I LOVE that you dress for your mood. I need to do that a bit more I think... I just stick with a bit of a rotation of the same things! ... View more

Hey Doni,   No worries brosef, it's taken me ages to change the way I think about others behaviour, I guess it was a bit of a life affirming moment where I just suddenly didn't care as much anymore. That being said I still get a bit PO'ed sometimes and it can be hard when you're angry not to direct that anger at someone.   Keep practising and work out some sayings that'll work for you. The more you give it a whack the easier it'll become! ... View more

It sounds like education is something you value, so keeping that in mind here is the question I thought when I read your post:   If school is about learning and challenges for you which project will you end up learning more from completing?   Perhaps you'll get a different answer to the question of, which one will give you a better mark. Does everything need to be about marks or can it be about learning new things and growing from those things? Yeah sure, maybe the kids who take the easy project get a good grade, but taking a tough project means you could learn some more valuable lessons, and maybe you'll still get a good grade!   Let us know which project you decide to go with.   Post script: so sorry that your teacher is letting you down by not living up to standard. Have you considered discussing this with another teacher or your year level coordinator? It might be worthwhile feedback to give and I'm sure your school would appreciate it, because they'll probably want the best teachers ever, right? ... View more

Hey Doni,   No harm, no foul. Sometimes our own thoughts get in the way of thinking about how they might affect others. I think you've raised an interested topic!   But I am so keen to know what kind of clothes you can pull off so share if you're keen! ... View more

Hmmm your last post didn't load until after I'd replied!   I'm glad that you're trying to get in touch with khl and eheadspace. Keep trying! It can be a long wait but I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end! ... View more

Hi b,   Feeling like you need to die in order to overcome what you're feeling is a really hard place to be in. I think that it's ok to feel this way and that often a lot of people do, but what's really important is that you tell someone about it. Telling someone with the means to help you can be a really positive step to getting back on track to feeling happy. Thoughts of suicide can be really difficult to deal with on your own and having someone alongside to support you can make a huge difference.   It sounds like you're in a pretty isolated area where getting to the GP is hard and your school doesn't provide any counselling support. Have you considered eheadspace? It's an online service where you can chat to a health professional about what you're thinking and feeling and how those thoughts and emotions reflect in your behaviour. It sounds like you could really benefit from talking to them.   Also just because your school doesn't have counsellors doesn't mean that you couldn't reach out to a teacher that you trust, they might not hold all the answers but they should do their best to find you someone who can help who has the answers.   Friendships can be really hard to maintain when you're feeling down in the dumps. It's awful to hear that no one is able to provide you with the kind of support that you need. As a bit of an anecdote from my own life, I sometimes find it difficult to support my friends mental health because it can have a huge impact on my own, I always point them in the right direction but sometimes there isn't much more I am emotionally capable of doing. Perhaps your friends are in a similar boat, where they really care for you but can't or don't know what to do to help out. Have you considered sharing some of the fact sheets from ReachOut.com with them, or even giving them some tips about what might help you out when you're feeling down i.e. I love my friends to offer me a cup of tea, so I've told them that when I'm feeling down that's a pretty good starting point!   I really hope you're able to share this story with someone around you who is able to give you some support and guidance through this time. Goodluck         ... View more

Dudes... I just high-fived the last three posts because they are AWESOME (read: awesome in singsong voice!).   It's really great to hear how everyone is really aware of how their actions can impact others. It's also brills to hear that everyone has different things they can pull off.    I think as people we're always trying to overcome the prejedgement syndrome that we can sometimes suffer from. It doesn't mean that our judgements are invalid or wrong, but it's really great to keep in mind that sometimes they can have an effect on other people.    Clothing is an interesting topic because it can be a part of your identity and become something that helps you to fit in. I found this mostly to be true at highschool, when I went off to uni suddenly it all changed and I didn't mind if I wasn't wearing the branded clothing. It was a huge relief! A little off topic, but the other day my friend told me that she didn't like my hair colour (which is bright red) because it made my cheeks look really red too. I was so devo'd that she said it... then I realised that so many people have given me great compliments about my hair colour recently and those comments totally outweighed my friends one. Isn't it strange how we focus so much on the negative and forget about positives so quickly!   Keep up the interesting discussion guys!             ... View more

