I tried to get help.
I have had the characteristics of both severe depression and social anxiety since i was 13. Im now 17 and my mum still hasn't come to terms that i actually need help.
To deal with the constant pain and fear, i took up smoking. Yes i realise it was a dumb move. And i want to quit. Kinda the point of my name. Anyway.
i asked mum for help. I asked her to support me in my decision to stop. To get better.
i was returned with the response "get new friends, get a job. Only you can change yourself".
So. Yep. Now all i want to dk is smoke.
All of my motivation to quit was crushed by the person that wants me to stop.
Im kinda just venting. Thanks for reading.
Comments
it's really refreshing that you want to live a healthier lifestyle and want to quit smoking.
Change is much easier when people around you are supportive so it's understandable that you feel like giving up after your mum's response.
Recognise that you are strong enough to change just like you are strong enough to decide you want to change.
Here's a link that might help.
Stay strong @tryingtochange 🙂
Hey @tryingtochange,
Welcome to ReachOut! How are you going? Trying to quit smoking is a great thing to do. It's too bad you didn't get the support you hoped for from your mum, but you can get plenty of support from us here at RO.
Have any of the tips the others suggested been useful to you?
Cheers,
blithe
Venting is always good and that you want to seek help is so awesome. I can definitely see how you would lose motivation but you are so strong, you came here for a reason and you just need to do this for you and keep trying and dont stop and eventually your mum will come to terms with it.
Let us know how you go 🙂
We are always here to support you even if you just want to vent
Hi @tryingtochange !! It can be pretty devastating to ask for help from someone close to you who you would expect to help you, only to be shut down. It can be really hard trying to quit smoking, especially if you use it as a coping mechanism for your emotions as you have described, but the fact that you've realised that it's not the best thing to do is great!!
Definitely check out the resources @lanejane has provided, and it also might be worth looking up drug and alcohol counselling services in your area. Here is a list of information providers and services for alcohol and drugs, and it has both national and state-specific services. And you can always come back here if you need some support or just to vent
Good luck with everything, and keep us posted 🙂
Hey @tryingtochange - Welcome to the ReachOut forums 
Dealing with mental illness is tough. Sometimes, there is no "right or wrong" with how we try and deal to get through it. We just do what we need to do at the time to cope (like taking up smoking). The hard part is, sometimes these things we take up turn in to bad habits and it can be really difficult to get back on track. You feel like you're so far in you can't get out without the help and support from those around you... and if you don't have that support it almost feels hopeless.
But you know, it's not hopeless. The fact that you have even come to ReachOut to share your story and get some advice shows that you are courageous and do have a lot of strength in you. You also did try to seek support from your mum which shows that you are commited to changing - you just need a little bit of help to do it. I wonder if you could try reaching out to someone else in your life? Like a friend, or another trusted adult? When I was 17 I actually reached out to my art teacher at school and he was really helpful. He helped me tune all my negative stuff into painting which worked wonders for me at the time.
The other thing is that there are quitlines for smoke and there is online counselling for depression... and they are all free. eheadspace, lifeline and kids helpline all have free services that can be accessed by you to seek some support and guidance. Lots of people on ReachOut use these services and find it really helpful just to be able to talk out what they are going through. Reckon you could give one of these a shot?
Let me know 
