i am sad and depressed i HATE school with a passion its not fair that i wanna drop out but yet i have to complete year 10, i feel drained emotionally and physical and always in need to cry, i hate waking up in the morning getting up for school, when i walk through the gates i feel like theirs a weight holding my shoulders down and i cant breathe properly i am in consent need to get out as soon as possible, i can't focus on anything, i have so much N awards and my attendance sucks i'm sometimes in school once a week and i have all the teachers to remind me that i'm below 50%. i jigg as much as i can and sit and question myself sometimes i wanna get in a fight just so i can get suspended and have time away from school, i have a meltdown every day when i get up every morning and when i walk to to school, i talk to myself in my head and question what i'm doing with my life, i always feel constantly judged and i feel the need to make myself seem like a bitch towards everyone but deep down i'm drained. I always stare away from the board and think about just running out of school i always end up crying in school but i make sure no one see's me or i will feel like i will get judged or someone will think i'm doing it for attention, i have problems both in school and at home my mums going through a divorce and is having a hard time keeping her kids in good shape. and at school i feel like my life's been sucked right through my body, i hate Sunday's with a passion because the next day is school i instantly feel depressed and in need to cry all day.I honestly sit back and think what i'm going to do with my life. i hate feeling this pain inside just because of school, i have been making stupid choices because school has pushed me to that stage and im not proud of them. school hasn't been for me ever since I've been bullied in year 3 till year 8 from the same person and others, and ever since then i just hated it with a passion that i can't even explain. And i just don't know what to do.
I want to welcome you to the ReachOut community, thank you so much for sharing your story, it must have been difficult to write about such stressful and frustrating issue.
It's ok to hate school. Unfortunately, a lot of schools use a very traditional and rigid system, which can often make life very difficult for those who don't "click" with it. I can hear from what you said, that even the thought of going to school makes you stressed, anxious, and sad.
It might be a good idea to start considering what other options you have for your education. For example, there are a handful of flexible schools around Australia, which are focused on providing young people get an education, after traditional schooling has failed them. In general flexi schools have smaller classes, flexible timetables (meaning you don't always have to go into school everyday), and having a more relaxed approach to assignments (not having a strict due date, being able to ask your teahcer for more help than you normally would in a traditional school, etc.). You can find the website to a group of flexible schools here, with the closest flexible school in Sydney being St Mary's.
You might also be able to talk to a school adviser about potentially starting a TAFE course. By doing this, you also step away from the traditional schooling system, allowing you to spend a couple of days a week learning and working in a job you actually care about.
I really recommend that you read this article here by ReachOut, which talks about what to do when you are wanting to drop out.
I did want to check in with how you are feeling though. It sounds like you're going through an incredibly difficult time of your life at the moment, and it's negatively impacting your mental health. I was wondering if you had anyone to talk to about how you're feeling when you are feeling bad? It could be a parent, a teacher or a close friend. You could also call Kids HelpLine, or eheadspace, as these are both hotlines which get kids into contact with counsellors who can really listen, and give a lot of support and help.
I was also a little concerned about what you meant when you said that your mum is having a hard time keeping her kids in good shape, would you be able to tell me a little more about that? Is there anything that could help your family right now?
Hi @lauraz! Welcome to the forums!
I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and about your mum's divorce and the bullying. I remember hating high school too. I think a lot of people are in a similar position as you and can relate to your experiences. I think it's true when you say that school is not for everyone.
What is it about school that you hate? Thinking about the possible reasons might help you to find the best solution for you.
If physically attending school makes you anxious, distance education could be a good option. You'll probably have to get a note from a doctor explaining that you have a mental or physical health condition that prevents you from completing school. One of your parents or guardians will also have to be your supervisor, which may involve a bit of work for them in terms of mailing your work for example. But it might not be a good option if you are struggling with motivation to complete work or concentration, because distance education can provide a lot of work that you have to complete in sets as well as assignments and it all counts towards your attendance and grades. There are also 'web lessons' instead of physical lessons. They can still send you warning letters and N awards if you don't complete the set work. My sister has been doing distance education and is struggling to attend the lessons and complete the work due to her health issues and her day being taken up by appointments and therapies, so just a head's up.
I think seeing an advisor or meeting with someone in the education system could also help you work out your options. When it comes to school, there are usually a lot of ways you can tackle these kinds of issues. Some schools and services can also provide mentors to students who are going through a difficult time.
I think @Andrea-RO's advice is good too.
Sorry to hear your feeling this way.
You have done the right thing by talking about what you are feeling with regards to school and your mother's divorce, it is the first step to helping you to deal with everything going on.
In year 11 I started hating school and dreaded going each day. I suffered from anxiety and i use to have panic attacks about going to school. There was several teacher who would get up me when I constantly had tonsillitis, they believed I was just faking it even though I had doctors certificate etc. With my constant tonsillitis and my grandpa passing away it triggered the onset of my anxiety/depression. My grades @ at school did go down as a result and I did improve a bit over time but the added study stress made myself to decide not to qualify for an atar (NSW schooling). With the less added getting a high atar stress lead my grades to improve alot. I am now studying at University which I got into with early entry even though I had no atar and uni is so much better then school. The question is how did I deal with it all?
The first thing I did was speak up. I told my mother and she helped me talk things through and spoke to my friends about what I was going through and my friends helped me through going back to school. So a social network of friends or family is helpful. I also spoke to a doctor and counsellor to help develop some strategies on improving my mental health. Learning breathing techniques is a helpful way to calm down there lots of apps out there for that aswell, also counting down from 5 can help or using the 5 senses technique what do you see,hear,smell, taste, feel. Having a hobby helped, mine was painting it helped me and I also played indoor soccer which help to resolve any tension I was feeling inside.
It is also important to try and stay positive and strong as hard as it is to say I set myself a goal that I'd ace my art major work which was my favourite subject and I did, it gave me great hope and happiness to accomplish something I set out.
School isn't for everyone, there are many options you could go to Tafe, get an apprenticeship, distance schooling etc
The best thing to do is to talk to someone close to you and consider seeing your careers advisor at school.
Do you have a school counsellor you could talk to aswell?
I have just seen that the original post you made to our site was flagged as spam- we are really sorry for this and are glad that you made a second post to reach out
There were a couple of really tough experiences in your first post I am going to email you about now We would love to hear from you again soon to check in and see how you are
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