Should I stay or break up
HI everyone, advice please if anyone has been in a similar situation 🙂
I have an amazing boyfriend who I love very much but lately I've been having thoughts about wanting to be single and feeling as though I want to discover myself outside of a relationship. We have been together for nearly 4 years and have a beautiful relationship. as context he is 31 and I'm 22 and he has always made it very clear that he wants kids and a house and all that in his late thirties (at the very latest). I have always wanted these things too but sometimes I feel like I'm trapped and that my future is structured and unyielding ... I feel like I know what I want for a period of time and then change my mind over and over again.
These thoughts aren't new to me though as I kind of shoved them down a year ago and couldn't justify breaking someones heart and gaining no benefit from being single again. Sorry if this doesnt make too much sense..
So I guess my dilemma is; I have a great relationship with not much to fault AT ALL, but why am I thinking about how much greener the grass is on the other side
sounds silly but I love him too much to do anything to hurt him... and that is probably damaging to me and will come back to haunt me later
If anyone can offer any advice or just let me know if this is crazy or not xx
Comments
Hey @sunny12345 ,
You definitely don't sound crazy at all - I think it's pretty common for people to have those kind of questions when you've been in a serious relationship from when you were pretty young. It sounds like your partner has some pretty definite ideas about what he wants from your future. I think it's completely natural to still be questioning what exactly you want from life when you're 22 - a lot of us change a lot in the years from 18 to 22, and I think it's completely natural to be feeling a bit scared and trapped about settling down with kids and a house. I know for me personally, I was in a serious relationship in my early twenties that I thought would be forever, but we ultimately decided that we needed to be apart to work out who we were outside of the relationship. On the other hand, I know people who did marry really young and have had really happy marriages.
I'm wondering if you've ever chatted to your partner about how you're feeling about all of this?
