Situation that happened - Unsure

Hey @Cinnamon_Moose can really hear how much this situation is impacting you. The idea of her having some kind of issue with you is a genuinely scary thought -  no one wants to feel like their friends are rolling their eyes at them. I hear you that you want her to be honest with you - in the past, have you generally experienced this person to be honest and trustworthy? Are you worried about what might happen if you were to talk to her directly about this event? 

It is very possible she was rolling her eyes about something else and happened to look towards you at the same time. It's possible she was rolling her eyes at you, but maybe not for the reasons you are imagining (i.e. perhaps it was for a playful reason, like she was rolling her eyes in a more light hearted, joking way). The only way to know for sure would be to talk to her about it. 

Sometimes we can create extensive narratives in our minds about the nature of how things are - sometimes we're right, but we can also be wrong. It's normal for our brains to make assumptions - it's how we learn. It sounds like perhaps you have had to learn to be very observant of other people's reactions to you, and that your brain is making assumptions that are automatically centred on negative outcomes - like being disliked by others. I'm wondering if this is something that is worth perhaps seeking some counselling or therapy support for? 

Hi !! Great advice!! I have sought therapy for these issues before. But I struggle to be fully focused and I cant believe anything they say. I am too convinced i am right. Not in a cocky way, but a overthinking way (if that makes sense) the only true way i get over something is forgetting about it eventually. 

I think if she werent to smile at me the way she did after it happened i would be chill but im just ughhhhh not sure. It doesnt make sense as to why that time and not the others. So maybe thats a good thing? Surely they werent just standing in silence waiting for my arrival before I got there. Surely they were just talking beforehand which makes it being a reaction to something more reasonable. 

I think she was already turned making a face before i even got there. If i saw that then surely I would of seen her aknowledge me beforehand that way the person next to her would of at least had a reference as to what she was rolling her eyes at. I need to stop, i know I do. We have had so many positive experiences. I think your final statement about assuming and being observant is so true. And it is because of her.

So my brain saw me arriving > her (trigger) eye rolling/making a disgusted face > then looking at me and smiling > To me this = Her getting annoyed that I am joining them and being in her prescence becuase I feel she dislikes me. I could look at it another way and think > Okay I can see her > Oh she made a face but i am not quite there yet and i dont think she has aknowledged me anyway, maybe I missed something? > oh? she smiled at me like that like that? what else do you do when you make eye contact with someone 

@Cinnamon_Moose I truly sense how much this is weighing on you at the moment, taking up all your focus. It's obvious this person means a lot to you. Perhaps you won't know until you talk to her. Or perhaps like you said, it will just take some time and it will resolve in your brain on its own.

Do you think perhaps it could be helpful to spend some time focusing on other things, to give yourself a little break from all these swirling thoughts? Like watching a familiar/comforting tv show, do something artistic or creative, or something like that? 

P.S. What you shared about therapy in itself is a good thing to take into therapy - talking about the fact that you just can't believe the therapist, cos maybe this relates to your own relationships as well, just some food for thought! 

I feel like am comfortable in all my relationships beside this one? We have had some great memories and 90% of the time there is 0 issue being in each others prescence. She treats me the same and intereacts the as she does everyone. 

But then there is times like this where I question everything. I do not know where we stand? if that makes sense. Is it good that she interacts with me positively? How should I take it when she does? Thats also what I question. When I look at the others around me I just dont seen anyone reacting to them like this. I think why me? 

I defintely need to see someone again. I feel like the issue I cant beleive the therapist is an issue in itself. Well not so much I dont believe, My opinion and beleif is just so strong it outweighs any logic.  Maybe If i could beleive that the above could have nothing to do with me then that would help and tie in to things 

@Cinnamon_Moose feelings and emotions are often a deeper experience than logic/reasoning. They're literally different parts of the brain, and sometimes that means that we can logically understand we probably shouldn't feel a certain way, but then still feel that way anyway. Definitely something you can chat to a therapist about to explore a bit more about what these emotions mean, why they are focused on one person in particular, and how you might be able to manage/express them healthily so they don't have such an impact on you. Glad to hear you're open to the idea of working with a therapist on some of these things, it can really help us to make sense of our minds and the way we respond to things/interact with the world. 

