possibly withdrawing from course?
Hi all,
I'm currently halfway through my course in OT as a 3rd year/2nd year student. I like the course content, but maybe as a course or career it isn't realistic for me. It will probably take me more than 6 years to complete the course.
But it's been difficult for me. I have severe anxiety and a depression. My parents were never really there for me. I've only had like myself while growing up. I also come from a low socioeconomic background so university is important to me. I've had a very difficult upbringing as well. So I'm just very scared of things going wrong. It's been hard for me to wake up and get of bed lately. My anxiety has been telling me that I should drop the course because it makes me anxious.
I'm a very caring and empathetic person because of my background. Those qualities attracted to me to the profession. But at the same time, it's hard going through the course without much support. I've worked so hard in first year to learn everything I could to provide the best care for others. But since I'm always going through something, maybe it's best that I leave the course. Everytime I fail a unit or drop one, it adds one whole year to the course. I don't know if I could justify spending more than 6 years in a course to not practice in it
I feel more terrible than I usually do nowadays
Thanks for sharing how you're feeling with us, it sounds like you're feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment and it is so great to see you've managed to reach out for some support.
Uni can be such a stressful time, there's so much pressure to do well and neverending work to do! I really struggled when I was at uni and I actually ended up dropping out of my first course and went on to do something completely different instead. But it's a very difficult decision to make. So I can totally empathise with how you're feeling! If you did decide you wanted to do a different course do you have any ideas on what you'd like to do? Or would you like to try something different from studying altogether?
You've mentioned that you have depression and anxiety, do you have any support for this at the moment? Feelings of overwhelm can often feel so much more exaggerated when we're also dealing with depression and anxiety, and can feel like a bit of a downwards spiral. Is there anything you do that helps you feel more grounded in those moments?
Looking forward to your response and helping you talk it through ❤️
Hi @Iona-RO
Thanks so much for your reply.
Yeah I agree. There is always something to do at university. I haven't really thought any other courses except for social work or going to TAFE instead. It's just a big change - I feel really unsettled. I have a really hard time believing in myself as an OT - like how well will I do in fieldwork and will it be good enough?
At the moment, I'm trying to do some breathing to calm myself down. I'm more calmer than before - which I am about. Just trying to relax 🙂
Hi @checkoutoperator I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now. Having been in a similar situation myself, I can imagine just how confusing and overwhelming it all is.
You mention that you like the course content, but you are unsure whether the career is right for you. Do you mind me asking what it is that makes you feel like it's not for you? You also said that you have a really hard time believing in yourself as an OT. I just want to say that this is quite a common feeling to have. So common that there's actually a term for it now; imposter syndrome. It refers to doubting your abilities and feeling like you're not enough in your career.
I also wonder if maybe there is someone at your university you might be able to talk to about this, like a course advisor? Sometimes they can be really helpful and help you decide on a path forward.
Just remember that you're not alone in this and we're all here for you 💜
Hello @Courtney-RO , thanks for your reply. It does feel a bit too much. Like I think it's just confidence. I'm not a very confident person and you would need to be confident as an OT. Like in communication and note making. I think I'm scared of screwing up. It's my health too - I always feel low, I don't have much support as well.
I've made an appointment with the careers advisor.
Thanks for your help 🙂
Struggling with a course is really stressful and I am sorry that you are going through this right now. It sounds so tough. It seems like a lot of doubt and worry is creeping in to your mind. It is common for students to worry about making mistakes, whether they will be good enough or whether the career is what they actually want. While it is common, I can also hear that you are saying that some other factors might be impacting how you feel, like anxiety, lack of support and difficulties with confidence in general. Have you thought of talking to a GP or a psychologist? If you are interested, they can help you build some of these skills or help you explore other career pathways. When I was younger, I used to lack a lot of confidence and could never imagine myself doing the job that I am now. I am not saying it is easy but there is hope that things can improve ❤️
I forgot to mention - thanks for the hope you've given me 🙂
Hi @Taylor-RO
Thanks for your reply. I'm not struggling with it academically. But more my mental health is. My doctor has been really supportive. He says I think you'll be a great OT and your lived experience can benefit others. My psychologist is the same too, she said all you need to do is pass.
You are most welcome.. I know how difficult finding a suitable career path can be. It sounds like you have some supportive professionals in your life. How do you feel about their comments? It sounds like they are really confident about your ability.
Depending on your circumstances, some universities offer a learning access plan which is designed to support you throughout your degree. Is this something you have explored? It might make completing your degree a little easier on you, if you decide to stick it out 😀
Hi @Taylor-RO
Honestly, it feels like they talk about me more positively than what I think of myself.
I have a learning access plan, it really does help 🙂
Aw, @checkoutoperator I'm glad to hear you have support with this.
It's so hard to juggle career goals and mental health stuff sometimes. I know many people here in the community have struggled with that - and so have I!
Sometimes it can feel like taking care of mental wellbeing is a full-time job in itself. 😅 Throw study on top of that, and it's easy to see how things can get hard.
What helped me was letting go of the timeline I had for success/finishing my studies. It isn't easy because thinking, "omg it's going to be six years before I finish", can be overwhelming. It's important to take things one step at a time and show yourself the same compassion you show others!
Can I ask what makes you excited to be an OT? It sounds like lots of people are behind you and think you'll be great in the field.
We are here for you whenever you need to vent about this stuff!
