Stalking Issues
Hey guys my name is Scarlett and I really need some help / advice on a serious matter that I am dealing with.
Okay to put it quite bluntly I was sexually abused from the age of 7 till I was about 12 years old by a family friend. When I finally spoke out about it I was 13 and it wasn't a top priority as me and my family had moved away from the area where the incidents had occurred. Mainly because of this my psychologists say that this is the cause of my bulimia and depression but with treatment that is all being managed and under control.
The past three years have been great, I have my own little part time job and my confidence has increased drastically I dropped the case because it was just to much stress for me and I tried to put it at the back of my mind (As best as I could) My grade are great and my friends are really supportive and helpful towards me.
But now he is back in town. My mum believes because I am 16 years old I should be able to choose when I go to the police station or not. But I really am scared. He come to my work. He sits there staring at me. Waiting for me to come out. One time he waited for almost two hours for me to leave (Luckily I had close and after him saying some not-to-age-appropriate things to my ear he left)
He's started to hang around my school and where I hang out. One time I was coming home from school and i around at the shops for my bus when he showed up and started talking about how much he loved me when I was younger and how we were connected I told him that I did not like him in any way and sat next to some stranger who was waiting for the same bus as me.
I don't think my mum really understands how scared I am but how much I dislike the police. I am so scared that I don't want to leave the house just incase he follows me home or something just to find out where I live.
This has been going on for about 4 months now and I really need somebodies advice or help.
Yours Sincerely
Scarlett Mae
Comments
Hi @ScarlettMae
I agree with the advice and links that have been shared above. I just wanted to reiterate that it's very important to call the police. This behaviour is probably illegal and, as the victim, you have every right to protection from these actions of his.
If you're not comfortable doing it alone and your Mum doesn't want to join you — is there someone else who can go with you to the police station? It doesn't even have to be an adult, it can be a close friend or someone that you trust. You don't even have to tell them what you're going for, just that you need someone to go with you. I went with a friend once so that she could give a statement for something that happened to her and she cried into my shoulder for about half an hour afterwards. I didn't even know what it was until she told me a month later and even then I never asked what it was.
Of course, if you feel threatened in any way, call 000. It's precisely what they're there for. None of what's happening to you is your fault; you deserve to feel safe and this person is taking that away from you, which is illegal.
Hey @ScarlettMae - I just want to chime in here too and say that it doesn't matter that the case didn't go ahead before, what he is doing now not ok and the police can protect you with an AVO. I totally understand that you are scared of the police so maybe you want to it through first with 1800RESPECT (on the phone or webchat).
It is abosultely not on, please get in touch with 1800RESPECT as soon as possible.
We're here for you, let us know if you need any more info or support
Hi @ScarlettMae
I have just done some quick searching on reachout for you and here are some factsheets and resources i think would be worth reading.
http://au.reachout.com/sexual-assault-support this has numbers of people you can call for advise and support
Here are a few to start with;
1800 RESPECT
1800 737 732
Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence counselling phone and webchat. Free 24/7
1800respect.org.au
Adults Surviving Child Abuse
Counselling and support for survivors
1300 657 380
asca.org.au
Bravehearts
Counselling for survivors and child protection advocacy
1800 272 831
bravehearts.org.au
Hey @ScarlettMae
Thank you for sharing your story here, hopefully we can help you out.
I understand you reservation of going to the police and reporting him however if you feel unsafe at all i think you should contact the police straight away. Also if he is following you and bringing up things from the past i think you have the right to report him!!!
Have you spoken to your psychologist about this? i think it would be somehting important to bring up as they will be able to help you through the process.
Additionally, if you want call KidsHelp line on 1800 551 800 or visit your local headspace
http://www.headspace.org.au/headspace-centres
I think its really important that you have someone supporting you at this time as i imagine it would be quite scary for you however you are obviously a very very STRONG young woman. And have come along way from the past, and thats why i feel its important for you to get the feeling of safety and justice you deserve!!1
We are all here to support you! and would love for you to keep us up to date on it.
Hey Scarlett,
First of all, well done on coming on here and feeling strong about speaking to someone about this. My only advice I can give you is that you need to call 000 when he is around, without him realising you are calling the police. Let your manager know about your past and I am most certain they will support you.
It is important you let a higher authority know this, because only they can deal with the matter and can have him arrested for stalking and making intimidating conversations and inappropriate conversations.
I hope that helps.
Take care. X
