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TW trying to cope with too much

I'm learning a lot. Too much.

I'm learning about how trauma has affected me.

I'm learning about ways I was treated that have screwed things up for me without me even realizing.

I'm learning that I've internalized all these weird and useless expectations and criticisms. 

I'm learning about how crappy and self centered people can be.

I'm learning about the side effects of my new meds.

I'm learning way too much about the dynamics of conflict.

 

It's too much too fast. 

All I can do is wait for an appointment with someone I don't even trust yet and hope that I'm in that narrow zone between "you're too severe" and "I'm not wasting my time with something so minor".

 

I'm scared and I don't know why. I'm completely overwhelmed and I can't process all this stuff and saying this I can just hear all the crappy jokes about me apparently being a computer so I'm not gonna say any more about that because I can't deal with those comments rn.

 

I still need to properly grieve for my nana but right now I've got so much else going on i don't even have the space to do that so looks like that'll be an issue in 6-12 months.

 

My parents are arguing. I need them to stop talking. If they'd just shut up I'd maybe be able to hear myself think.

 

There's just too much.....

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

A frustrating thing with mental health issues and ASD in particular is not being able to handle intense emotions but also always having super intense emotions having to constantly regulate yourself is exhausting and trying to fit into the narrow band that we have decided is normal is a big ask for many people. When you have been struggling for so long and stress builds up you get to a point where anything is too much and you feel like you are about to break.

 

What are you hoping to get from the professionals? I think this is something we all need to consider often inside you just want desperately for someone to somehow make it stop and professionals are super important for creating a space to facilitate making changes but that’s the hard bit the fact that you are the one who actually has to do all the work. The only one who can really make decent headway in tackling the issues you are facing is you because that is where the problem is inside you and others can’t jump in and put the pieces together for you. It is crappy and often I feel the way our society is set up just makes everything even harder but that is where we are and it takes a lot of people to change that. 

 

Do you think identifying what you need to tackle in order of what is causing most stress right now would be helpful? Because you are right there is too much all at once but I think we need to manage our expectations with professional support as well because even though it can be great it is just a support it isn’t a fix all. I guess where I am trying to go and failing is that maybe you don’t have to wait to tackle one thing but that maybe you just need to break it down and do small parts at a time which will help over all and then you don’t have to wait for supports cause likely that is what the supports will say anyway..... 

 

i am am sorry if this comes off as rude I am struggling to articulate exactly what I mean but if it does I am sorry. 

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so overwhelmed at the moment @Tiny_leaf.. I can definitely relate so understand how distressing it can be!!

 

It sounds like there is alot going on for you at the moment and starting to touch on trauma is not an easy thing to cope with. Especially when you start to realise just how traumatic the event has been and how much it has impacted on you without even realising. It can be really hard to sit with and with all the other daily and personal stresses going on at the same time it becomes far too overwhelming to deal with. Have you got some supports in place? I know my psychologist is being extremely strict with me at the moment and refusing to being up my traumas until she knows we can do it safely and knows I have supports. So if you don't have them yet, maybe you could start working on building those while you wait to see a psychologist? And by building them I mean like opening up to some friends and family and just letting them know you are struggling and going to seek professional help but that you may also need their support too? Another thing my psychologist is strict on having in place first is grounding strategies so that when things do get too overwhelming and I'm about to lose it I can try practising these to calm me down and bring me back to the present. Have you heard of grounding strategies before?

 

Will this be your first time seeing a psychologist? Or have you seen one before? I think it's awesome that you're going to see one, it takes real courage to make the first appointment so be proud of that!!! ❤

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

Hey @Tiny_leaf ,

 

That's a really courageous and reflective post Heart.  It sounds like there's so much going on for you right now that it feels really overwhelming.  I can't imagine what you're going through but I do know what's it like to feel overwhelmed by the amount of things going on.  During times like these, I find there are three things that can help.  The first is reaching out to someone to convey how you're feeling (you've done this Smiley Happy).  The second is to break down the overwhelming amount of things into individual components.  For instance, if you have 12 tasks to complete and it feels 'too much', just focus on one task at a time.  Maybe start with the smallest first and slowly work from there.  Another thing is to take a few moments for yourself by doing something fun or relaxing.  Have you tried relaxation techniques before?  I find lying down and listening to a 10-15 minute guided meditation can help re-centre by body and mind.  It helps me cope when things are piling up.  I hope you're feeling a bit better Heart

 

 

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

I don't have the luxury of deciding what I need to do most or breaking it up into smaller parts.
I can't stop any of the stuff that is happening to me and wait until a convenient time. I have no control over this. It won't all just neatly put itself aside for a few months while I work through something.
My parents won't stop arguing so that I have less stuff to deal with (I have asked)
I cannot break events that are happening into small parts in the same way I'd divide something I need to do because they are all happening at once wether I like it or not.

I know that professional help won't help everything but I just need someone to help me manage the everything for long enough that I can actually make some progress.

I've seen a lot of psychologists, ranging from abusive to rude to just really unhelpful.

I can't meditate because I just end up dissociating and it just doesn't go well for me

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

Hey @Tiny_leaf ,

 

I'm so sorry to read about this and apologise that those techniques are not helpful; I understand why given the amount of things going on.  In your post you mentioned all the things that you've been learning, which seems like a huge amount of information, and so much of it is distressing.  It must be so difficult for you to process all of this.  You've also mentioned your parents arguing which must be distressing but also makes it difficult for you to have space to think as you've mentioned. And on top of that you haven't had time to grieve for your nana Smiley Sad  This all sounds like a really, really tough time.  However given the stress you're experiencing, I wanted to check in to see if you're safe?

 

I'm also sorry to read that your experience with psychologists has not been useful.  Are there any mental health services or professionals that you have found useful to help you make some progress?  In an earlier post, @Bre-RO provided a link to One Door Mental Health (see herewho have a great reputation and look to share peoples' personal stories.  I hope they can offer some support for you.

 

I wanted to acknowledge your courage and the fact that you've still been so supportive on this platform; it shows an incredible strength of character Heart.  We are all here for you.  

 

 

 

 

 

  

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

@Tiny_leaf  I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was easy, I know you can’t stop them all happening at once but sometimes we don’t have any other options than to just work on what you can when you can just to survive I am not meaning to be dismissive I just mean that sometimes options are limited and even though they will all keep happening at once you still have to do things when you can because you don’t have a choice. I am not saying it is easy either I just mean that even if you are not ok sometimes we can’t stop but we still have to do something anyway. Anyway I feel like I have upset you and that wasn’t my intention but I will leave you be as I am not sure I am helping. I hope things get better for you. 

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

@TOM-RO yeah, I'm safe.

 

I've tried every public health service I can find, they left me off worse than when I came to them..

 

Unfortunately One Door seems to be a NSW information service mostly..

(I'm in WA, and don't particularly need more information so idk if they can help)

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

@Eden1717 I'm sorry if I sounded harsh..

Honestly, I'm really used to being dismissed, and I'm still adjusting to the idea that it doesn't happen as much on RO, so I tend to get a bit defensive..

I'm sorry about that.

 

Have you ever tried something like what you're suggesting? How did it go?

Re: TW trying to cope with too much

@MB95 just replying in more depth because I didn't do that earlier..

I'm sorry that you can relate so much...

 

I don't really have any supports other than RO.

Because my illness is fairly severe and fairly long lasting most supports stop supporting pretty quickly.. I've stopped asking for it at this point.

Yeah, I know a few.

 

How did you find your psychologist? They sound really competent, which is kinda a novelty for me..

 

And I've seen lots of people, nothing has gone well with that so far at all...