Helping a Friend

[Jdjaas]

One of my close friends has been self-harming and I'm really worried for her! I talked to her about it and she said it was better than killing herself, how can I help?

[N1ghtW1ng]

Hi @Jdjaas and welcome to ReachOut  

I've moved your post to a different section of the forums so that more people are likely to see it and share advice. I also edited out the details of self-harm as it is against the community guidelines (here). 

It is great that you want to help your friend, I wanted to check that you're feeling okay too, it's important that you take care of yourself as well. Reachout has some great articles on helping friends here that you might find useful. Have you or your friend spoken to anyone else, for example a teacher or parent, about these feelings?

[Bree-RO]

Hey there @Jdjaas you must be so worried for your friend. @N1ghtW1ng posted you to a good resource. In addition, unfortunately some people do resort to self harm as a coping mechanism. There are techniques they could begin to look at as an avenue around self-harm, for example some people stretch or use the rubber band technique. SCBS and Sane Australia are two really good helplines than can support you whilst you're helping your friend through this, you don't have to go it alone. And of course we are here to listen as well.  

[scared01]

Hi @Jdjaas 

Perhaps encouraging her to seek help from a teacher or a counsellor would be a good way to go. Offline supports  i beleieve would be beneficial. 

Headspace also has information about helping a friend. They also offer counselling sessions  so perhaps that could be something  to suggest to your friend and also for yourself. They are equipped in dealing with young people and have heaps of resources for those our age. Ive linked the page to helping a friend however if you browse around im sure youll  find some more information  suited  to you.

Also KidsHelpline have alot of information on how to help yourself as well as helping a friend. 

Id reccomend these services. Please take care of yourself too and keep talking here

[lokifish]

Hey @Jdjaas,

Everyone has already suggested a bunch of awesome resources so I don't have much to add, but I just wanted to say that you're a really wonderful person for wanting to support your friend unfortunately we're not always able to fix our friends' issues (often that requires professional help) but it's surprising how helpful we can be just by being there for someone, listening to them and reassuring them that we care

[Jdjaas]

To all,

Thank you so much for your advice, I truly appreciate it! It means so
much that you have gotten back to me so quickly, and want to help! I
will admit that it does affect me, mainly emotionally, but as long as
I stick with her I can help! And with amazing people like you helping
me, I can do it. Once again, thank you so much

[lokifish]

@Jdjaas no worries!

Also it's totally normal for something like this to affect you emotionally. What are some things that usually help you de-stress?

[less123321]

hey @Jdjaas I totally understand what you are going through, automatically just being there and reassuring them that you are going to be there through everything is probably the best thing you can say to someone going through something like this. Also encouraging them to go and get help is really important as well, Also needed to look after yourself is a massive part of it. helping someone else with their feelings doesn't seem like it but is really takes a toll on your health as well so making sure that you are ok and healthy before helping others will automatically make it easier to help others. Hope this helps!!