Trans vent
Comments
Welcome to the community @Williamsworthtrillions and thank you for sharing what you've been going through. It's so hard and unfair that you have to hide who you are from your family. It also sounds really upsetting having to endure this intense gender dysphoria until you can transition. I'm sorry your family says transphobic stuff about your friend and tries to pass it off as a joke, that's definitely not okay and it makes sense you don't feel safe expressing your identity.
As @Appel_banappel suggested, it might also be helpful to check out support services available to you. There's a list of support groups for young people state by state here and we also have a collection of resources on gender identity here, if any of these are helpful.
I'll also share this resource about your rights as a trans young person under 18 years, in case that's helpful, though I'm aware it's really complicated with not feeling safe to tell your parents.
I just wanted to let you know as well, we've made some slight edits to your post to protect your anonymity in alignment with our Community Guidelines 🙂
The community accepts you for who you are and is here to support you
I so feel you as a trans person in a similar situation. I'm 15 but it's still years until I can transition in any way. And my family has similar opinions on trans people.
I don't know how to help but I just want you to knw you're not alone.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now. Your parents being unaccepting towards trans people and not letting you have your own choice and autonomy is disgusting and I wish no one ever had to experience that. I'm really glad you've managed to get a binder, and if you wanted to wear it at school would you be able to change into it when you've gotten to school/anywhere without your parents? It's also good you've got friends who sound like they're accepting of you want you to express how you want - maybe you could go buy some masculine clothes with your friends and change into them when you're hanging out with them without your parents?
You're so strong pushing through this, being trans is already so difficult and don't ever think persuing transition if you need it is 'wrong' or somehow makes you 'imperfect'. If you have a search for your state or area, are there any online or in person trans support groups? They can be an extremely helpful resource to find a space that accepts and loves you for you. And even if your parents wouldn't let you access these right now, they could be good to hold onto for when you get a bit older and gain some more independence.
We will all accept you as trans here and even though it's really difficult right now, this is temporary and at some point you will be able to express yourself however you want and surround yourself with people who want to see you how you truly are.