Leaves on a plate my Grandmother painted (I'm at my parents house).   Red ... View more

Hey @Doni99,   This post reminds me of something from when I was younger, which was that instead of jerk-clothing we had westies. Reflecting back on it, I'm not proud of labelling people as westies because of their behaviour or style, but I engaged in it because it was what all of my friends were doing.   Style was totally important when I was growing up and I myself used to get picked on for some of the things that I wore, for example there was this old thing called a DaDa jumper (I hope I'm remembering this right) which was really uncool to own and I got picked on bad for wearing one! Awful stuff! This bullying caused some awful psychological damage and still impacts my choices today.   I thought I'd turn your list around into something a bit more positive, here goes!   Here's a list of clothing I can pull off that not everyone can: - Skater dresses - Knitted jumpers - Flaired jeans - Clothes from the op-shop - 60s style sunglasses - Maxi-dresses - Long t-shirts - Head scarves - Hats (lorve me a hat!) - Beanies and Scarf combos - Long peasant style skirts   Here's a list of clothing I know I'll never pull off, but that other people can: - Mini skirts and dresses - Skinny jeans - Jeggings - Knee-high boots - Shift dresses - Backpacks - Skate shoes - 3/4 length pants (they look like normal length pants that are slightly too short on me, pretty hilarious!) - Birght prints   I think it's pretty cool that some people can pull off jeggings, sometimes I wish I could, but then I remember that I can totally pull off other looks that people who wear jeggings can't!   Anyone got a list like this they want to share? ... View more

My top five reactions when I see my (well I don't really have enemies, but I do admit that I don't get along with everyone, so I'll call them...) people who I probably wouldn't become friends with in the future:   1. When they make a comment behind my back that you can see my underwear through my skirt (true story): "Oh, man I can totally work this bright pink undies showing through my black skirt look. Thanks for pointing out my new fashion statement, obviously you're embarrassed that you can't pull this look off".   2. They look at me like I've got smeared poo on my face: Me to friend: "Do I have smeared poo on my face?", friend: "No!", me: "oh well perhaps a bad smell crept up their nose right while they were looking at my face, a face which is looking damn fine today if I say so myself!".   3. Women with fashion looks I probably wouldn't go with: "Hey that's really not my style, but I'm glad she wore it, because if no one ever straightened their hair, slathered on fake tan or wore skin tight clothing, then I wouldn't know that it isn't the look for me and I might have tried it out! Good on them for feeling that they can pull it off, but I'll just stick to my pale skinned, wavy haired, baggy clothes style!"   4. Someone is really rude to me for whatever reason: "I wonder what awful stuff happened in their life that has caused them to react the way that they do? Although this is a bit upsetting, I'm sure I'm a lot better off than they are at this point in time. I'm just going to let this go, because if I hold onto the way I'm feeling about this then I might turn into a rude person and engage in the kind of behaviour they're exhibiting."   5. People cut in front of me while I'm driving: "Oh man, come on now you could have caused an accident, you may have no regard for my safety, but I do! Obviously you're in your own little universe and I can congratulate myself because I have a lot more respect on the road and they're probably more likely to cause an accident than me".   Doni99, I used to have similar thought to what you've written above. I used to get really angry or annoyed that people would be rude to me or do things that I wouldn't choose to do. Then when I hit my early 20s I realised that holding onto these feelings was really getting me down and causing a lot more harm that what was initially caused by the person who's actions I didn't appreciated. Now I know that whatever happens to me I can react calmly and know that I won't have to carry it around for a long time worrying over what they've done. We all have different experiences in life that shape the person we become and not all our experiences are good ones, so I always keep in mind that whatever is happening to me by that 'enemy' probably means they're having a really hard time.   Has anyone else got any positive things they say to themselves when something happens that gets you down?   ... View more

Brilliant news Kel. Thanks for sharing that with us. I hope everything works out! ... View more