Hi @Bre-RO
I agree, it's difficult to juggle study. I can't even seem to answer what makes me excited about OT. Last time I was excited about OT was when I was practicising role plays. I liked the whole patient interaction. I also liked how you looked into people's homes
Awww, sometimes excitement can change over your degree.. at least that is something I noticed. My excitement in my first year was not the same as my third year, maybe except for the fact that I was closer to finishing 😂 Do you still feel excited about roleplays, patient interactions and looking into people's homes? What do you think has made your excitement change?
Yeah, I like role playing with people.
Well, I was thinking maybe it is a bad idea to be in occupational therapy when I don't really have a support network. My degree is an honours degree... and I remember experiencing really bad anxiety when I had to write an essay. Honours is going to be tough on me.
I'm always going through something. While growing up, I never really had anyone but myself. My mum was unsupportive and emotionally abusive. COVID just means staying at home more and hearing arguments in the background.
I think I just don't see myself as confident in the role.. And that I'll be an empty cup helping others
Hey @checkoutoperator that is so wonderful to hear that you still enjoy role playing! I used to love my uni classes that had some level of role play involved as it made the class so much more exciting.
Honours can be a tough degree but it sounds like you already have a number of people who believe you are more than capable of acheiving it. I think sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. I remember when I considered dropping out of my course. I worried that I would never be good enough to get to where I wanted to be. But after dragging myself over the finish line, I can now say that a lot of the confidence comes after you finish uni.
I'm also sorry to hear that you never really had anyone but yourself growing up, I can only imagine how awful it would have been without the support of your mum. I just want to say that we're all here for you and we will happily cheer you on and support you in whatever decision you make 😊
If you are interested in having a bit of a read though, we do have an article on Dropping out that could be worth having a look at. It makes some really interesting points and also gives you a little more to think about
Hi @Courtney-RO
Thanks for your reply. I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment. There's so many options. I don't know exactly what to do. To stay, to leave my course and do another course.
Really confused. But thanks for the article
I can totally understand you feeling overwhelmed, sometimes it feels easier when we don't have options to choose from! How would you feel about taking a break from your studies and deferring to another time? That way you would have some time to focus on your mental health without the pressure of your degree and also not feel rushed into making a decision about what direction you want to go. So you'd be putting a pause on your studies instead of dropping out in case you decided you did want to go back, or gives you space to explore other anvenues too. What do you think?
Hi @Iona-RO
Thanks for your suggestion, I'm currently on a leave of absence 🙂 Although I do have to make a decision about my course in the next few weeks
@checkoutoperator how's the leave of absence going? It can be good to take a step back and put things on pause sometimes - hopefully that will help you find some clarity around what you'd like to do with your course.
You've mentioned in a few posts that your worries about your uni course stem from concerns about your own mental health, and that you're worried about trying to give to others from an empty cup. Do you feel like your cup is empty now? What kind of things help you to fill up your cup?
hi @Portia_RO
Thanks for replying. Since I've been on a leave of absence, i've been feeling anxious a lot more lately.
I haven't been feeling so well. But i have been trying to go on walks and talk with friends
Hey @checkoutoperator ,
I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling anxious and not so well. If you feel comfortable sharing, what's been going on for you to feel that way? It sounds like a difficult time. I can see you're trying to do self-care in going out for walks and talking with friends. Have you found it helpful? I find it helps alleviate the sense of feeling overwhelmed when we can safely share what's going on for us with others.
Sending you all my positive energy across the screen 🤗
I think it's figuring out what to do with my course. It's like I don't exactly want to leave it but if I stay, I'm just not sure and that makes me anxious..
but thanks for your help and much needed positivity 🙂
@checkoutoperator I really feel for you - it can be so tough to make these kinds of decisions. I often think it'd be super handy to have a crystal ball and to know what the outcomes of different decisions will be, but then there'd probably be cons to that as well I guess.
I'm hearing that you're feeling unsure about the future, where your course might lead or what you might use it for, and it's making me wonder about the here and now - do you feel like you're getting something out of the course for the moment? (eg. Are you learning or gaining something from the individual subjects?)
If so, would there be the option of not making a decision for now, and maybe turning your attention to doing something like one subject at a time?
I'm asking because it's a big decision - and I just wondered if it could still be beneficial to work on one subject, even if you don't decide to continue the course in the long term (eg. in terms of learning things you're interested in, or finishing subjects you could potentially count for credit on another course later).
Apologies if that's not helpful... it's an approach I use sometimes when I'm struggling with a big decision, but everyone's different and it may not be for you.
I really hope things start to feel a bit clearer for you soon and we're always here to talk things through. 💛
Hi @Philippa-RO
Thanks so much for replying! With my degree, there's a lot of areas you can go in such as home visiting OT and mental health OT and you can also become a counsellor. I think I am gaining something from the course - better communication skills at least. I'm halfway through a degree I guess - so a sense of achievement.
Thanks for your help though. Like if I decided to stick with OT, it's not an entirely bad decision... bc there are a lot of options with OT.
It sounds like you have gained some really good skills and insights from your course @checkoutoperator It's also really good to hear that there are so many options associated with your current course too, though I imagine it would feel quite overwhelming. Like you, I did a course which offered a number of pathways, so I know that making a decision can be so stressful. In my case, I was able to identify things that I didn't want to do and that helped me narrow down some of the options.
We have an article on Decision making which might be able to give you some other ideas. I also want to say that as long as your enjoying what you're learning, there is no wrong decision 💜
