Before reading this , I urge everyone to reply to my subject with a open and unbiased mind. And my aim with this post is not to say this is a bad religion or sound accusing.
I seem to be having an massive conflict right now, it's about religion, from the time I was young, my family have been Christian ,but growing up my mother just reinforced the idea of being "born" Christian and must not be "disgraceful" in being anything else, you could say she is a hardcore Christian, my father is a more relaxed religiously, he is rarely mentioning Christian ideas to me but he goes to church. He is also more opened minded in understanding other religions.
Anyway, throughout my 16 years, I have been in and out of being Christian, one weekend I go to church and sing my heart out and feel good, the next weekend I feel lonely and I feel so confused and angry, about who am I (Christian or not). This has repeated for years and years now. May I also mention that I am in a Christian school, and you maybe asking why, I chose to go there to gain a better education, than my previous public school, I also feel disconnected to my old friends in the public school.
And so the questions remains;
- What should I do, how shall I decide,
- how will I explain this to my parents, (I have tried to explain my views before, but my mum is not being opened minded and rejects them), without trying to make my mum to try to change me for the rest of my life.
- how will some of the friends I made in my Christian school react
- what if I make the wrong decision?
It makes my feel scared, I admit I don't know what is out there.
Re: Religious turmoil.
You don't sound like you are accusing anything and I understand what you mean by an open mind. First off, I can relate completely to you. On my mother's side, her mother has very strong beliefs about her religion and wants us to think the same. I still haven't made up my mind, but if you have, as long as you believe that it's what you want, it can't be wrong. If the friends at your Christian school decide to leave you, then they aren't much for friends, are they? I also go to a religious school where most of the people there didn't believe in that religion at all. This is a story about a girl with different beliefs to her parents. There are some really helpful factsheets about spirituality and religion on RO, if you haven't seen them already, here is one about spirituality. Also, this is a past topic about religion that might be helpful.
If you are unsure whether or not to choose being Christian or not then don't. Sit in the middle, agnostic I think the word is.
It might also help if you look up other religions and such, open your mind to other religions out there.
I hope this post was helpful to you and let us know how you go or if you need any more help
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Re: Religious turmoil.
I can relate to how you feel. My whole family is very Christian and I am the black sheep in it all.
For me, personally, I came to the conclusion that religion wasn't for me but it took me a couple of years of really giving it a good go before I made that decision. That said, scientifically speaking, a lack of evidence doesn't prove something doesn't exist.
I eventually realised that me being a Christian or not was more important to my parents to make them feel better about me. As far as they're concerned, "I worship in my own way" because I believe my relationship with religion is a personal one that doesn't need groups or ceremonies.
I think she's come to be happy with that but it took time.
I think ultimately what's important is that you're happy. If you make the "wrong" decision, you can always change your mind.
Re: Religious turmoil.
I understand that feeling and it must be really difficult for you, you should be proud of yourself that you came on here and shared how you are feeling and what you are going through.
I am Christian myself and just like you I went in and out of Christianity and then and even though I have always believed in God, I hate religion, I dont go to Church at all and I hate being judged by how I live and what I do so I wasnt very strong in it and then after a few years I re-discovered my Christianity and I dont go to Church still but I am definitely more strong in my faith than I used to be but that was my decision.
I think you should go with your heart, if you feel like you need to explore something else then go ahead and do that, God is not going anywhere and if you choose to not believe at all that is purely your choice, do what your heart tells you. You are young, you are in a time of your life where you are exploring and if you are scared of telling your parents maybe write it down and give them a letter and tell them that you need to find yourself, do you think that would help?
I went to a Catholic school and I had Catholic friends even though I wasnt and they accepted me for me, Christianity is about acceptance, Jesus accepted all kinds of people and if they are your real friends they will understand and respect your decision.
Life is never perfect, we dont make right decisions all the time and if you decide that it was the wrong choice for you then you can always go back to Christianity (God isn't going anywhere) but again you are young and you just need to find yourself and enjoy your life because it is YOURS.
I hope that helps
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
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