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Being Bullied
hi guys I've recently been faced with a bullying situation where I've had someone call me worthless and a nothing and call me names and was wondering whether anyone else has recently been through similar experiences I don't know how to approach parents or family about this and has left me with feelings of helplessness as I don't know how to make the bullying stop and was wondering if anyone has any advice or tips that might help
Comments
Hi @lillypond,
I have been bullied by classmates in high school and have similarly received labels; thus, I can empathize with what you're going through.
For me, talking to close friends, teachers, and family has helped a lot; I felt there were people who supported me and valued me, contrary to what the bullies suggested. Thus, I think it is useful and important to let people close to you know about what you're experiencing. If this bullying situation occurred at school, letting your school counselor or homeroom teacher know can be very helpful in making the bullying stop. Letting your close friends know can help minimize the harm the verbal bullying can have on you, because your friends (if they are good friends) would show that you are worthy and nothing like what the bullies are saying.
In the worst case scenario, if there is still subtle bullying (people being sneaky about it or it doesn't completely stop even if authority has spoken to the bullies), then ignoring them is the best solution. Bullies essentially want attention and thrive when others show that they are affected, so ignoring them effectively means the bullies are not rewarded for their bullying behavior; therefore, they would more likely stop eventually.
Hope this helps :))
-Greenfern
Hi @lillypond 
Bullying is a terrible thing to go through and I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I think when you're being bullied the best thing you need is support from family and friends around you. If possible, have a chat to some friends about how bullying is making you feel and how you need support in this time, they could possibly also stand up for you/support you while this is happenign if they are around. i also highly encourage you speak to your parents, I know it can be scary and difficult to start the conversation but it will do you better in the long run. Some tips for talking to your parents are to just speak to one at first, it is a little less scary than having both with you, and also to not make eye contact if that helps, a great way of doing this is to bring up the bullying when in a car/if one of you are busy doing something. This may help you feel more comfortable talking to them as you are not face to face and making eye contact, which can sometimes make it scarier to open up.
I hope all this gets sorted and make sure to look after yourself during this difficult time!
Hi there @lillypond ,
I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing being bullied. Bullying is certainly not okay. It is understandable that you are reaching out to the community for any tips or advice about dealing with bullies. It must be so hard to carry this on your own seeing as you find it hard to speak to parents and family about it. Do you have another trusted adult you can speak to about what is happening and how you are feeling about it?
Being bullied can certainly make one feel hopeless and helpless. You may be interested in these tips from Kids Helpline about how to deal with bullies:
- Call it out, e.g. Frown and say, "Oh wow, that was actually really mean!"
- Pretend to agree with them (to show you don't really care), e.g. "You're right, I am a loser. Thanks for being so open and honest with me."
- Act unbothered, like you don't care, e.g. "Nice insult. A bit unoriginal though - I give it 3 stars out of 5. Better luck next time."
- Use humour (if appropriate), e.g. Laugh, and say: "Haha, good one. I would insult you back, but I am not sure that you would get it."
- Pretend you don't understand the insult and make them explain it to you - this works well for more subtle insults or when people act like, 'It was just a joke; lighten up'. e.g. "I don't get it. Explain it to me?"
- Directly ask someone to intervene or help, eg. "Jordan, back me up here!"
Because bullying is something that happens repeatedly, it means you can sort of 'prepare' and plan how to respond the next time it happens.
Would you consider using some of the above strategies in the future?
I'll also be sending an email your way shortly.
Hi Chloe thanks for reaching out it's definitely a lot to try and carry on my own it's definitely resulted in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness more than once over the past few days and talking with parents and family is hard when i don't know what to say to bring the subject up with them and i've been struggling to find another person i trust to confide in about this,and i appreciate the tips on how to approach the bullly and things i could try saying i've been feeling a bit low about this situation so hopefully chatting to someone here about how i'm feeling might help a little with that
Hi @lillypond 
I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with bullying, it is a very stressful experience and completely unfair. I hope you find the support you receive here comforting.
I would like to remind you that bullying in any capacity is never okay. We have some resources on our website about how to handle cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is unacceptable and you are able to report it. There is a link in this article explaining how.
I understand this is a difficult time for you, I wonder if there are any activities you enjoy that could participate in to lift your mood?
We have also send you an email so keep an eye out for that 🙂
thanks for getting back to me Shiv-RO this is definitely a stressful and difficult time I'm going through right now and I really appreciate the link you sent me I am still feeling a little low today but I have a friend now that I can confide in so maybe talking to a friend about it first might help a little and I'm really grateful I can reach out to the community for support as well during this hard time while I'm feeling a bit upset about it