cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

I am finding it hard at the moment to connect with friends and family, not wanting to join in on the multitude of zoom calls that are happening or family dinners. What I really feel like doing is disconnecting and being alone in my own space for a while, but I am feeling pressured to socialise digitally and 'catch up' with everybody. I want to be alone but I live in a full house where everybody is at home (in the current situation). I want to retreat but I feel like I can't, and feel guilty for doing so. 

Highlighted

Re: Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

Hi @Eucalypt21, it's nice to meet you!

 

I think this is such an important topic you've brought up- like you I've seen so many messages about combating loneliness and staying connected with others, but barely anything addressing maintaining boundaries and personal space and preserving your social battery. But I'd imagine those things would be quite difficult and so important, especially in full houses with others home much more often.

 

Would communicating some of what you're feeling to those you live with or those organising digital catch ups be an option?

 

And is there anything so far you've found helpful in finding space to retreat? Let us know if you want help brainstorming ideas 🙂

 

It's so important to look after your needs, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty for doing so. We here for you!

 

*Edit* oops just realised that 'we're here for you' is a potentially counterproductive sentiment given the circumstances 😛 so we're here for you from afar... To the extent you want us to be... Lol. But really, sending moral support your way

Highlighted

Re: Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

Hi @hellofriend 

Thanks for your reply. Yeh I haven't talked to anyone about it yet, everyone seems so keen and excited to zoom all the time, but maybe I'll mention it. 

 

I've been going for walks to try and have some space, but otherwise I might nap or sleep to have a break, which maybe isn't ideal... Thanks again for the support Smiley Happy 

Highlighted

Re: Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

Hey @Eucalypt21 , 

 

I can really relate to that a lot - we were actually chatting in our team meeting this morning about how draining all of the Zoom / Google Hangout/ Facetime calls can be. On one hand, it' s lovely to connect with friends and loved ones. On the other hand, it's a really weird and unnatural way to communicate in a lot of ways- you don't have the normal non-verbal cues you'd normally have, you have those weird technical glitches, and the awkward moments when people talk over each other. Our brains aren't necessarily wired for communicating like this all of the time and it can be exhausting! 

 

I know a lot of people are trying to stay connected, which is wonderful - but I think it's totally okay to step away when you need to for self-care. Some people find it helpful to turn off the video component and just have the voice part, so that might be something that helps a bit? 

 

Getting personal space can also be really hard - do you enjoy taking walks, or jogging at all? A lot of people need space and time to themselves to decompress, and it can be really hard to get that at the moment. 

__________

Check out our community activities calendar for April 2020 here
Highlighted

Re: Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

No worries @Eucalypt21! I hope talking to them goes well if that's what you end up choosing to do. The walks sound like a good idea. I hope you're also able to find a way to get some space in your home without having to sleep more than you want to. Good luck!

Highlighted

Re: Wanting to disconnect when we're being encouraged to connect

Hey Smiley Happy

I want you to know that its okay to want to feel like taking time alone and to be by yourself and just work on yourself. I personally agree that it's not always a good idea to always be "connecting" and that finding a balance between personal time and taking time with your family is important.

I hope you find a way through this.