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Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hi there

My life is so hard at the moment. I am always fighting with my parents we hate each other, school is hard, I hate what I look like and get bullied about who i am. When I get angry or sad my only way to deal with it is by self harm. If it gets really bad all i can think about is suicide. I have attempted suicide multiple times my parents only know i tried once. I don't have anyone that i can talk to about it, i find it awkward to talk to my parents and dont like it. Ive tried pyscology but i hate it, it makes me feel worse. Im so over life. Please can someone help me?

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hi there jman.. what you've described sounds really tough... you've described a lot and any one of those things would be a lot for one person to bear so despite it all it does make sense that you are feeling so much emotional pain right now. Not having a harmonious place to go home to can make everything else harder to deal with and bullying really can eat away at us. Despite that you feel suicidal you might be surprised to hear me say that actually, you sound like someone who is fighting to live. You've tried talking to your parents and you've tried psychology - even though those things didn't work out for you that time, i do really want to point out that it took a lot of guts to do that - it's more than many people are able to do. You are strong - you want this emotional pain to end and you are fighting to live through it and see your life through to the other side. I'm really glad that you have found us here. Maybe talking to others that have been through the suicidal thoughts but have made it through might help you find your way. By posting here, you have shown that there is apart of you that wants to live- it's that part of you that keeps you looking for help. That part of you is strong and you should be proud of it. You do want the emotional pain to end but you also want to live. You do have be alive to feel that pain end - and just because you have *thoughts* of suicide, doesn't mean you have to turn them into *actions*. Now that you have made that step of posting here, maybe you want to think about chatting anonymously to a counsellor online? You could even cut and paste what you have written here into the chat window? Here's how you can contact them: http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

I also want to recommend that you have a read of some stories here from other people who have felt suicidal as they talk about what helps them - maybe something might strike a chord with you? http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Somethings-not-right/Suicide

jman, hope to keep seeing you aroudn the forums, but if you are thinking of acting on your suicidal thoughts, contact suicide call back service now.

I don't want to be a cliche, but this phrase really means something to me: H.O.P.E= Hold On, Pain Ends..... Take care of yourself

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hi jman,

 

It sounds like you're having a tough time. I can really empathise with the way you're feeling as I too have felt this way in the past.

 

What I really wanted to say to you was that I hope you keep seeking help and not let your crappy experience with a psychologist keep you from doing so. There are so many health professionals out there who can work with people suffering from some of the things you've described. Don't feel like a psychologist is the only one you can choose! I highly recommend that you make an appointment with a GP to discuss the different options and which might be best for you.

 

But here is a page that has info on a wide variety of health professionals that may be able to help: http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Getting-help/Professional-help Hopefully you'll find one that you think sounds pretty awesome and might work for you.

 

Another thing that is important to remember is that different therapy can be used by different psychologist, a wide variety use basic talk therapy where you'll sit a talk about things but others use other stuff too. You've got to find a type of therapy that works for you, so maybe even trying a different psychologist might be helpful as they may use different techniques. I personally quite like the benefits of music therapy and in the past art therapy has helped me to express some issues I'm having trouble putting into words.

 

I hope that you don't give up on help seeking and do keep trying to find someone that works for you. Something that really helped me in my journey was knowing that just because I felt these particular feelings or emotions didn't mean that I had to put up with them. Once I accepted that I sought some help and haven't looked back since!

 

Goodluck on your journey!

 

Atma

 

 

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Thanks Atma, I think I'm going to a GP today. Il see what they say.

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Thank you Sophie-RO

Yeah that's basically it. Il give it a go with online counselling and keep in mind H.O.P.E

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hey jmann, good luck with the GP & online counseling.... Make sure you are really honest with the GP about what you have been experiencing and feeling. You could even show her/him what you wrote here. Please let us know how you go.

Remember that some doctors are better than others at relating to young people - to find a youth friendly GP in your area, try calling a youth service and asking them if they know of any GPs that are youth-friendly. For example you could try http://www.brisyouth.org/

Good luck and make sure you come back andlet us know how it goes...

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hi Sophie-RO

I went to the GP and he said we can either try going to a physiatrist or go to Royal Brisbane Hospital if It gets bad over night, which it did so I went to RBH and talked to a couple of people. They said they don't want me to stay in hospital only because I've had previous experiences with people in a unstable condition which effects me because I try to help and then makes me worse. There was alot of people that is was vulnerable to. So they suggested to see KIMs once/twice a week. If I end up self harming, attempting suicide or go have a day where I can't get those two thoughts out of my head, go to Royal Brisbane again.

Jman

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

That's really good news jman99. It's great that you were able to get help when you felt you needed it. I'm not from Brisbane so I don't know what KIM stands for but I'm guessing it's probably something similar to CAMHS. Is that right? Did you talk to your GP or the hospital staff about a safety plan or something similar? Or it this something you will work toward with KIMs?

 

Again, well done for having the courage and slef care to go to RBH when you needed to and agreeing to see someone regularly.

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hey jman99,

 

I just wanted to chime in and say good on you for seeing your GP and going to the hospital - they're not easy things to do, so awesome work for taking those steps to keep yourself safe and to try and get some help with what you're going through. Seeing KIMS (I'm assuming you mean CYMHS - child & youth mental health services?) sounds like a good idea. I haven't had anything to do with QLD but I saw a number of different people in the the child & adolescent team in Sydney and found most of them really helpful - hopefully you have a good experience and find the support you need there. Have you got an appointment organised with them? It might be worth giving them a call and making a time to catch up with them, even if you're not feeling like you're at risk of hurting yourself right now, just so they know who you are and get an idea of what you're going through, in case you need them down the track. 

 

Again, well done for reaching out! And good luck with things from here - let us know how you're going Smiley Happy

Re: Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

Hey NigioC

Yeah I don't know what it stands for either but it's like CYHMS. I talked to one of the staff then they got a doctor and someone who is a expert on this stuff.

Jman