I’m addicted to porn and i feel like I’m fighting alone
I’ve been watching porn since I was 11-12 years old when some friends introduced it to me. Since then I can hardly last more than 2 days without it. Im 15 now. Everyone says it’s normal and that Everyone does it but it doesn’t feel right. I have to stay up late at night until my parents fall asleep to do it then I stay up until past 1 in the morning. I’m always tired and it’s affecting my everyday life. When I stay up at these times I have scary thoughts and I have written some pretty dark thoughts. I don’t want to tell my parents I’m addicted to porn, because i feel like they would be disappointed in me. I can hardly look at women the same and I just want to be nice and a gentleman. How do I get out of this….
Comments
Hey @Maize_Falcon
Porn is definitely something that is very normalised in our society these days I've found, and quite ubiquitous; especially with the rise of platforms like OnlyFans. It can have positive and definitely very negative effects. However, I feel as though exposure at such a young age and the way in which it is negatively impacting your life is an issue. I'm glad you have recognised this as something you want to change!
Have you considered discussing this with maybe a school counsellor? Or Kids Helpline?
Additionally, have you tried to lessen your consumption? Like for instance, when I want to stop a bad habit (for me, excessive skin picking) I try and tally the amount of days I've gone without doing it. When I reach a certain goal, I allow myself a treat. Positive reinforcement! Another user on here @Lemon_Dolphin also suggested limits, which is similar and another good idea. Also, to reiterate what was said by them, it will take effort and it is okay to fail at times.
Additionally, I had a speaker come to my highschool, back when I was your age, and he discussed his previous porn addiction. He talked about how he couldn't watch Game of Thrones because it was too sexual in nature. It might be difficult in today's society, but is there a way for you to avoid shows or imagery, etc, that are overly sexual in nature and may trigger you to want to watch porn again?
Self-care is particularly important, as this seems like a distressing time for you. Is there any activities and such that you enjoy doing that will elevate your mood and make you feel better? 🙂
Best wishes and best of luck to you! This is tricky, but you can get through this!
Thank you! I'm going to keep fighting until this addiction is a thing of the past!
Addictions can be quite hard to get out. But trust me, you can do it.
Perhaps some things you could do to help are finding other things to be doing when you normal look at porn. If you find something else that will give the same feeling after that could help. Like I am trying to do a similar thing with my struggles with self-harm urges by finding something to give me the dopamine I would be getting if I did self-harm. So perhaps you could find something that will help with that.
If you also give yourself limits and slowly make it less and less time watching it, that could help.
Remember to be forgiving to yourself because it will take time and a lot of effort. And you will fail sometimes but you can do it.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through what your going through but I'm really happy you've found a way to get around it and avoid it. Thanks for letting me know how you cope with it and I will definitely try some of these techniques. Stay happy! 😁
Hey @Maize_Falcon,
Firstly, I would like to welcome you to ReachOut! It is tough to share something intimate and vulnerable with others, so I’d like to thank you for being incredibly courageous and sharing what you’re going through! Having any addiction is really tough, especially when you’ve recognised that it is affecting your daily life. You should be super proud of yourself for being able to identify that pornography is problematic for you!
I can see that this has been really difficult for you, including the fact that you are experiencing scary and dark thoughts. I am curious about how long you have been having these thoughts for? I can hear that you’ve also been writing these thoughts down. This is a really great strategy to manage these thoughts. Do you find writing your thoughts down helpful? It is also important to take care of yourself during this time, so I am wondering if you have been engaged in any self-care lately? If you’re looking for some ideas, here is an article on how to be awesome at self-care that includes some tips on self-care activities that you can do.
It is understandable that you don’t want to tell your parents about your addiction, and can be daunting to speak to your parents about something private. Often It can be helpful to talk to a professional like a counsellor or psychologist. If you’re interested in speaking to a professional I encourage you to connect with Kids Helpline which is free and confidential, and can be super helpful in understanding addiction and what recovery can look like for you. Kids Helpline also has a really great resource on porn that you might find useful, which you can find here.
ReachOut is also here to support you and have seen many other young people experiencing a pornography addiction so you’re not at all alone! I would like to share this reply made by Tardis009 who commented on another community member's thread about their addiction to pornography. They shared some really great words and also linked their original post where they too shared their experience being addicted to porn.
An email has also been sent to you so please keep an eye out for that!
Thank you so much for the support and thanks for the welcome. I'm going to try some of these techniques to hopefully overcome the addiction. I talked to a person at headspace about my dark thoughts and I am waiting to be hooked up with a psychologist. I am exited to try new things to take my mind off the addiction. 😁
Hey @Maize_Falcon,
Thank you for your response, it is really appreciated! I am so glad to hear that you have connected with Headspace and have organised to see a psychologist! This is so inspiring to see how determined you are to receive support to manage the addiction. You should be so proud of yourself!
Sometimes young people will choose to do certain activities to look after themselves after having a tough day or night. Few of these activities include, journalling, reading a book, or watching a movie. I am curious to know how you look after yourself when you’re having a tough night?
I’d also like to give you a friendly reminder that we sent you an email yesterday to check in. I was wondering if you have had the chance to view that yet?
