounds like a lot to be going through right now, especially since you werent too keen on talking to your parents. If things do get too much at all, Kidshelpline is always available for a chat too 💜
Sorry for the late reply, @Courtney-RO. We aren’t allowed phones at school and I fell asleep during our conversation last night.
I don’t actually know what to do when feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I just hide away and try to sort it out myself. The only thing that really gets my mind of things are video games. I haven’t booted up my Xbox in a while, I just sit at home and procrastinate on my room.
I am worried if I tell my parents about my problems, I would get into trouble for not completing enough work or being successful.
My Oma passed away recently, and I made a promise on our last visit to each other. I promised I would do well in school, but I feel like I’m failing her. I feel like I’m failing myself. I might have to have a chat with them soon, as that might be the only way I can get some professional help from a GP.
It’s nice to see someone who understands. Im just worried my parents won’t.
Thank you so much for being here for me, it really helps.
Hey @Tanko no worries at all! I'm sorry to hear that you feel that you aren't sure what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Those are some pretty tough feelings to sit with. Playing video games can be a pretty good distraction. Is there any reason why you haven't been playing lately? Are there any games in particular that you like to play?
Feeling like you can't tell your parents must be really tough as well. Is there anyone that you feel comfortable talking to about how you have been feeling? It's really awesome of you to acknowledge that reaching out to your parents and your GP is needed to get some more support. You mentioned being worried that your parent's won't understand, is there anything in particular you are worried about? ❤️
Hi @Tanko , I just wanted to check in and say thank you for being so honest about your experience with suicidal thoughts. It can be tough to open about about these kinds of things, even if you feel you're able to keep yourself safe and that you're not really considering it.
You mentioned that you aren't thinking about suicide at the moment, but that you've thought about how you might do it before. If you're ever feeling like you want to act on that plan, we'd encourage you to check out Lifeline here or on 13 11 14, or Kids Helpline which Courtney mentioned above. Sending you lots of love and support while you're going through this tough time ❤️
P.S. Keep your eyes peeled for an email from us just to check in 🥰
Hey @Portia_RO, sorry for not replying. I just got home from school and I don’t seem to be getting emails unfortunately.
We aren’t allowed our phones at school which may slow down the process.
Thank you so much for sending the support, it really means a lot to me. Thank you for telling me about sources for help. I hope I never have to use the hotline. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It feels good to have someone to talk about my problems with me. Thank you so much for your kind words, they boost my mood, even if it’s only for a little bit 😊