It sounds like the lack of connection is really getting you down and causing a lot of frustration. Have you tapped into school counsellors to chat about how you're feeling? They might be helpful and have some advice.   In regards to your anxiety around lunch time have you tried any meditation or relaxation techniques? You might find something that will help to calm you down, for example, when I've got a bit of pent up energy I take a long and deep breath for say six seconds, then I let it out low and slow for another six seconds. That really helps bring me back to the moment as well as slow down some of my symptoms like racing heart or thoughts.   I watched this awesome vid from ReachOut.com today too. I loved it so much that I thought I'd share it here with you!   ... View more

You may or may not need or get a diagnosis, but it's a really positive step to be sharing how you're feeling with a health professional because regardless of the diagnosis factor they'll be able to help you out.   I'm glad to hear that you've been opening up to your Mum, that is a great relationship to foster and it sounds like she was very open to hearing what you had to say and finding help. She sounds like a great support person you'll be able to rely on when times get tough.   One thing I regret is not having formed a better relationship with my parents when I was younger. Because of that I find it a lot harder to open up to them about what's happening with my health. Sometimes I wish that if I had've opened up earlier instead of hiding my feelings I'd be more able to speak to them now. So I hope you have the opportunities to get close with your mum!   I love this line "there are some things going on up there that shouldn't be ignored"! What a proactive step in the right direction. You should be so proud that you've been able to acknowledge this! Sometimes people take awhile to come to this realisation, I know I did. So yay you!   Let the community know when you've been able to connect to a psychologist in your area who can assist you to learn more about your mind. ... View more

Wow guys, I want to hear more about your respective religions.   Firstly, what is Coptic Orthodox? ... View more

Doni that sounds like the best day ever! It definately tops my day...   I've been cooped up in bed all day because I'm suffering from some sort of virus that's given me a dry tickly cough and a sore throat and headache.   But my evening should pick up because I get to go to work a hang out with some awesome young peeps! ... View more

Hey awsm,   This sounds like a really tough situation involving a lot of emotions.   I can only share my personal experience with you and maybe you can take something away from it, maybe not but I'll share it anyway.   I've experienced similar situations to the one you're in, where I've become infatuated with another person who wasn't really a good fit for me. One particular one that comes to mind was with a partner I had for five years. I sort of fell into this relationship and for a long time I wanted to get out of it.It wasn't an abusive relationship, but I didn't feel respected.   Sadly, I had really low self esteem at the time and two main thoughts were going through my mind. The first was that this was about as good as I'd get, the second was that I deserved this kind of relationship. Anyway the relationship was very turbulent, on and off, back and forward (I'd keep them on Facebook, memorise their phone number so I could stay in touch) until one day I decided I wouldn't put up with it. It wasn't a relevation, it took a lot of time, energy and thought to actually get to a decision. I decided that the best thing to do was to severe all ties because I was becoming reliant on the relationship and I knew that whatever happened it would always be there for me to fall back into if I needed. I didn't want to be the girl who couldn't be on her own.   Severing the ties was the best thing I could have done for my self esteem. It made me believe that I could achieve anything, that I didn't need to settle for anything less than perfect and it gave me a lot of confidence when I started my next relationship. It wasn't easy tho. I tried a few times before I ended up achieving the desired result and in the end it was a mutual decision which made it a lot easier.   I'll never tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do because life is an individual journey. But I wonder what is tying you to this relationship and whether you're placing yourself in the best position to make a decision? Perhaps it's time to think of some answers that'll help you get through. A health professional like a psychologist might be a great person to bounce thoughts off, alternatively you could do the same with the Kids Help Line.   I'm sure that you'll make a good decision once you've weighed up the possibilities. ... View more

