I feel so empty, not depressed, just empty.
In the past, maybe around April of 2023. I experienced lots of inner loneliness. Mainly because near the end of 2022 was one of the best times of my life, when that summer ended. Everything felt different. I didn't feel depressed but the air around me always felt like it was suffocating me. I never felt sad, or felt the need to cry. I just felt the constant feeling of emptiness. Eventually I started to just find ways to cope with it. Life's been great, but the slight feeling every time I sit down, it drains me out. I feel internally burned but externally surviving and couldn't be happier. I have previous childhood trauma if that counts to anything. I don't know, I have hobbies and I love doing those things. Just when I realize that, no matter what I do, I don't feel much. I feel great, but I don't actually feel anything? That makes me quite disappointed as no matter what I do I have the nagging feeling of, nothing.
I don't understand what to do, or how to help myself. I am a young teenager so I completely get if it just comes with aging, or maybe I'm just experiencing some type of PTSD? (I don't have ptsd as far as my knowledge goes). I just really would like advice on how to not always feel, so empty.
Comments
Hey @Pink_Grasshopper 
It’s really complicated and frustrating when you know things are objectively good, but you aren’t feeling anything. In my case, I didn’t really feel like I had any reason to not be okay. I was overwhelmed with how I was feeling and the guilt of not being okay so I suppressed how I felt until I couldn’t feel properly anymore. In every moment that was meant to be pleasurable there would be this silence where I realised that there was absolutely no emotion there. It became hard to continue to do things because it felt completely pointless.
I’m currently trying to work out how to regain sustained emotions so I can have proper relationships with people. I don’t know if you related to any of this, but I found talking to my therapist to be the most helpful thing. She has helped me to recognise/validate some of the bad experiences which surprisingly also made it easier to recognise the good experiences. I also found it helpful to do things whilst expecting to feel empty. That reduced some of the disappointment when things weren’t pleasurable and made it easier to still view the experience as good overall.
Being a teenager can cause challenges, but if you feel like something is negatively impacting your life, it’s important to receive support. I hope things begin to feel easier for you in time.
Welcome back to the Youth Community!
Thank you for your courage in opening up about how you've been feeling. I see that you're unsure of why you've been feeling empty and I understand that this can feel really frustrating. Sometimes, it's not clear why we feel a certain way during certain times and that's okay. I'm really glad to see that you're aware of and reflective of how you feel internally. It's also really great to see that you're proactive in seeking advice and support around this.
I'm wondering if you've had a chance to talk to someone you trust about how you've been feeling? We have a PeerChat service where you can talk to someone who might have gone through something similar. If you feel the need professional mental health support and are unsure of where to start, this article can be a helpful resource.
I'm glad to see that you also have hobbies that you love. What have you felt able to do for self-care during times when you feel empty?
Hi @Pink_Grasshopper 
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment. It's very brave of you to share your experience and reach out for advice. Feelings of emptiness or disconnection from your emotions can be very overwhelming and confusing. From what I know about depression, its symptoms can vary widely and, in some cases, may include feelings of overall numbness. Regardless, I was wondering whether you have talked to a trusted adult, friend or health professional. In addition, I have personally found that staying connected and spending time with friends and family can help me feel more present and attuned to my emotions. Wishing you all the best and hope you're taking care of yourself!
