Feeling overwhelmed

@Eden1717 yeah it's mostly for executive functioning, but also to try to get my brain to just stop desperately seeking stimulation because at the moment it gets upset if there isn't at least two intresting things going on at any one time and then my depression gets worse...

Urgh I'm sorry about your periods...

I'm lucky in that I still have a few more options to bother my doctor with.

@Bananatime04 nah it just feels like all my energy is going towards my period...

I did have chocolate and a nap. And then a migraine. 

Feeling a bit better now though at least...

Sorry to hear that you are feeling tired and exhausted tonight @Tiny_leaf. Periods can be so terrible at times Hopefully you have been able to try out some of the techniques that Bananatime04 mentioned, as they all sound very helpful! It's good to hear that your psychologist has been supporting you lately, will you be seeing your psychiatrist soon about the provisional diagnosis that you have been discussing?

@Tiny_leaf  My sister has ADHD quite badly but didn't try meds for it until fairly recently. she has said that she didn't feel any major differences after taking it and that it didn't really help all that much. we did notice it helped a little but it is hard to tell. her psychiatrist who happens to also be mine (it is great when there are hardly any psychs in your town) said that apparently that is a good way to tell who has adhd/add because the people who take the meds and feel nothing usually do have it and the people who take it feel so so so much better usually don't he said something about the way the adhd brain processes the meds. so in short it really depends but my sisters experience was that it didn't feel like much but as to if it helped or not it is hard to tell. 

i think it is difficult because the meds do come with side effects for some people especially long term but that is probably something best talked about with your doctor. although i would say if you are looking to get the meds for executive functioning issues primarily i would be careful in my considerations of what was causing the issues as there are so many things that can cause that so even if you have add the meds might not make that issue go away if it is caused by something else. but that is just my thoughts on the issues, at any rate your doctor is the best place to go. 

as for the period stuff i hate that i often get really sick during mine and feel like i was hit by a truck it isnt nice but i am out of options for management so there isnt anything else i can do about it but i can sympathize with you on that one.   

I do not feel good...

My period started late and apparently my body has decided to make up for it by making it as physically exhausting as possible.

I'm so tired.

Thank you for looking @Bananatime04 

And thank you.

I might try asking my psychiatrist about it.

@Janine-RO I already have a provisional diagnosis from a psychologist, I just need my psychiatrist to confirm it.

Hey @Tiny_leaf , I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like that today. I totally agree with @Bananatime04 , you add such a massive amount to the forums. You always have so much caring and thoughtful advice to share and you're so generous with your time. 

It sounds like you've been really proactive in making your environment a better place for you, and it must really suck to come across barriers like the non subtitled video 😞 Hopefully the course can give you an alternative... I can completely understand the difficulties with looking for first person experiences with ADD medication. What would be the first step for you to take in terms of looking at a diagnosis? 

I feel really useless.

Some... urgh I don't even have the words someone decided to have non-subtitled video information as a necessary part of thier first aid course.

So I was/ am considering seeking an official ADD diagnosis and medications.

And then I remembered how much executive function that'd take....

Also it's really hard to find articles about AD(H)D meds that have people's first hand experiences and that aren't fear mongering. Which makes trying to figure this thing out a lot harder.

Ugh I'm gonna need a completely different approach...

@Janine-RO ahaha apparently not because I'm autistic and therefore it's all my fault!!

(Not meaning to be snarky at you by the way. Just grumpy in general... I know that you're nice.)

I'm making it not sensory hell firstly.

Blue/ green walls instead of hi-vis yellow ones for a start.

Plus a bed that's more like a cubby to make me feel more secure.

Plus ripping up and throwing out things that remind me of traumatic stuff.

And the the next priority is making it executive dysfunction proof, but that'll be a bit harder.

Ugh @Tiny_leaf  my heart really sank for you reading that, I'm so sorry that you were told that by a therapist, and I'm glad to hear that your brother's getting some help now. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. 

What are your plans for your room? 

@Eden1717 yeah I had similar problems with it...

@Tiny_leaf  I am glad that things are finally starting to move in the right direction for you. I can’t say I personally find CBT helpful I found it a bit too much like I was just meant to lie to myself about how I was feeling like it didn’t address anything it just told me to pretend I didn’t notice my problems or feelings anymore. 

Like 80% if what I needed when I was 14/ 15 was for my brother to stop abusing me.

But instead of getting the support i needed to... you know, live in a house where I was actually safe I was told by a therapist that if I didn't learn to share the TV I'd continue to get hit and that actually it was my fault because I'm autistic and therefore hard to deal with apparently.

Because why would you hold someone accountable for thier abuse or help them change their behaviour when you could just blame the victim and never think about it again.

@Janine-RO re-doing my bedroom now that I'm aware if my autism and how it affects me, reducing the amount of pressure that's put on me through school, working on the service dog.

Plus now I have support workers and my OT, and my brother's finally getting therapy instead of abusing me whenever he's upset. (He's still annoying and mean but he's not telling me to die anymore which is nice)

Heya @Tiny_leaf ,

It's so good to hear you've found an approach that works better for you, I can completely understand what you're saying about CBT be annoying and frustrating in those circumstances. Like you've said, it can be great for some issues, but it's definitely not a magic cure all. 

What changes are you looking at making? (If you don't mind me asking)

So it turns out that the most effective treatment so far was actually understanding and changing my living environment/ situation and not CBT trying to magically make me think positively about that shit.

Like no wonder CBT just annoys me it turns out there are/ were actual concrete problems that need/ed to be fixed.

It's almost like telling someone that all of their problems are because they're using thier brain incorrectly doesn't help anyone with any problem that doesn't live in a vacuum in thier mind.

(On a less bitter note it also explains why CBT helped with my social anxiety but not my depression)

@Sophia-RO just stuff in my bedroom and garden.