Hi -pikapika-,   Great job taking the step to post this here so you can get some support. I think it's a really brave step.   I'm hearing a bit of a message about not feeling comfortable in your own skin and needing to fix yourself. Firstly, I wanted to throw in something which might be a bit controversial. Maybe you don't need fixing? Some light tinkering maybe, but essentially you're still you, you're still a great person with a wonderful mind and personality, but sometimes depression and mental illnesses in general make us forget who we are.   I can relate to some of what you're going thought, when I'm at my worst I'm crying a lot, I start loosing interest in things (like school) and I feel awful about my general appearance. See I have huge body image issues and those get in the way of me being able to see myself as I really am, which is an intelligent person with a friendly disposition and positive nature. But when all I'm thinking about is how awful I look in my clothes, or how much I weigh or what I should be eating I'm too focused on the negatives to see the positives.   Something that's worked for me is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with a psychologist. It's helped me to identify these negative thoughts and then chuck them out in favour of something more positive. For example, my negative thought might be 'I'm really ugly today', I identify that it's a falsehood and I say to myself, 'Actually maybe this isn't my best day but check out how bright your eye colour is!'. It can be really difficult identifying those negative thoughts, but when you can boy does is make you feel good!   I really encourage you to seek out some help. A great place to start is with your GP who can talk about the options with you. You don't need to feel the way you do and noone deserves to feel awful about the way they look, but it's really hard to pull yourself out of it without getting help from someone else. I sought help after suffering for a few years and it was the best thing I could have done!   Let us know how you go with getting some support!   Here are some fact sheets you might find interesting: http://au.reachout.com/Wellbeing/Personal-Identity/Body-image http://au.reachout.com/All-about-psychological-treatments http://au.reachout.com/Therapy         ... View more

Hi Luna   It really struck me that you've got no friends. That must be really hard. I couldn't image not having a friend to turn to when I'm having a bit of a hard time.   Are you able to rekindle the friendships you had in the past? If not perhaps making some new ones is the way to go? I've been trying to make some new friends lately and my first step was to identify my interests, knitting, reading and Buddhism, and then take those interests and find activities or clubs I can get involved in, a Buddhist society, book swap meets and knitting classes.   I hope you're able to make some friends you can share your stories with soon. ... View more

I'm so glad to hear that your relationship with your son had improved after a conversation. It's amazing the power that sitting down and being open can have on relationships.   I hope that your son can find some volunteering opportunities close by. I totally get the small town syndrome and lack of opportunities it can present. There are lot of kind hearted people out there willing to give anyone a go, you just need to find them. I hope you do find them.   I hope your son finds that nice young lady! ... View more

Hi tree (what a beautiful username),   I really just wanted to back up what Gail has just said. University is certainly not the only path to get to a career in life. But I really encourage you not to make a rash decision, instead think it out and talk to some of the staff at your university. Most universities offer course intermissions or deferrals where you can take some time off, without dropping your course, and come back in six months to a years time. I'm currently taking a semester break to look after my mental wellbeing.    But taking time off isn't the only option, you can reduce your course load, look at going part-time, look at options to study off-campus any lots more. But you've got to initiate a conversation with your faculty course advisors to find out what the options are. You don't even need to give them too much detail about the why, just about what you want to do.   The first year of university can be the hardest, you're trying to get used to a new system of independent learning, trying to make new friends, trying to complete a lot of assignments and it can get a lot of people down. In first year it's common for people to fail units or to drop out. I felt exactly the same in my first year of university. I hated some of my subjects and thought it was stupid. But I decided to stick with it for another year and it wasn't until that second year that I started fitting in, making friends and doing well in my subjects.   Most universities also have free counselling services who are great at talking you through study options and giving supporting documentation for things like extensions etc. They might be a great resource to tap into just to find out some of that info.   Goodluck ... View more

Hi Stewie,   I've been away for a couple of days and only just read your story, thanks so much for sharing it!   I can really relate to it tho because I suffer from a chronic illness! Something a lot of people don't realise is the impact that living life with an illness can have on your life. It's not just about having a cold and taking a day off work, it impacts many areas of your life, like your relationships with other people, your recreational activities and even getting involved in work or study. Because it can have such a huge impact, many people who will suffer with an illness long term are at risk of developing a mental illness. Talk about a hard run, not only have they got to deal with the physical stuff, now they've got to deal with the mental stuff too.   When I was 16 I was given a diagnosis that changed my life, mostly because that diagnosis meant I got to live. To start off with I was really excited because I went from being bedridden to suddenly able to go out and party. It wasn't until about a year later that I realised how different my life was post that diagnosis. Suddenly I was realising that I couldn't stay out as late as my friends, that I was exhausted after a week of going to school, that people didn't understand why I put on a lot of weight and many, many more things that happened.   I started feeling different from others. I didn't think I was normal because I couldn't do the stuff they were doing. Mentally I started feeling a bit down, but I put up with it for about three years until I was in my third year of university. I decided that what normal people do is work part-time 4 days a week and study full-time. I pushed my body to the extreme and finally it burnt out. I knew that I was suffering from depression but I decided I'd tackle it alone, I know myself the best, so I thought I'd be best placed to fix myself up. A year after that I was still no better. I didn't have any energy, I didn't have any feelings but still I cried, a lot.   Finally I decided to reach out and seek help. It was probably the best decision I've ever made. So hearing that you've decided to reach out to headspace brings a huge smile to my face. I really encourage you never to give up, not all types of therapy work for everyone, you need to find a health professional who is willing to adapt their style to your way of working.   But man, when you finally get there boy does it feel good!   Also something that helped me out was joining a support group for young people with chronic illnesses. Perhaps that's something you might be interested in too, there might even be support groups for the particular situation you've gone through. I found that being around people who were in the same boat as me made me feel heaps better about my situation and I made some great friends along the way.   Goodluck with the next steps of your journey, I'm backing you for a win! ... View more

