Turning something negative into a positive!
Hi everyone!
@Bee you mentioned the importance of being positive.
I think it's so important to see the silver lining of things!
Let's try to turn something negative into a positive!
@ryvb3 brought up a very good point. It's also very important to see how we challenge our negative thoughts and show our thinking processes.
I'll start:
Negative: I have been very stressed and pressured about uni applications.
Question to challenge thought: Do I really need to be stressed? I think I may be over worrying. I have already done a lot.
Positive: I should be proud of myself for what I have done and achieved. I shouldn't be stressed, whatever is meant to be is meant to be. I'm sure it will all work out.
Comments
It's okay. It's okay.
I AM trying. I still do everything. I still work, I still do hobbies, I'm still here and I'm still trying. Maybe one day I won't be tired anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm going stop, no matter how hard I want to. I WON'T.
The positive? Tonight will end. I have my own music, and possibly Ben 10 depending on how well I can hear their shit through my headphones. I'll get through it, hopefully with no breakdowns.
Great idea @missep! I believe it is also important to show others how you got from a negative to a positive thought, so I included a question before getting to the positive thought.
Your post reminded me of a YouTube video I saw recently:
Negative: I feel like a failure for not passing a school test today and everyone else around me has passed.
Question to challenge thought: Is it true that I am a failure? What is the evidence against that?
Positive: Failing a test does not mean that I am a failure. It's normal to not get it right the first time especially when you are in an unfamiliar situation. It's important to remember that there are other things I am good at. Also, don't forget every failure means there is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes 🙂
I'm going to alter my post to reflect the question too!
Thank you for sharing, you are definitely not a failure! I believe in you!
Negative: I was reading through some of my new course material my teacher sent me because the transition into the new version of the course is taking so long, and in reading through some of the external links I started to feel like where I have been kinda pointing myself will become obsolete with the growth and intelligence of technology. This made me feel sad and down about myself and I started to question what I'm even doing in life...
Questions to challenge thought: What evidence do I have to support that my path will be obsolete? Does one or two articles really make the whole thing obsolete? Is there ways I can adjust and grow with the sector and technology?
Positives: Sure things are changing based on technology, but there are still so many businesses who aren't even at that point of considering it yet. One or two articles can get me thinking and encourage me to research more into how technology impacts the sector and workflow. The articles were talking about how the workflow is more productive with newer technology advances etc. There are multiple ways to grow with the technology advances, and I doubt that technology will fully replace a human in the role (but hey I never know right?), A quick google search lead me to other ways I can still be in the sector and work alongside these technology advances etc.
Negative: I am feeling lots of anger and rage towards my brother and his actions of last night and just now. I dislike feeling these emotions very much
Questions to Challenge thoughts: Is my anger and frustration justified by his actions? AM I overreacting? What can I do now to change these feelings?
Positive: Yes and no, in a way frustration is normal, but I feel like the anger is a bit extreme. I've been able to identify that this is an area I need to work on and I can try to focus on calming myself down in heated situations. I might need to go back to carrying my headphones with me more often to block out his stupid.
Negative: Some of the things my brother said to me got stuck in my head and I felt really bad about myself, both last night and just now.
Questions: Is what he said true? Do they define me?
Positive: With help from an amazing friend and a chat she helped me see that those things don't apply to me and I'm best to try and ignore his rude comments.
Negative: I didn't get either of the jobs I interviewed with last week. I'm feeling quite self-conscious about it and wondering if I'll ever be good enough for an employer
Questions to Challenge thoughts: Is it the end of the world I didn't get the job?
Positive: It's not the end of the world and not getting the job doesn't define my self-worth. I also know that my GP and psychologist would rather see me in a supportive environment rather than just any old environment. So maybe not getting either of those jobs is a good thing 🙂
Negative: I was feeling a bit low and discouraged from doing anything. I'd achieved my to-do list of tasks I had to do today.
Questions to Challenge thoughts: What can I do to help make myself feel a bit brighter? Maybe these posts that I have received high fives from?
Positive: Reading through my emails of the posts that the community has high-fived, and just reading the posts of mine made me smile. It did make me feel a little better, and prompted me to put in another song for last week's Well Being Wednesday on FEEL GOOD SONGS!
Neg: I was so tired today when I woke up and was tempted to skip hydrotherapy all together
Question: I didn't question myself but, questions would have been "Would skipping it benefit me in any way?"
Pos: I ended up going and had a laugh with my physio because she was wondering where I was haha
(I am no longer under her direct care in the water, I'm doing it myself but I had to get my program from her - today was my first session myself!)
much like @Bee I woke up this morning and did not want to go to an appointment I had committed to.
Neg: I was tired and wanted to sleep in on my day off
Question: Will this benefit my health? Will you have time to reschedule this/ end up having to get up early on another day anyway?
Pos: I ended up going and got more done at the appointment than anticipated. It also meant I practiced self care today because I prioritised my health over an extra 30 mins sleep (took a nap in the afternoon anyway hehe).
Question: Was it really such a terrible mistake? Is the level of shame and embarrassment proportionate to the mistake made?
Positive: It wasn't really a huge mistake, the proprietor came looking for it and asked when he didn't know where it was. He commented that I was "too efficient" for him. My manager didn't scold me or tell me off about it. I think she knew that I got the message. As per the sticky notes, I wrote myself and the other proprietor (who has to sight his paperwork).
Negative: Despite my manager being calm and non-judgemental towards me I still felt as though I made a HUGE mistake and felt really antsy and anxious when it came to her teaching me a new task in my job.
Question: Is there any real need to be scared of this manager? Has this manager given you any indication to be scared of her?
Positive: No, quite the opposite, this manager is kind, caring and compassionate. She's not given me any reason not to trust her. I couldn't ask for a better person to be a manager.
Negative: I know that I'm having these feelings because of a previous manager and employer combination a couple years back. It along with my other life experiences make some of this really difficult to challenge at times.
Question: Is this like the last experience?
Positive: NO. This is an entirely different experience. And I can see from my current workplace training that it won't be like the last employer. I've been able to identify these issues and I'm going to bring them up with my psychologist as this is something I need to address before it tries to make it's way into my current workplace.
Negative: I saw an invoice in the paperwork yesterday from the company I had a previous bad employment experience with. It brought back some of these memories and fears about this employer. I'm scared that having to process the invoices from them will continue to haunt me during work.
Question: What can I realistically do?
Positive: I am going to bring this up with both my psychologist and my job search agency who is supporting me to settle into the role (I have an obligation to continue to see them for a while)
