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TW: Loss of appetite when socialising

Social gatherings are often centered around food.. but it has become difficult for me and I'm unsure why.

I've been experiencing nausea to varying degrees in occasional social situations. As in, I can feel physically ill if I am eating and talking to someone at the same time (who isn't my close family or friends).  What worries me is that it is not always predictable and I don't know how long it will last.  And then often I feel completely fine again the moment the situation changes.  

Some of my friend's family are very hospitable and always want to feed guests, so I worry I will offend them if it seems like I'm not eating as I usually would.. (and there's certainly nothing wrong with the food or my stomach/appetite).  

I guess mostly it's stress related, but sometimes it happens with people I'm normally comfortable with.  Perhaps also just talking to, or even about, someone I'm attracted to is an issue for me which can give me this problem.

 

Any thoughts, similar experiences etc. are greatly appreciated 🙂

Plum_Mallard
Plum_MallardPosted 31-07-2023 10:58 AM

Comments

 
Blueberry_Kudu
Blueberry_KuduPosted 31-07-2023 03:57 PM

Hi @Plum_Mallard

Feeling nauseous is definitely a horrible feeling, I too have felt like that in nerve-wracking situations such as meeting new people and doing presentations. Although luckily, it is mainly just the feeling of nausea, nothing actually ever happens. Sometimes there are ways to manage it though, you could try having a peppermint, doing some breathing exercises or having warm tea or water. Just remember you're not alone in feeling this way

 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 31-07-2023 12:52 PM

Hi @Plum_Mallard

 

We're so glad you found our forums. Hopefully it helps to see that there are other people that can connect on what you're experiencing 😊

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling physically ill when eating and talking to people at the same time. It must be frustrating that it's unpredictable and that you feel fine once the situation changes, and being worried about offending people since you're not eating like usual. I wanted to ask how long this has been going on for? Have you ever experienced something like this with eating before?

 

You also mentioned that this happens with people you're not as close to, but also sometimes with people you're comfortable with. I wonder if anything has happened recently in your life that has been making you stressed around food or in general? You mentioned that talking to or about someone you're attracted to can give you this problem, have you noticed any other thoughts or conversations that make you feel this way? It could help to talk to your close friends and family about this issue, or with your GP, if you feel comfortable reaching out and haven't done so already.

 

We'd love to hear more about your experiences and what we can do to help 😊

 
 
Plum_Mallard
Plum_MallardPosted 31-07-2023 02:07 PM

Hi @Stormy-RO

Indeed I am grateful for the number of detailed responses. 

As you say, I am not usually stressed by food. I would say it mostly comes down to the anxiety of talking to someone attractive. This is something I have avoided, as I decided a couple of years ago that I don't need a relationship to be happy (which is still true, but part of me feels I should give it a go or I will never know what I'm missing out on). 

On reflection, my biggest worry in these situations is not having something to say. And when you sit in silence you don't know what people think of you.  A lot of the time I think of a hundred things to say afterwards which never get said. So the moment I leave I start thinking "When can I see them again?" and I hope it doesn't keep repeating like this.

 

Thank you for your support, certainly talking about myself in general is something I aim to be more open about with my friends and family. This is hopefully one step to achieving that.

 
 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 31-07-2023 03:51 PM

Hey @Plum_Mallard

 

It's great to hear that you can identify some of the situations where this anxiety is coming from. Even if it's something you've avoided, recognising where you can work on is a huge step. Your perspective on relationships is really admirable too, and it's okay to have conflicting feelings about what you want in that area of your life. 

 

It's totally understandable to be worried about what to say in a conversation. You're not alone in thinking of everything you could have said the minute you leave, and it can be really difficult to shake those thoughts until you see the person again. We have a resource on social anxiety which talks about this issue if you're interested. ReachOut also has a peerchat service which might be helpful if you want to work through these thoughts with someone. I hope the conversations with your friends and family go well 😊

 
Love_and_Light
Love_and_LightPosted 31-07-2023 12:49 PM

Hi @Plum_Mallard

I understand you're having a tough time with nausea in social situations. Have you spoken to a professional about this? Like a doctor or Psychologist? Since you mentioned that you think it's primarily stress-related, it could be stress-triggering anxiety that has caused nausea. I am no professional, just suggesting it could be a cause. 

