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Year 12 Leavers/Formal
Hey guys, first post from me.
Lately at school I have felt distant from who I would've considered my 'friend group'.
Home life is stressful and so is my casual job (I work almost everyday). I only attend school when I can't do the work at home on my laptop; my social anxiety has made going a lot harder this year as its my final year.
Before I started ditching classes my 'friend group' would have multiple group chats and make plans frequently without me. I would be the ONLY one excluded. So that made my 'friendship' with theses people feel so fake and/or forced.
I now barely ever talk to or see any of them as I usually go straight to class and then straight home; I don't even go to my locker. If I am there during breaks I sit outside by myself or continue working in the classroom.
This brings us around to my question; do I go to my year 12 dinner?
FACTS.
1. I'd be going by myself.
2. It'd be uncomfortable to sit with my old friend group or on a table with the other loners. No thanks.
3. There is no after-party. I'd be at the dinner for 4hrs and then come home.
4. I graduate BEFORE leavers. I leave school and then leavers is 2 weeks later?
5. This whole thing is so stressful it makes me panic, I feel it might be easier to just not go; do my exams then never go back.
Comments
Hi @Pink_panda
I’m sorry to hear people have been treating you poorly. It really isn’t worth it to have friends that treat you like that in the end. Not worth the energy.
Do you generally enjoy events like this dinner? If you just made the choice based on your preferences (ignoring the friendship issues), would you want to go?
If you do end up choosing to go to university, you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to attend dinners so you might not miss out completely. Based on the amount of stress this is causing you, it may not be worth attending, however, some people do place significance on the end of year 12 (understandably) so it makes sense to feel a little bit torn between the options.
I certainly enjoyed getting a dress and a nice car etc. In year 10 and would like to do it again but even if I did go to all the effort, would it be worth it if I dont enjoy my time or compant at the dinner.
I have accepted that my friendship with that group has come to an end and am trying to expand my social circle in other parts of my life such as my work mates.
Yeah, that’s completely fair. Nice environment, not so nice people.
You could always have a nice celebration with your work mates/other parts of your social circle. It’s not the same but it might be more enjoyable evening.
Hey @Pink_panda just chiming in to your post and it's great that you enjoyed getting dressed up and the nice car etc. Maybe see what year 10 brings and see how you feel about it at the time. You might find you think differently and might know different people then too.
Friends can change throughout our lives and sometimes we witness our friendships coming to an end and it can be a bit sad. It's great that you are trying to expand your social circle and getting to know your workmates too.
Good to see you have so many things going on in your life and connecting with people.
Take care
Pete-RO
Hi @Pink_panda
Welcome to the ReachOut Youth Forums, we are so glad you have found us!
It really sounds like you are juggling so much right now and feeling quite stressed in multiple facets of your life. Navigating friendships can be a tough and it sounds like you haven’t felt valued by these people for a while. You deserve to have friends in your life that bring you joy and who you look forward to spending time with. We have a range of content on our website including articles and quizzes on the topic of friendships and I wonder if checking these out may help you evaluate these relationships and whether you want to continue investing in them. On the other hand, I do understand why you are struggling with this decision as finishing year 12 is a massive achievement worth celebrating! @Indigo_blue has offered you some great food for thought to help you weigh up your options. I would like to add that if you choose not to go, I encourage you to celebrate this milestone in your own way as it is an accomplishment worth being proud of. Congratulations! 🥳
You mention in your post that you have been experiencing social anxiety and panic. I am curious if you have ever spoken to anyone or received any support for this? I have included some links with information and self-help strategies you may like to check out. You also may like to try this quiz to see what help is available that best suits your needs. I want to commend you for having the courage to reach out for support today and I hope you are able to make some connections in this community with other young people facing similar challenges.
Hey @Pink_panda
I'm sorry you are going through a bad time, school was not a fun time for me either.
Do you think there is any chance of rekindling the friendship?
What do you think you'd do if you didn't attend the school dinner?
As hard as it is to go to the dinner just think you won't have to see most of those people again after graduation as most people tend to move away after school if that helps at all
lots of love xx
I'm pretty certain that friendship with the group has "sailed" and I feel okay about it. It was more exhausting having it happen even though I mentioned it to them all.
If I dont go to the dinner (there is no major/open after parties, so that's not an option.) I will probably come home and drink/"party" (with like 6 people) to celebrate.
Another note is that my partner of almost 2 years left school last year to work so is unable to attend the dinner but would be at my little get-together.