Hi jayeo77,   I just wanted to pop by and say that I totally understand how you're feeling right now. Trust and honesty in relationships are really important attributes to develop. I think NigioC has suggested a great tips about slowing things down and waiting for the dust to settle. I definitely agree with this, sometimes sleeping on it for awhile can give people the time and space to overcome this kind of thing. Then perhaps you can start having some conversations with your friend and your partner about trust and honesty and respecting individual relationships.   Make sure you're looking after yourself during this time. It's a hard place to be in when you want to end your life, but it doesn't have to be that way so long as you can take the first few steps and involve someone, like Kids Help Line, a trusted parent or your GP. Don't be afraid to speak up about how you're feeling to someone as keeping it bottled inside or keeping it a secret can add extra pressure.    Goodluck with the conversations you might have in the future,   Atma ... View more

Ditto. Hope you get some answers soon mate! ... View more

Hi Sharky,   It sounds like things are a bit rough at the moment. I'm glad to hear you're engaging with some services including a counsellor and online counselling (which I think must have been with eheadspace, as we don't do have any crisis services).   It sounds like things are really tense at the moment. I can't really give you any advice, mostly because I've never been in this situation before. But I can tell that this seems to be a turbulent relationship and perhaps it's time to start asking yourself the hard questions and making some plans.   Here is a selection of fact sheets you might like to check out.    http://au.reachout.com/Conflict-in-relationships http://au.reachout.com/Tips-for-communicating http://au.reachout.com/Listening-skills-worth-having http://au.reachout.com/Building-better-coping-skills http://au.reachout.com/All-about-problem-solving http://au.reachout.com/Why-do-people-get-angry http://au.reachout.com/Signs-of-an-abusive-relationship http://au.reachout.com/Dealing-with-divorce-and-custody   Most of these fact sheets are about how to keep your cool, communicate effectively and deal with conflict. I've also added in a few more based on some of the stuff you've mentioned above. I know there are quite a few, but I recommend having a browse of the ones that strike a chord with you. I know you've got a daughter in the midst of all this and I think some of these fact sheets will be able to teach you the skills needed to negotiate through your current situation without having too big of an impact on your relationship with your daughter.   Atma ... View more

@Bee   Now I must apologise for the late reply! I am so glad to hear that being on RO.com has helped you out, particularly around overcoming some tough situations.   I always enjoy reading your T2P posts. You've really got the technique down pat. I still struggle on a daily basis not to get caught up in negative thoughts.   Keep up the great work everyone posting their negatives and turning them into positives. You're all setting yourselves up for a lifetime of seeing positives! How awesome is that thought? ... View more

Hey all,   I'm not new here but I really, really wanted to answer these q's!     1. What is your favourite item that you wear and why? At the moment it is my brand new boots. They're black, short and remind me of a very tame version of cowboy boots, tame meanting without the studs or tassles!   2. What is something that you are grateful for at the moment? Parents who make me home cooked meals!   3. Who is someone you admire and why? I admire most people who have passion. At the moment it's a friend of mine who picked up, moved to Cambodia and decided she'd volunteer for 18months! Without being paid! You've got to be pretty awesome to do that in my opinion!   4. Tell us a book you have read/film you have watched lately... I tried to watch the new movie of Anna Karenina, but it is wayy too arty farty for my tastes. I love the classics but I think Anna K got ruined by this movie. I am nearing the end of Book 3, Part 2 or Game of Thrones. LOVE   5. What would you want to learn if given the chance to learn it instantly? ooo the possibilities! Probably I'd want to learn how to be the best social worker I can by sponging up every know fact about working with people I could get my hands on!     ... View more

