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feeling conflicted

i know it's probably going to sound stupid so i'll keep my complaint to a minimum.

for me the past few years have been an emotional roller coaster. i had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, healed from depression (thankfully), had a temporary relapse but now my problem lies not so much within myself, but in my relationship. 

 

this boy has helped me through so many of my downs and celebrated my ups but there is something that doesn't seem right.

and i know the logical thing would be to talk to him, and i have and he assured me that everything is fine, but it does't feel it. i dont know if this is all in my head d to anxiety or whether or not this is a real thing. a part of me thinks that he doesn't love me anymore, a part of me feels like we're not at the same place as we once were, a part of me thinks that it's because we haven't seen each other in so long but a part of me thinks that i no longer serve him any happiness.

 

do i let someone go knowing that it might serve them happiness even if it breaks my heart?

maybe i'm just being selfish.

 

if anyone has been in this situation, i'd love to hear what you have to say, it would mean so much.

 

all my heart,

lilly 

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Re: feeling conflicted

@lillym  I think if he says he still loves you then you should trust that... the dynamic may have changed a little that is normal for any relationship over time but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore. He may also be acting different because of the current situation with the pandemic everyone is feeling a little off and stressed and sometimes when people are stressed they don’t speak and act with the same enthusiasm as usual which could look like them not liking you as much but it isn’t that they don’t love you as much just that other things are draining on their energy levels and making it hard for them to show and express that love the same way as before. But that would just be my take.

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Re: feeling conflicted

@lillym this is not stupid at all. What you are feeling makes perfect sense. Its a tough one that's for sure! I have gone through this and it is so difficult. I think what is important is to check in with yourself and see how this situation is feeling for you. I think you are right to talk through it with them, and as hard as it may be if their feelings have changed it will better for both of you to move forward as you deserve someone who is on the same page as you, as you don't want to be questioning your worth all the time.