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TW: Did I get taken advantage of while black out drunk?

Hi. This is something new for me writing on a forum where nobody really knows me but I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I’m embarrassed and ashamed to talk to anyone in my life about it. 

 

this happened recently a few nights ago. I’m a nursing student and right now we are on break until Jan 8th. So I wanted to see a friend that I met last year (we haven’t got to hang out much) since I started school.  She’s always been good to me and i never really questioned if she’s a good person or not. Well, we decided to go to a small restaurant with a bar ... and her brother was visiting from another city. He decided to drive us. Her brother has always made it openly clear that he likes me. And I’ve always turned him down because I’m involved with someone very seriously. Anyways, he drove us to the place so me & his sister who is my friend , could have some drinks without worrying about drinking & driving. Okay so while we are there, I have maybe 2 or 3 beers and maybe 3 shots. That’s all I remember drinking. After that ... the night goes black and terribly wrong. When I say the night goes “black” i mean I do not remember leaving the restaurant or anything in between that time. All I know is he drove us back. Well it turns out that my friend left me with her brother to go sleep with another man. (I found this out the next day)  ....I’m gonna try my best to explain this story.  Okay so apparently my friend leaves me with her brother who I barley even know... and the next thing I know I wake up in the middle of a gas station parking lot ... in my OWN CAR. It’s 4 or 5 in the morning and there’s a cop banging on my window. I’m hysterical at this point because .... who let me drive in this condition?? Why did he let me leave like this?? How did I even make it to this gas station being blacked out?? So many terrifying thoughts rushing through my head. I could’ve been dead somewhere. I only had a few beers and 2 or 3 shots ... how did I end up this way?  Anyways , so I wake up in the parking lot... I’m not in the clothes I had on... my panties are gone. I’m wearing leggings and a tshirt , my hair is wet as if I was in a shower... and the cop tells me to call someone to come get me. The last thing I remembered was being in that restaurant. The only other thing I remember is being in a backseat laying down. I’m absolutely terrified by what happened. I don’t even want to talk to my friend because she wasn’t there and she left me ! I don’t want to talk to her brother because what kind of human let’s someone drive in this state that I was in? I have cuts and bruises on me from apparently falling. I found my clothes in a plastic bag in my car and they were covered in vomit. I feel so disgusted by the situation I have barley been able to sleep at night. I don’t know if he did something to me or took advantage of me because I don’t remember. But my underwear was gone when I woke up in that parking lot alone. I’m scared to death to even ask him because I was drunk and he could make up anything. I just don’t know how to get back to my normal self. I feel so depressed 

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Re: Did I get taken advantage of while black out drunk?

hi @mjaz0221

I am incredibly saddened to hear that you've gone through such a traumatic and difficult situation. Your feelings and concerns for what happened that night are valid and I can't even begin to imagine how distressed  you must be feeling. 

I can 100% understand why you might be feeling confused or unsure about what to do next, or who to talk to. It makes a lot of sense that you have lost trust in those you know related to the situation. When something like this happens, it can really cause you to second guess and reevalute a lot of things in your life. What might be most helpful for you is to talk to a professional who is somewhat removed from the situation. This way you will be able to talk to someone who has no preconceived notions about who could have done what, and who is only interested in listening to you and your story. 

I saw that you are currently residing in Australia, so I won't be able to recommend any Australian support lines., however, from what I can see America has the National Sexual Assault Hotline, or RAINN, which provides support, counselling, and advice for those who have, or may have, experienced sexual assault. This service is completely anonymous, and they are able to connect you to trained workers who are able to advise you on local supports and laws, so you can best navigate this situation. Their number is 800.656.HOPE (4673), and you can find about more about their services by visiting their website here.

 

I hope this helps, and that you are able to get the support you deserve Heart Heart

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Re: TW: Did I get taken advantage of while black out drunk?

Hi @mjaz0221

 

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It's completely understandable that you have lost trust in your friend after all those events. Hopefully, when you feel like you are able to, talk to her about the night and how when you're out (especially drinking), you'd like to stick together and not be left alone for both your own and her safety. I agree with @Andrea-RO and I think it is a good idea to get yourself some professional support. I'm glad you reached out here as well though. It's nice to get all the support you can get and I hope that we can support you throughout this. After you receive some professional help, or even during the process, remember you can also get advice, support or just comfort on this forum. We're here if you need it!  Heart