Hey Presto,   I enjoyed reading your story, not because I enjoy hearing about all the stuff that's making you feel down, but because I used to be in a very similar position to where you're at now, and I was able to work my way out of it. These days I'm back on top, but I didn't always feel like I was.   I totally get how frustrating it can be when you're feeling like you're failing all the time. I went through a period of failing my studies, I know it isn't the same as not being able to keep a job, but pretty soon I started feeling terrible, I couldn't sleep at night and did most of my sleeping during the day, I cried a lot when I went to bed and I started scoffing down a lot of food even when I wasn't hungry. I knew that I had the symptoms of depression, but I spend a good year suffering from them before I decided it was time to seek some help. For some reason I thought what I was going through was normal and then one day I decided I wasn't going to put up with it anymore.   I wanted to share this with you in the hopes that it'd encourage you to talk to a health professional. Telling your story online is a great first step, and telling your story to someone in person can be hard, but I really encourage you to look into it. Whatever you're going through a GP will be able to help you out.   If I regret anything I've done recently, it was sitting around and suffering in silence, while I put on my 'I'm ok' mask for everyone else.   Goodluck with everything!   Atma ... View more

Hi Spudee,   I just wanted to back up with ElleBelle  mentioned about volunteering.    When I was in highschool I missed out on my workplacements or any part-time work due to illness. When I entered the adult world I have no skills or experience, but I got involved volunteering with a couple of programs. I learnt some really wonderful skills like communication and I increased my confidence by getting involved.    I've volunteered with three different organisations over the years and all three have eventually resulted in paid employment. I'm not saying this is a definate, but people really value the work of volunteers and the skills and experience can really make you stand out when you go to join the workforce.   If your son is interested, then encourage him to get involved in some ourdoorsy volunteer opportunities!   Atma ... View more

Hi sjaeger,   Wow it sounds like the last few weeks have been really hectic, particuarly around your support networks and moving to new services and getting to know new health professionals. There must be a lot going on in your head at the moment.   It sounds to me like what has happend is that your support networks have thought you'd be better off working with out health professionals but in the midst your voice and opinions have been lost. I can really understand how it can make you feel when your voice is surrounded by a sea of other ideas and opinions and it feels like what you've got to say hasn't been heard. Sometimes health professionals themselves can be really intimidating and expressing your opinion can be hard to do.   I'm wondering whether you'd feel comfortable sharing your thoughts here with members of your current mental health team? They're probably the best people to help guide your through this period of transition. Also you've mentioned a lot about health professionals but maybe there are friends or family members who might be able to join your support network during this rough patch.   You might like to check out some of the info we have here at RO.com. There is this great page all about professional help where you might discover some great info that'll help you out! ... View more

Hi Sharky,   I just finished reading your latest post and what really stood out for me was that you've stopped enjoying the things that you used to use for self care.   I guess the reason this stood out to me the most is that when this happens to me I know it's time to seek some help with what I'm struggling through. When I know all my resources won't get me through and I'm only focused on one question or thought I know I'm about to reach crisis point and that I'll have to bring in reinforcements for some help.   I wanted to share that with you because I know how desperate you can start feeling when you reach that stage and I really wanted to make sure that you're looking after yourself during this time. I really, really encourage you to seek some help. I'm not a man, but I do understand the internal struggle of putting on a brave face and looking strong. I wear that mask all the time. But lately I've learnt that I don't always need to wear it, yes it can be helpful at times, but at other times I can let it go.   Talking to MensLine might be one of those times where you can drop your mask.   I can see your frustration and anger coming across in this post. There is a lot about internal struggles as well and I know you've mentioned that you're not feeling suicidal, but even wishing that you'd never been born is a hard place to be in.   I am really backing you man, I'd love to hear about that call to MensLine if it ever goes through!     ... View more