I'm spiraling. I need help
Something isn't right..I don't feel like myself at all, and been working a lot to relieve my financial burden.. I havent got the time to relax and focus on myself. I go through the usual uni and work but when I'm alone, I feel incredibly lonely, and invisible. I notice that I feel invisible everywhere I go and I don't know how to change that. When I'm with my uni friends I feel like no one can hear me, when I ask questions and I get self conscious that I'm asking stupid questions. When I'm at home, I'm ignored whenever I talk, and never get asked how my day was. I feel so lonely and depressed even when I'm with friends, I don't feel connected, I don't think they care or like me.. Or the relationships I have are just not satisfying, I always stick to hanging out with people that are average to me. But the people I want to be closer with and love, I feel so intimidated and get scared they don't like me because they seem so positive and I don't want to be a negative Nancy and scare them away... this is stressing me out a lot
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All you can be is yourself and that is the best you have to offer. It is more than good enough. We accept other people as they are and people who are as kind as ourselves will return the favour. Sometimes we also focus on negative things about ourselves and positive things about other people. When my friend was having a tough time, I told him what I liked about him as a friend and he returned the favour which was lovely for the both of us. Could this help you here?
As I read this @codeblue, I was thinking... wait, did I write this post?! Totally get where you're coming from on pretty much all counts. Been chasing my tail with finances for months and have been so strung out emotionally for such a long time and it just hasn't let up at all.
When you don't get any relief from all the shite that goes on, it's really easy to start thinking negatively. As you mentioned, you even start thinking negatively ABOUT thinking negatively... and here comes the 'but'.
We get up every morning, and we do what we have to. When times are tough, there's some incredible strength in that. Believe me, I know as well as anyone how difficult it can be when you don't feel there's anyone fulfilling of or even attentive to your needs. But it sounds like there are people around you that do care and you care about in return, which is pretty great in and of itself.
Don't ever feel like you're not good enough. The simple fact that those people want to be in your company should tell you that you have something to offer them. Everybody's different, and it doesn't do you any good to feel bad about not being something that you aren't.
Besides, if who you really are scares somebody away, then chances are they weren't the right people to surround yourself with in the first place. Trying to be something other than you are is just not sustainable.
My advice would be to just be yourself, and don't be afraid to try and get closer to those people. If it's meant to be, it'll be 🙂 and if not, at least you'll know and can stop torturing yourself about it!
Hi @codeblue,
it sounds like you have had a lot on your plate.
I'm sorry you've been feeling this way 
I've felt this way before, especially being self-conscious about asking silly questions. But then I realised no question is a silly question 
. Have you ever spoken to your uni friends about it? Or feel comfortable to do so?
It's really good to hear that you do have people that you want to be closer to and love. When you say you don't want to be a negative Nancy can you elaborate on this?
Here for you
Hello @codeblue
That indeed sounds very stressful. I bet these negative thoughts are quite overwhelming as well. Have you seen a psychologist? You said it's depression and to me it certainly does sound like it. Maybe a psychologist can give you some advice and proceed to antidepressants. That would help with the mood.
The friends thing, well I don't want to say make new, more meaning friends so maybe try asking them how they are feeling. This way if they open up to you, you'll feel easier to open up to them and this will hopefully develop into the deeper relationship you've been looking for.
Hey @codeblue, it sounds like you're feeling like you don't have much balance in your life at the moment. I know it's really hard when you're working and studying to find time for self-care, but it's so important for your wellbeing. You could try some of these, or perhaps you have some techniques that have worked for you in the past? 🙂
Have you spoken to anyone else about how you feel? Maybe a counsellor at uni?
