cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
Join an event. Happening today.

Pressure (TW: Discussion of weight)

Hi everyone. I feel really stuck right now. At the end of last year I was hospitalised for being severely underweight. I am autistic and have ARFID, and with it being a really stressful time of my life, I stopped eating. Now, I am out of hospital, and have been since the end of December. I appear to be medically stable, I am at my previous weight. I know the importance of not going backwards, and I am seeing a GP, dietician, and psychologist. However, there seems to be a lack of clear communication. My GP is mainly focused on treating my anxiety; she barely speaks about my weight and gave me a goal, which I according to her scales and my home scales. My dietician however keeps pressuring me to increase the amount of food I am eating so that I can put on more weight. Her scales say I am less than the other two scales, which doesn't help, even though I have discussed this with her. Not only this, but she discusses our visits with my mother, who puts A LOT of pressure on me to eat more and gain more weight. I am twenty years old. I understand talking to professionals, but having my mother tell me constantly what I should be doing with my body makes me want to scream. The concept of gaining weight doesn't scare me, but changing my eating habits does, and frankly I just want to move on with my life. I am happy as I am and don't have any motivation to make any changes. I really wish people would just leave me alone and stop making me feel like I'm not enough. I don't know how to communicate this all properly. I feel like because ARFID is such a poorly understood condition that people will just assume that I have body image issues and not care what I have to say. And in the past my mother has threatened to not support me at university if I don't keep trying to gain weight, so I always feel like I am walking on eggshells around this topic. I don't know if anyone can give me any advice from an outside perspective, but I would be very grateful. 

autisticbananas
autisticbananasPosted 30-03-2023 08:01 PM

Comments

 
Erin_RO
Erin_ROPosted 31-03-2023 02:29 PM

Hi @autisticbananas

I just wanted to chime in to welcome you to the community and to thank you for sharing what sounds like an extremely difficult situation. You have had a lot going on with your health, treatment, and not really feeling heard when it comes to your Mum and your wellbeing. I can sense how hard it has been not having your voice heard when it comes to your treatment. It must feel like you don't have a lot of control over much right now. I also really want to acknolwedge how unbelievably strong you are to have been managing some really tough health stuff and going to Uni as well. I am a firm believer that people who carry health and/or mental health challenges as they journey through life are some of the strongest and most capable people I have ever come across. 

I am curious to know whether you do have people in your life that support your voice or ideas that you have around your wellbeing? 

I am not sure if you have ever come across this service in the past, but the Butterfly Foundation may be another place where you can feel safe and heard. They also have resources around ASD and ARFID that you may find helpful like this one

 
Chloe-RO
Chloe-ROPosted 30-03-2023 09:44 PM

Thank you for sharing @autisticbananas . It takes a lot to be able to communicate what you have just communicated to us. We read your frustrations and hear that you just want to be left alone because you are happy as you are and have no motivation to change. We acknowledge your honesty in this.

 

It is understandable that you are looking for another perspective on this situation. It sounds like there are so many people trying to 'help' you, but are in turn adding more pressure and stress for you. Is that right?

 

As another perspective, perhaps everyone's worry about your weight is because you have been hospitalised in the past, and they are concerned that it will happen again? Do you think so?

 

It sounds like communication is so important and posted that you do not know how to communicate this properly. Sometimes, these difficult conversations can be so tough! This article may be helpful for you. It shows how one can tackle a challenging conversation.

 

Hope you find it helpful.

Welcome back!

Join the Community

ReachOut is confidential & anonymous.

8+ characters, 1 capital letter, 1 lower case letter and 1 number

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.