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TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Welp here I go.

 

I been lonely for a full 5 years of Highschool, I'm in my final year of school but there is no change insight. I could probably count on my hands how many times I talked to a fellow student last year. They all hate me because I'm deaf. Even the deaf community disowns me. I have done absolutely nothing to hurt even a fly since early primary school. 

 

I was hoping that surviving till university so I could join a club or something like that would help but I realised how naive I was to think that in the first place when someone honest told me that I was going to struggle without the skills needed. I have no abilities to socialise and I'll still be deaf. 

 

My awful mental help reflects in my marks (pretty sure) and I lost the will power to self care. I can't honestly remember the last time I brushed my teeth. 

 

Attending a psychologist didn't help me in Year 7 and for sure won't help me now, like they just got me to write words in Venn diagrams. Sure seems like a great job if you only got to pretend you care about people for money.

 

Anyways I definitely feel like I'm losing the will to live. When will people in real life care?

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Hey @LonelyLucifer I'm so sorry you're going through this. You don't deserve to be treated this way, and people shouldn't be acting that way because you're deaf. It saddens me to hear that your psychologist was not helpful, it does feel like many professionals only work for the money and don't care about their clients. Psychologists should be prioritising the wellbeing of the patient Smiley Sad

 

Thank you for coming here and reaching out to us, we're here for you if you want more support or need to talk more HeartHeart

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Hi @LonelyLucifer 

 

I'm sorry the Deaf community isn't accepting of you Smiley Sad

Have you found any support in the wider disability community? I've found them to be really accepting in a way that people without disabilities tend not to be.

And you can always find support here's we welcome everyone.

 

I've had a bunch of psychologists like that, it took me a lot of tries before I found someone who cared.

 

What skills do you think you'd need to join a club in university.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, do you have an NDIS plan? A big part of my plan is teaching me stuff like socialization (I'm autistic)

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Hi @LonelyLucifer,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a challenging time during your high school years.  Being deaf is no reason to be judged or discriminated against.  I acknowledge that people can judgmental and this saddens me.  

 

As @featuringme and @Tiny_leaf mentioned it can be difficult to find a good fit when it comes to engaging with the right psychologist for you.  People have such different personalities and sometimes its a process to find the one that will really help.  Would you be willing to try another psych?

 

I'm wondering if you have a case worker or a social worker that can help link you in with clubs and other services that will support your ability to socialise?  Would your GP be able to make a referral for you to link in with a useful service?

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

I haven't really engaged with the rest of the disability community.

 

When I said "skills" I ment social skills like starting convos etc. I'm not on a NDIS plan currently as my parents and I decided at the time that there wasn't to get from them considering I already have Cochlear Implants.

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Thanks @MaryRO,

No I don't feel really willing to try another psych. I don't have a case or social worker currently and not sure what my GP can do, to be frank I don't even know who my GP is.

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

Hey @LonelyLucifer,

 

What do think will help you in connecting with others at school or outside of school?  Will you be willing to ask your parents if they can connect you with a GP, who can link you in with some services?  You may be able to speak to them about NDIS as well and see if it will be of benefit to you.   

 

I get that change can be daunting.  If you wave a magic wand what would you like to see in your future?  

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

@MaryRO

I'm not really sure what could help me. My parents will probably think I'm overreacting and just tell me to talk to students at school which has been their advice everytime I talked about my loneliness. I could probably investigate this idea further when I turn 18 in a few months. If had a wand I would definitely want to see me have friends (and a bunch of other irrelevant stuff) but ironically this only seems possible with a magic wand.

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

@LonelyLucifer so I've had a quick look. If you're under 26, the NDIS won't fund things like cochlears or hearing aids anyway because another service will look after that, but because a lot of other deaf people also struggle with social inclusion, they can give funding for services that specifically help with that, so if you're interested there are services out there.

One of my old support workers is deaf and they used the NDIS for Auslan classes and interpreting.

Re: TW: Been Suffering for 5 Years

@Tiny_leaf, I will definitely look into social services when I'm a bit more older. I had Auslan classes in high school but I wasn't doing well and was told to replace it with something else. Definitively not willing to try and learn Auslan again. Don't think it will help me put much anyways. I wanna be friends with hearing people but they are so judgmental of my Cochlears.