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Re: I am having a hard time

@Taylor-RO  I got home yesterday to be greeted with heavy smoke and a fire not far from my home that is still out of control. I keep randomly bursting into tears because I am exhausted and beyond stressed I have been trying so hard to hold it together but everything is just collapsing in on me all at once the stuff to do with my mental health is completely gone to shit and everything outside me is also shit and I cannot take it anymore I really can’t I am too tired I can’t do it. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hi @Eden1717 , 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that the fires are still out of control close to your home, it has been such a distressing time, and I know that when the smoke has been really heavy where I live, I feel an awful sense of anxiety the whole time.

 

I hear your pain and exhaustion, I'm wondering if you can take time for yourself today to do whatever you need to do - whether that be cry, or sleep, or watch movies? You say you've been trying so hard to hold it together, I know that many of us have felt like that before, and it can be so exhausting. We are all here for you, you're not alone. 

 

 

 

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Re: I am having a hard time


@Eden1717 wrote:

 

@Bee Idk I still feel bad about the papers more scared really. I have tried sitting to write things down but I can’t do that either I literally cannot express it I even tried doing some art and couldn’t do that either. 

 


@Eden1717 I did read you post, and I did read a few more replies after this one.

It sounds like things have been feeling really overwhelming for you. You mentioned that you've tried to write about, and do some art it but weren't able to - it's really awesome that you tried to do so, even if it didn't work. The fact that even after the writing didn't work for you and you then tried some art, is incredibly awesome, and it says to me that you are trying to manage which sometimes is all we can do.

 

I can hear that you're struggling to talk about your experiences and that part of that is internal and another part is how others' react. As @Bre-RO said we aren't scared to talk about mental health experiences and we know how much bravery and courage it can take to open to us. You're doing a fabulous job! Heart

 

Image result for hug gif

 

 

Ps. sorry for not replying earlier


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 , just wanted to check in - how are you going today? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Janine-RO @Bee  thank you both I haven’t been able to reply the fire was very bad yesterday and we all had to pack and be ready to leave and you could see the flames from my house. We are all on alert and have been for 2 days and the weekend will be bad so we are all just staying packed and ready to leave but it is very hard to sleep. All the neighbors have been out and preparing. All you can see is ash and smoke and ash has been falling from the sky like snow. I am exhausted and didn’t get to sleep until 5am. I was shaking after I woke up 4 hours later and I am still on edge. Everything in my head is just getting worse and worse I have so much to do and I keep feeling like everything is my fault because of what happened. It is hard to explain. I am not going very well at all. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 

 

That sounds like an incredibly unsettling day for you and your community. It must be really difficult for you to take care of those basic needs such as sleep, when there is so much going on externally and internally. 

 

You've mentioned feeling like everything is your fault. That must be a painful thing to sit with and I can only imagine how uneasy this would all be making you feel.

 

What do you think you need today to cope? We're here to support you in whatever you think would be best for you in this moment.  

 

 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Bre-RO  I am literally at breaking point I can’t do this. The fire is going to get a lot worse over the next few days and again we must prepare to leave. I didn’t sleep again that is a week now and last night I woke up panicked 5 times after having repeated nightmares about my street burning down and having to run and hide while everything burned around me. I have been shaking all day, I have bust into tears 4 times today we have been living out of suitcases all week, one of the cars has broken down and I am supposed to be studying for a test I have to do in 2 days but have not had time and the test cannot be delayed. I have a bunch of stuff I have to do for uni that also cannot be delayed and I would have done it by now had my uni not screwed up but now I have to spend the next few days packing and being ready to leave while also doing about 100 hours worth of paper work and studying for a test. I keep being physically sick because I have been so stressed and can’t eat much because I just get sick after. I am exhausted but too scared to sleep. I cannot take this. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Omg @Eden1717 my heart is aching for you 😟 that sounds like such a horrible thing to deal with! I’m so so sorry.. all of this must be so incredibly overwhelming, I can definitely understand why it’s all making you feel like this!

Have you had a look at the weather for the next few days or the next week? Any rain?

When I start panicking it’s really important for me to get on top of my breathing and really focus on bringing that back to normal before doing anything else.. you can do this by testing breathing exercises (there’s lots of different ones if you just type it in on google).

Also do you reckon that if your parents contacted your teacher they would have more consideration towards your situation of needing more time as you’re currently dealing with so much! Or sitting with them one on one about what you’re going through and perhaps you could take the day of the test off for studying and self care, ready to do the test the next day?

I’m sorry I know that post wasn’t for me so I will now stop myself from replying to it all..

I’m here for you though Heart you’re not alone! Xx
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Re: I am having a hard time

@Bananatime04  There is nothing I can do to put off the uni stuff it is already late I am just allowed to hand it in late because it was not my fault that I wasn’t told I needed to do it. The weather is bad it is basically 40+ for the next 3 days and 0 rain. 

 

Here I am having not slept again at 5:15am shaking and crying, my stomach hurts and all I can smell is smoke from the fire. I am exhausted but I am scared to dream again and the smoke stinks and I just can’t do this 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 

 

Just checking in to see how things have been today? I really hope you were able to get some peace and rest this morning, I'm sure the lack of sleep isn't helping as well. We are all thinking of you and feeling sad that you're having to go through such a challenging time. Challenging is putting it lightly. We are also all so completely amazed at how strong you are.

 

We will be here to listen and support you.