Stood up
So many of you may know my situation with my father. Well, for the past couple of days/weeks we have been exchanging messages and organising to meet up. Now me, being the naive 15 year old that i am, believed him 100% even after what he has done.
Now, i think we all know what its like to be stood up by friends, dates, etc. While i have been stood up by a certain friend a few times, this really got to me. My dad said on tuesday, i believe, 'we can organise details closer to the day' (sunday/today). I believed him but we hadn't talked since then. On saturday (yesterday), i still hadn't heard from him, but as i mentioned, im fairly naive and although i have trust issues, i allowed myself to be hopeful that we will organise on sunday morning.
I woke up today, with a text stating 'i have to go into the studio, ill text you when im back in __' (i dont know if i can mention the location). So i spent all day on the couch with my phone. keep in mind i was excited so i had made a bit of an effort to look nice. I may have an eating disorder, and to make sure that i looked nicer (i was fairly big the last time i saw him (3 years ago)) my restricted eating went from 3000kj at the most to a mere 1000 if that.
I had told all my friends about me meeting him, out of excitement. I also organised with my sister who is 8 to come with me to see him. She was pretty torn up about it too. I dont know if i can face everyone asking what it was like to see him again at school, i broke down today and i cant allow my friends to see that side of me.
This whole dilemma wouldnt be as bad if he lived nearby, but he is only in Victoria for work, and he flies out to Queensland on friday. so this was possibly the last chance i would ever have to see him.
Look, i dont know what the point of this message was, i just needed to vent i guess.
Comments
I gotta start by saying @Maez, I really commend your positivity and optimism. It's an amazing quality! It's tough to maintain it but it really does help when you run into tougher situations such as these. It's hard when things don't always go how we want them to and possibly even harder when you see it happen to someone you care about as well.
It's always normal to not want to share extremely personal things about ourselves and I'm sure most people understand. Putting our feelings into words can definitely help alleviate our feelings to a certain extent. Perhaps you could talk to your sister about it first? It may be easier to share some of your feelings with her since she may be feeling the same way. This way, you could comfort her and perhaps maybe even help you feel better yourself! We're also always here to listen whenever you want to speak 
@Maez I’m so sorry to hear about your situation with your father. It sounds really rough. It is completely natural to be disappointed and heartbroken after something like this. Feeling like we have been betrayed by someone we really love is just awful and can really trigger our trust issues. I’m so glad you reached out here and let us know. Thank you for being so brave and honest about your situation and feelings. It is not an easy thing to do. We are here to support you.
It was completely natural to get excited and tell your friends about this. And of course it makes sense that now you are hesitant to let them know what happened. But if you do share this with them, I have a feeling they will understand. It will also help you be yourself and not take on the extra burden of trying to come across as ‘strong’. Remember you are not obligated to be anything other than just yourself. I completely understand though that this can be very difficult to do. It might be a good idea to talk to a counsellor about this, especially since not only you are upset but you had to see your little sister be disappointed too. You can try a few different services including Kids Help Line which supports people 13-25 years of age. They have a webchat service at https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/get-help/webchat-counselling/ and phone counselling which you can access by calling 1 800 55 1800. You can also call Lifeline at 13 11 14 and they have online chat option as well at https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat. As well, there is eheadspace with an online chat option at https://www.eheadspace.org.au/.
I hope you can take good care of yourself this evening. Remember, we are always here to support you.
Mona
