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TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

I am a student living out of home. I don’t have lots of money, minimum wage pay. It’s really common for people my age to shop lift. I started shop lifting small items just to help myself out but a few weeks ago I got too carried away and I got caught. The police came to my house and issued me an offical caution and took my photo and details. I thought that would stop me from stealing but I can’t stop. I am constantly paranoid everyday that the police are going to come to my house and arrest me because I feel like I’m being watched at all times. I am also tapering off my antidepressants and I keep making stupid decisions and not thinking about them and then feeling like I’m going to vomit and have panic attacks all day. I stole some stuff the other day and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Will the police come for me? I can’t stop being sick thinking about it but I for some reason keep doing it

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

Hey @JASPA666666, welcome to the forums Smiley Happy By the sounds of it this is a difficult topic for you to talk about, so it's really brave of you to reach out

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much financially at the moment Smiley Sad And are having trouble with the police. It must feel like you're stuck because it's so hard to get by at the moment. Do you have any supports in your area or student services who might be able to help you out with this? I'm sorry you're also feeling paranoid, I can't imagine how scary it would feel to feel like you were constantly being watched. It makes sense that you're having such anxiety about this worry. Have you talked to your GP about the fact your tapering off your antidepressants?

Also just letting you know I added a trigger warning to your post

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

My gp has me on a plan for tapering off yes

i just keep making silly mistakes and regretting them immediately and then feeling like I can’t function

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

That honestly makes a lot of sense @JASPA666666, and I understand why it would be so difficult to stop - especially if it's become a habit. It's really great that you've been able to open up and talk about it with your GP though. 

In the meantime, it might be helpful to do your shopping with another person, just so that when they're around they can help distract you from the impulse to shoplift? And other that full grocery shops it might be a good idea to avoid going to the shops for the time being. Do you think something that is possible for you?

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

Hi @JASPA666666, I'm sorry that you are experiencing financial difficulties right now. I don't have many experience with that but I'm thinking whether the behaviour intervention will help the shop lifting behaviour. And if these behaviours do really influence your daily living and if you are comfortable with seeing a counsellor or psychologist, I would recommend you to tell them and they have confidentiality policy, so don't worry. And If you are a university student, I think each university has the service that helps students with financial problems, maybe you can ask for the student support.

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

@JASPA666666  wow, it sounds like are going through quite a challenging time right now- it's great that you are reaching out for advice here. This demonstrates self-awareness and motivation that will surely help you along the way. Perhaps reaching out to someone you trust may help with the anxiety right now? They help you with self-care, and maybe even help you manage your medication too. Have you thought about reaching out for professional mental health help too? They could help you seek out some clarity and give you some structure to follow. Let us know how you go. 

Re: TW: I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!!

Hey @JASPA666666, haven't seen you for a while, just wanna check whether things are going well with you. Do you find any solutions that help you to get financial support and to avoid shop lifting? Please feel free to speak and ask for help if you get any problem.