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Struggling to Cope: Lockdown, Uni and Work
Hi all, this is my first post, I’m feeling really optimistic about joining this community. I would love for you guys to share your experiences or if you have any insight, share it.
I am in my second year of a 5 year degree, and I’m really struggling to cope in lockdown. I live alone, work 30 hours a week teaching/tutoring and study full time (3 units instead of 4 but still full time). I take 3 instead of 4 due to complex mental health issues, I have OCPD and see a psychologist and psychiatrist regularly.
Currently, I am feeling so overwhelmed and unmotivated to complete uni work, everything is stressing me out and it feels too much. My entire first year was lost to covid, it was all online, and most of my units in the first semester of this year were online. I have very few uni friends, but the few I do have are wonderful but not in my degree.
I am taking it one day a time, but when everyday is “one of the bad ones”, it’s hard and so tiring. I’m overwhelmed by the news, I’m unable to see my friends and family as I’m in an LGA of concern. I am finding it so hard to focus on my study and I just end up breaking down in tears every time I try.
I don’t know if I should drop back to part time and do 2 units this semester, or just keep pushing through and try and manage. I feel guilt over extending my degree even further and I’m unsure what to do.
At the moment, I don’t know anyone in my personal life who is dealing with this and was wondering if anyone on here might have some insight. I feel like everyone in my zoom-tuts are coping with it just fine, they’re upbeat and seem to be managing all the work and material in lockdown.
thank you all in advance!!
Comments
Hi @BerdNurd
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You're really brave to talk about all of this and I'm really glad that you're here.
Firstly, I want to let you know that you are not alone. Studying and working is a lot to handle, especially during a lockdown when you're living alone! It's natural that you're feeling this way and I empathise completely.
If it helps to know, I'm also studying, working, and living alone too. I really felt overwhelmed earlier this year and I had a similar feeling of guilt when I thought about dropping a unit. However, when I finally did, it helped a lot. I needed the time to just take care of myself and it relieved so much stress. Extending your study is not a bad thing, especially if you're doing it to take care of yourself. Something that helped me was to remind myself: your education is important, but your mental health always comes first 😊
I'm really sorry that you can't see your friends or family right now due to COVID. I'm wondering if you think it might help to talk with them online about how you're feeling? Or maybe your psychologist or psychiatrist?
Thank you again for sharing BerdNurd. You're not alone and we have your back.
Hi Emily,
Thank you for the kind and warm welcome.
I really appreciate your insight. I don't know if I should try and push through with my 3 units, I am already feeling guilty about taking 3 instead of 4, as I feel like I should be able to cope fine not doing the same full study load as everyone else. I know that this is a silly thought and of course, there are others struggling, I am just trying to grapple with my sense of identity outside of university and study as well.
I try and talk with my friends but it's really difficult as I work a lot more hours than they do, coupled with the fact we are in different degrees... it's just tricky. But thank you for your insight, I really needed to hear about someone with a similar experience.
Hey @BerdNurd - thanks so much for your reply.
I can definitely relate to you about the 3 out of 4 units guilt. For me, it's tied to feeling anxious or guilty about not being productive - or not being productive enough.
Another thing is comparing myself to others. If I feel like other people are coping fine, I find it hard to be kind to myself when I can't do the same. I know you've said they're "silly thoughts" (I call them that too), but that doesn't make them any less real for you or me.
Some tips that really help(ed) me are:
- Try to stop comparing: Acknowledge that other people's experiences don't make yours any less real. Try to focus on what you can do for yourself. The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday.
- Take care of yourself right now: If dropping one unit will help you be more ok right now, then it's definitely worth considering. Future you will thank you for looking after yourself. You'll be more equipped to do more units (and things after uni) if you look after yourself right now.
- Looking at the bigger picture: Doing one unit less now won't ruin your study plan, or your career plans. Extending your study won't only just help your wellbeing, but it might even allow you to perform better and enjoy learning more.
- Your mental health comes first: Your mental health is so much more important than doing one unit. Your mental health is the foundation for other things - if you're not doing okay, then you won't be able to study or work.
- Know you're not alone: Many of my peers (myself included) are struggling with study and work right now. I'm sure you'll find people here that understand too, like @rumi1207 I'm glad you reached out here - it's very brave and I hope you continue to talk about it 😊
Hi @Emily-RO I took a couple days to really sit with and process the wonderful advice you gave me. Thank you for taking the time to write to me.
I got special approval to drop to part time in my course for this semester, it means extending my degree another year but whenever I'm plagued by the guilt of that, I tell myself: what is best for me now, is important and health and happiness is my priority. I am struggling right now and I need to care of myself first.
I am currently taking it slow, but I am already feeling better and im looking forward to next week with the lessened load. It's also my birthday tomorrow, yay!
Hi @BerdNurd, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Do you have anything special planned for today?
That's so great that you were able to scale things back to part-time at uni. It sounds like you've got such a busy schedule, so hopefully this takes the pressure off of your shoulders a little bit. I did the same thing during a semester of my degree when I was struggling with my mental health, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I made for myself. I can definitely relate to the feeling of guilt, but I'm so glad that you're being kind to yourself and cutting yourself some slack. You deserve to focus on your wellbeing and happiness!
Hey @BerdNurd,
Firstly, welcome to ReachOut!! Thrilled to have you here 🙂
Secondly, I'm really sorry to hear that the pandemic has been affecting your work and uni schedule. I did my honours year last year during the pandemic, and it was A LOT. I personally find it extremely hard to connect with people online, and studying online can of course be super isolating.
I feel that if you are feeling super overwhelmed it might be helpful to cut down a bit on study, so you can focus and do well on a lesser amount of study? My friend was in a similar situation, working 3 days a week and studying full time, and she found it beneficial to focus on a smaller amount of study while working 3 days (was better for her mental wellbeing). I do get the feeling of guilt and wanting to finish uni ASAP, but I personally feel the benefit of putting self-care first and potentially cutting back if its too much.
You should never feel guilty about taking care of yourself!
Hope this helps (even a little bit)!
Hi Rumi,
Thank you for your warm welcome, I really appreciate it.
Studying online for a second year in a row with little support from the uni is really difficult, I am feeling really burnt out and nauseous all the time.
Did your friend end up dropping a unit and finishing later? I am cognizant of the fact that my mental health and wellbeing should be first, as well as be my main priority, but I am also struggling with guilt and the feeling like a failure.
hmmmmm, it seems that distanced learning at uni is affecting you a lot right now. It sounds super hard not being able to get the support you need from uni with remote learning. I really hope you are able to get the support you need/ or alleviate some of the stress your experiencing!!
My friend is actually doing a 5 year degree as well. She did end up dropping 1 unit, and is still studying (her degree has been extended for I think a year). From what she has told me, although there was the guilt and perhaps annoyance that she didnt finish her degree ASAP, she was really glad that she took the time to take care of herself - she said that it helped her overall perform better at uni, work and her own personal care 🙂
I should also add haha - I finished my undergrad degree last year and was initially intending to do a masters straight after (I would have started this year). However, last yeat was A LOT, LIKE REALLY A LOT. And I decided to take a year off instead. Sometimes it is frustrating to think that I could be further on with my uni degree/ closer to my career prospects. However, ultimately I am really glad that I took a year off to heal from everything - I think that I can go back next year a lot more confident!
You're definitely not a failure. It's totally ok to take some time to figure things out!! And in the long run, generally i feel like taking a break often is a good thing for many aspects of our lives.