 

I too have had similar issues with this both past and present, particularly when I got off my anti-depressants. It was mostly in the morning, but would sometimes occur at various times during the day. My issue is that I would gag (nausea would accompany) and it was because of my anxiety. Things that triggered my anxiety were thoughts that if I did something or said something wrong, I would embarrass myself, or If I was seeing someone I thought was attractive, I'd worry whether I looked 'good'.  Although It was mainly centered around work, it would still happen if I was going out with friends or meeting up with someone. It was difficult to speak when I could feel my body wanting to gag and I had to speak quickly to not gag. Furthermore, I have not experienced this for at least 3 months now but I remember it lasted a solid 4 months when I was experiencing this. It has been on and off for at least 2 years though but was very uncomfortable and frustrating so I feel your pain! 

 

I have found that I manipulate my brain by telling myself and believing that everything is going to be okay, and there is nothing to worry about. Generally, this works for me but it can be hard to 'believe'. I have also tried and distracted my thoughts by keeping myself busy or listening to music. However, these are difficult when I am interacting with someone or in conversation. I guess speaking to a professional may be able to provide more person-centered advice and solutions which are likely to help reduce your nausea. 

 

 
 
Plum_Mallard
Plum_MallardPosted 31-07-2023 01:44 PM

Hey @Love_and_Light

Thank you for sharing, I can definitely relate to your anxiety (about what you say and how you look).  I'm glad to hear you have not had problems with this for a few months.

I understand what you mean by changing your thinking. Believing is not always easy for sure, for me it can depend on my mood at the time and probably many other factors.  

 
Rara
RaraPosted 31-07-2023 12:37 PM

Hi @Plum_Mallard I am sorry to hear you’re going through this and must be very challenging. Sometimes social situations can make us nervous and stressed out which I have found can contribute to loss of appetite. Do you find some of these situations stressful? You said that you feel physically ill when you are talking and eating to someone at the same time. What’s running through you mind when you are and is it possible to find a quiet spot to eat before going to have a conversation with someone? 

I’ve experienced something similar and sometimes the loss of appetite is due to stress in my life already (uni, work etc). If I know I’m going somewhere that’s going to have food (besides a restaurant or cafe), I’ll often eat something even small beforehand just so I do know I’ve eaten and if someone asks I’ll just say “I ate beforehand but when I’m hungry again I’ll come grab something.” This sort of stops me having to feel like I have to eat something. I’ll even do an activity beforehand a quick walk or run or something that I’ll make me want to eat later so I can eat at the event. Otherwise I’ll eat something of comfort or small when I’m there if I am still experiencing a loss of appetite. 

I hope this helps and let us know how you’re going 😊

 
Lapis_Anteater
Lapis_AnteaterPosted 31-07-2023 11:31 AM

Hi @Plum_Mallard,

 

That sounds incredibly frustrating. Nausea can be due to so many things, but it may be due to anxiety. Do you find social situations stressful/anxiety inducing? If so, it may be useful to find a way to ground yourself. I personally like to take some deep breaths or listen to some music. Sitting with nausea can be so difficult especially when you are required to talk to other people. I really hope you find something that works for you.

 

A GP may be able to rule out any physical health causes. A therapist may be able to help you address any underlying stress or anxiety. Even though it might feel rude to reject food, your comfort is most important. Eat as much as you feel like you can manage. Hoepfully in time it will feel easier.

 

Best of luck.

 
LoganX
LoganXPosted 31-07-2023 11:17 AM

hey wanna talk i'm here if you wanna talk i'm not on here often cus i'm busy with work but when i'm free i can talk

 
 
LoganX
LoganXPosted 31-07-2023 11:24 AM

and i don't get like that but my gf does 

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