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I CAN FEEEL

...alot of stuff happened in my past they weren't always good, it made me sad about myself for a long time ...

I hated myself i felt bad...and kind of numb.

It got to the point where i thought I couldn't feel anything...not real pain ...or hate..or love...not for myself or for others.

But than something amazing happened there was a boy in my class...he never noticed me we talked once or twice.....i kept looking at him in class i liked his confidence, his witt and personality it made me happy to go to class each day just because he was their..

Till i found out he had a girlfriend it crushed me..and i wound up crying but..it made me realise that ...im not a feelingless monster...i fall in love deeply..but it was a matter of not feeling more a matter of ...finding someone ...almost like im a phone just trying to find the wifi conection which is weird ^.^

So i'm not a monster... even if he unknowingly crushed my fragile heart..i wish him all the best...and i am very happy...

I think from now on...i'lle learn to love myself above others...and one day im going to find someone who loves me for who i am and returns my feelings...

I get scared thinking about comitting to a relationship, letting someone in and trusting them is difficult and there's still a long way to go before i heal my mental problems...but for once i feel hope.

For now though I'm going to learn to love myself all my faults and errors...because i am beautifull inside and out...and everyone is beautifull.

Feel free to comment on your own stories of love...this is all so very new to me ^-^ but maybe i'm not doomed to misery..thankyou very much for reading this.

I love you. <3

Re: I CAN FEEEL

Hi @HappyCheerios, welcome the Reachout! It sounds like you've had a bit of a journey to get to a place of trying to practise self-love, but it seems like you're on a really positive path. Hopefully sharing your story will be helpful for others who can relate to what you've experienced Smiley Happy

Re: I CAN FEEEL

Hi @HappyCheerios(great name by the way!).

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and for sending out positive vibes across RO! I think it's awesome that you have such self awareness and have decided to take the time to love yourself. it sounds like you're in a great place at the moment and I'm so happy for you.

 

Sending positive vibes back your way!

Re: I CAN FEEEL

@HappyCheerios Your post is an amazing story of self-discovery, I really enjoyed reading it! Learning to love ones self can be one of the hardest things we do, but it's definitely one of the most important - after all, we're stuck with ourselves forever!

 

I also wanted to say I totally love your description of being like a phone trying to find a wifi-connection. I'm definitely going to have to use that one in the future!