Thankyou so much for your response!! I have definitely had similar situations that I have overthought and then realised later that it was my own brain giving assuming. I think with this one though because I was right there its a lot tougher for me to think anything else. Although like I said once I calm down a little I can have a think. 

I do appreciate that she has never said anything bad about me but is she really going to tell the people closest to me that she hates me. Probably not. The reason she is on my radar in the first place is, there was this one time a few years back. She and a few of her friends were involved in this social media drama. Which by the way they are all way past that now and best of friends. Basically they were having a go at this one girl in their friend group. Butttt what I didnt realise is it was all a bit of friendly sacastic banter. So I put a post on insta for for god knows what reason. Saying can everyone just get along.... ect. and I wrote this whole paragraph about getting along. It was about them and all the drama I had been seeing but i didnt say that. Anyway the girl above commented something clearly sarcastic on my post. I think becuase she felt I was sticking my nose in their business and i had no idea what was going on.  I DMed her and told her it was not about them ect. (although it was sort of I just didnt want drama) and she was super chill about it. That was that. no further issues. No issues at School or online. About 6 months later she randomly unfollowed me on insta and from that moment I have never been relaxed since. Interesting because soooo many people have also unfollowed me too but I do not overthink about their interactions with me 

I do find it interesting that no one knows and or notices this stuff. I feel like if it was a common issue then more people would know? I have reached out to her about a comment she made one time. She told me she didnt mean anything by it and I believe her. I got this sense of calm when I recieved her message and we had a chat. So that was really positive. I just cant put my finger on what else could of been happening in this situation thats all. I was thinking that maybe someone next to her said something or they were just talking before I arrived and her reaction was to something else. She only turned around when we got there becuase she caught us or felt us come over possibly? IDK Maybe she only smiled at me becuase we made eye contact? you know how you do real quick when you make eye contact say out in public? To me it was sus though. But maybe I am just overthinking her smiling at me. If I didnt see what happened prior and we made eye contact maybe she would of just smiled at me anyway? ughhhhhh My brain. 

Oh I totally get you!! Overthinking can be very frustrating. It's good to know that you reached out in the past and it turned out to be positive. You could bring it up with her to get some clarity, that way it can take the edge off the stress and overthinking this is causing you. Sometimes I find that when I say something to someone about an issue that's been making me stressed I feel a lot better afterward because it takes a bit of weight off my shoulders. 

Wow this is fantastic advice. I have posted in several forums about previous overthinking episodes over the years and I really feel like you have understood me!! This is exactly what I mean. Thankyou for reading all that aswell! I know its long but the only way to explain on the internet. 

I would love to reach out to her. I have about another thing and it was just fine. But this happened a little ways ago now so she might not even remember. 

Focusing on the good. We have been in a class together, a sports class together and she chose me to be her partner one time when we needed to pick someone from the grade below/above. But whilst positive I feel like she only picked me because she had no choice. IDK we had fun though. Positive experience. So its not like she is embarrassed to be seen with me? in front of people if that makes sense. We shared a room to place our books and things so I saw her frequently during the days anyway. So its not like my prescence was new to her. But I also think what if i just havent noticed other things? well, im pretty observant so im sure I would have haha

I am thinking maybe we were going somehere and when she realised she would be stuck with me, she was annoyed? But again we have been put in the same area outside of our control before so it just doesnt make sense. Maybe thats the point im supposed to realise? 

Its just I remember the face she made when she looked at me. She smiled but it was quick, and the face you make when you get caught I feel. I also then think well, say the action I caught where she rolled her eyes did not take place. if we made eye contact anyway would she of just smiled at me? maybe i am reading to much in to it.