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Why am I always sad?

Hi, 

So this is very new to me and I’ve never done this before but I really needed to get things off my chest. 

 

I’m a 15 year old girl and I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for me to be happy. 

So I’d like to rant about a few things if that’s okay.

 

1. Coming out to parents/asking about seeing someone for my mental health. 

 

I’m bisexual but I don’t know how to come out to my parents. I’m out to my friends (the little amount that I have) and I feel like my mum would accept me but I’m scared that my dad will get angry and the risk of that happening makes not coming out very easy. 

Also I want to go see a GP to check on my mental health (because I think I might be depressed) but I’m scared to talk to my mum about it. I don’t know why it makes me so nervous but something about it makes it hard for me to talk to her about it. If anyone has felt like this please tell me what it means. 

 

2. Friends 

 

I don’t have very many friends at my school. To others it may seem like I have lots but I don’t really feel close enough to any of them to call them my actual friends. I see others hanging out with their friends and then think about how no one ever invites me to hang out with them. I get excluded from things and sometimes I’m never included in the first place. 

 

3. Inferiority 

 

Sometimes I think about my own inferiority compared to others in the world and I start to feel physically sick to my stomach with envy knowing that I’ll never be good enough to be important. 

 

I would talk about some other things but I’m sure no one will read this anyway so I’m going to finish up here. 

 

- your average sad teenager

Re: Why am I always sad?

Hi @whizzerbrown

Welcome to the ReachOut forums. I know posting to these forums can be intimidating but I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to talk about the problems you're experiences. 

 

These are some pretty big feelings! You clearly have a lot going on in your life at the moment. Everything you've spoken about is really important but I just want to focus on your first point right now, and then we can get to the other stuff later, is that okay? 

 

Firstly, I'm bisexual too! HEY! Smiley Very Happy It's so great that you're out to your friends! I'm sorry you're worried about your dad's reaction. ReachOut has an excellent article about coming out. It has a specific section on countering negativity that may come in handy if your dad actually does get upset. 

 

Secondly, seeing your doctor and asking for help for mental health issues can be really hard but definitely worthwhile! If you spoke to your mum, how do you think she will react? As a minor you still have rights to see a doctor and get help if you need. This document explains it pretty well. What do you think is the best thing to do in this situation? 

Re: Why am I always sad?

Hey @whizzerbrown - welcome to the forum Heart I'm so glad you've come one here to open up about all this stuff going on for you at the moment ... how'd it feel to get it all out there??

 

And it's totally okay to have a 'rant' and express the messy things that so often clog up our brains - I think you'll find all over the forum, similar thoughts and feelings from other members who also have a hard time being happy. This is a space for you to be honest and get support Heart

 

Coming out and talking to your parents - that's awesome that you want to come out! And great to hear that you're out to your friends Heart But totally get how tough it can be to have those chats with your parents... We have some info over here about how to chat to your parents about tough stuff, and here about coming out... it might be helpful! 
You might want to check out q life as well - they can chat to you and help you through the whole process.  

 

Your feelings about being inferior is super tough ... there's lots I could say about that but I want to emphasise that just by existing on this planet as a human, you are super important, and valuable. 
if you want to chat more about other things going on, we are here to listen Heart

 

I'm going to tag some others that may be able to give you support and encouragement on this as well - @N1ghtW1ng @DruidChild @DirtWitch @rainbowpotato @scared01 @annabethxchase

 

_____________________________________________
I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Why am I always sad?

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your support. I don’t know how my mum would react to be honest but I have a feeling that she might either say I’m probably just feeling sad because she’s never seen me sad or showing symptoms of depression (be in denial about it) or she would either be too protective and never let me do anything because she’s worried it’ll “make me depressed” or I’ll hurt myself. I know that being worried about her being “too protective” is dumb but I crave independence and freedom and I don’t know how I’d manage it was taken away from me. 

I think I definitely just need to man up and talk to her but I just need to find the courage. 

Re: Why am I always sad?

hey @whizzerbrown! another bisexual person checking in here! i'm really glad you have been able to open up with some stuff that's been on your mind and i hope that hearing some other people's responses have helped!

 

coming out is a really complicated and unique thing for everyone and other posters have given some really great resources on how to handle it. i'd just like to add in my two cents to say that even though a lot of LGBT media frames coming out as a sort of coming of age thing that everyone goes through, you absolutely do not have to come out if you do not feel comfortable. it's really great that you have been able to do so with your friends, but please don't feel pressured to do so with your parents especially if you feel like it might affect your home life. I would also really recommend seeing if there are any local LGBT or coming out support groups in your area because they can be a really great space for navigating your feelings about everything.

 

I've been in a similar situation to you where I put off seeing a doctor for mental health for the longest time because I was afraid of bringing it up with my mom, and it did end up making it worse in the long run because I couldn't get treatment. as @Libellule mentioned you can still see a doctor and express consent independent of what your parents know, so I would really take this to reflect on what would be best for your own health sand wellbeing at the moment. I think it would also be really helpful to contact any youth mental health services in your area, as they can give you more advice on your options. Your worries about speaking to your mom are totally valid and it won't be an easy conversation to have, but I believe that you have the ability to make the right decision for what works best for you <3

 

Feeling inferior and left out are both really terrible feelings and it really sucks that you are experiencing them. However, there are many good and valuable things about you that do make you good enough to be important, even if you don't recognise them right now. Being kind to others, having nicely shaped elbows, getting along with your mom...there are many ways people leave a positive impact on the world, and being aware of that is just as important as being aware of areas where you need to grow. 

 

if there are still other things you would like to talk about, i know that all of us at RO would love to hear more about them also