I hate myself, not only my body but my mind. I hate how I’m selfish, I hate how I’m lazy and can never focus, I hate how I have no passions, nothing brings me joy or excitement anymore besides attention and I hate it. I don’t look forward to anything but lazing around. My life has no purpose but to live and its horrible. I don’t enjoy anything about what I’m studying and where I work. I don’t enjoy anything about where I’m going in life, I don’t enjoy anything about where my future looks like its going right now. Nothing interests me, I just want to watch tv and laze around. The idea of having a family one day and a husband probably will never happen because I’m such a horrible person with nothing going for me. I don’t even know where I belong anymore, where I want to live, its like everywhere I go something is missing. I hate how dumb I am, how inexperienced I am, how I shouldn’t even have anything to worry about because I’m so lucky for what has been handed to me.
I'm sorry to hear how you've been feeling recently. Dealing with negative and hateful self-talk can be draining, and make it difficult to enjoy things. ReachOut has a whole list of articles over here on self-talk that may be helpful for you to read, including challenging negative thoughts which has some questions that you can use to challenge negative thinking, what do you think?
In the past, have there being career paths or hobbies that have interested you?
I was also wondering, do you have any professional support or a support network of friends or family around you that you can turn to for support during this time?