I need someone to listen to this. I need help.
5 months ago, I have found my first love.
Five months sounds like a short time, but I have fell hard to him and he did as well for me.
We know how to give each other space, we do our own things but always message each other everyday, checking in, making sure both of us are fine and happy.
We have just finished our high school year, and are going to start our new jouney in uni next year.
As I have heard a lot from others and esp my family, that first love never last. It feels shattering. About how we will persue our personal lives and our relationship will most likely come to an end, because we will have different needs. But I really am putting faith in our love, he loves and cares about me a lot, we know each other really well and he is willing to introduce me to his family.
I come from a Chinese background family, and he comes from a pretty open family, India originated.
My mother has told me that it will be difficult for your children, because your child will have Indian blood, and the world's discrimination and racism will not go away.
I really want us to be an exception, and tell my children about discrimination and racism, that they cannot let you down. I came from a multiculturaled school, I have seen many acceptance and embrace.
I really do not want to lose hope in this relationship, but adults' advices are always worth to listen to right? Because they have the most experience??
I NEED HELP, I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS 😞
Comments
keep the feeling you have for him, you are doing everything correct by keeping space care for eachother, i had my first love and it crushed me. dont go the same path as some realationships go, hope this helps 🙂
Hi @leviheichou, sounds like you and your boyfriend have some pretty big things to think about!
First of all I wanted to say that it seems like you're handling this issue with such maturity, which is really great. You're still pretty young and since a lot of young people can get caught up in the feeling of first love your family are probably just trying to make sure that your expectations about your relationship are realistic, but it sounds like they might not exactly be going about it the right way and have freaked you out a bit in the process. You asked in your message whether adults are always worth listening to and my answer to that would be that adults are just people, so they might not always be 100% correct. You can take what they've said into account, but ultimately you're the one who is in charge of your life and the decisions you make.
Like @ElleBelle said, the key to making the best of your relationship with your boyfriend is that you are communicating about these questions you have about your future openly. If you two are on the same page, you can address challenges and worries as a team. No relationship is totally perfect, but it's how you tackle the problems that do come up that counts.
We're always here to talk if you need us. I hope some of this helps 🙂
Hey @leviheichou, glad to see you back on ReachOut!
First love is super exciting! From what you've described, your relationship sounds really healthy and you seem really happy with each other. I understand that your parents have your best interests at heart and don't want to see you get hurt, but I don't think that their advice is very supportive or helpful. It's true that couples sometimes grow apart and their lives go in different directions, but that can happen to couples of all ages. I know several high school sweethearts who are still together today, so it's not true that every first love will come to an end. Every relationship is different, some will run their natural course and some won't.
I hope you and your boyfriend are able to talk openly with each other about what lies ahead and what you both need. That's an important part of a healthy relationship, and it can help get you through any difficult times you may face, like a difference in culture or going to different universities.
If you do need someone to talk to, we are always here on the forums but there are also counselling services like Kids Helpline who can be there to listen and support you. I hope you will reach out to them if things start to feel overwhelming.
