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I don't know :/

Hey peoples. So... I don't where to start and i'm now sure if this is the right place to come but here I go. It's about my family. this family includes my parents, my younger sister and I. The problem lies with my sister and maybe the rest of the family (including myself). You see the thing is my sister is really mean. to me. and my parents. At first I thought it was a puberty thing where the person goes through many emotions. I mean I went to that stage and then realised my mistakes and matured into an adult. But my sister is a little different. She has just turned 15. Now let me list the problems. Firstly she calls us names. She calls us dumb, stupid, idiot, rat, dog, ugly, retard and constantly tells us shut up if we say something she doesn't like. She constantly mocks me and repeats what I say in a condescending way even if the topic isn't related to her. She would order my parents around but doesn't do any one favours such as a simple can you get me a glass of water. And finally she hits me and my mum. If a fight breaks out and things get really intense; screaming, shouting, mean words, and then finally she would come up to me and punch me. When I was younger I would hit her back but as I became older that getting physical is wrong. Now because she is younger the blame is thrown at me. Why are you doing this? It's all your fault. And what was I doing? I always try to stand up for my mum when the sister is being extremely rude but then I become the bad one. I have been dealing with with my sisters words for about 6 years when it started. She lacks empathy and is very selfish. She gets everything she asks for. Oh my god am I ranting now. Well, dealing with her words has put me in a very bad state multiple times. Especially when times are tough at school. Its come to the point where Ive stopped talking to my sister because of the toxicity she holds. I know it's wrong but I see myself going through a black hole if keep on talking to her. it's hard to hold a conversation with her because every time I have a opposing opinion on something she calls me dumb and a retard. My parents call me arrogant for not speaking to her. but I'm just looking out for myself. I just want to know how to make her into a better person. How to be the bigger person? My self-esteem has definitely been ruined due to calling me ugly so many times. 

Well I just needed to put my story out there. I just get really sad sometimes.

Re: I don't know :/

Hey @TiaWilliams104 ,

 

Welcome to the forum Smiley Happy.  I'm so sorry to read what's been happening for you.  It sounds like a stressful environment for you and your family.  I'm a bit concerned that you mentioned your sister hits you sometimes.  I wanted to check in to see if you're safe?

 

Has your sister seen a GP or psychologist about some of the anger or 'mean' issues that you alluded to?  How about you?  Have you seen anyone to chat about these things?  If you want to chat to someone, please call Kids Helpline on 1800 650 890; you can also livechat with a counsellor by following the link here.  You can also try the Family Relationships Advice Line 1800 050 321.  They may have some info for local services for you.

 

Of course we are here to help you too so please continue to reach out Smiley Happy

Re: I don't know :/

I guess I'm safe. it's just become really scary recently. I never know how hard she's gonna hit. And sometimes she would just throw things. At this point I would be screamed for starting the fight. And no one in the family has seen someone for help. My parents do mention during heated arguments that we might have to see someone but it never goes pass that point. We don't know how to manage her behaviour. 

I don't know who to talk to. I've been putting up with this for so long. I've either handled it myself or think it's not big of a deal and that all families have arguments. I've always been worried that if I talk to someone and say it out loud it wouldn't become a problem anymore and I won't be taken seriously. 

It's hard even writing here because the the main reason I haven't reached out until now is because I thought things would get better. That that would be the last fight. But it never is.

Re: I don't know :/

Hey @TiaWilliams104 ,

 

Reaching out is a wonderful first step.  I am so impressed with your courage for doing so. 

If you want to chat to someone, please call Kids Helpline on 1800 650 890.  They have trained counsellors 24/7 who are ready to listen to you.  Please give them a try and see if it helps.  You can also livechat with a counsellor by following the link here.  You can also try the Family Relationships Advice Line 1800 050 321.  They may have some info for local services for you.  These are some good starting options for you. Heart

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Re: I don't know :/

@TiaWilliams104 

 

Reading through what you have shared, it does sound like a hard situation. I would be scared to and worried if I was in your position. It is a courageous step that you are reaching out to seek support Smiley Happy. As sometimes its hard to share when you don't know the outcome. 

I have questions about what you have shared. The first one being while you have said that your sister has been causing problems for you and your parents, are there times where that is not the case in home? and what else have you been doing to help with you self care when experiencing this issue?